chris balser 🖤

@doomfunk

systems designer. artist. writer. doer of silly voices. salmiakki advocate. worked on ESO, Starfield, Diablo 4, Cyberpunk 2. having one very, very long blonde moment.

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chris balser 🖤@doomfunk· 22d

@parkermj.bsky.social drew jimothy with the kids' markers and doesn't generally "do" social media but has given me permission to share

a drawing of jimothy raccoon, a delightful scamp with short spine syndrome giving it a suspicious yet playful cast to its stout round body and making its limbs appear unusually long. the drawing is in washable Crayola markers on printer paper, favouring crisp black lines and hatched grey fills to suggest jimothy's coat pattern. "JiMOTHY" is written against his left rear flank.

chris balser 🖤@doomfunk· 29d

this was mine. think i still have it somewhere. the ideal mobile telephone experience in all ways but one: wish it flipped shut like a razr, hanging up on people by closing the phone felt Powerful

a lime green motorola q9c featuring its excellent keyboard layout and navigation buttons. the perfect phone. we must go back.

chris balser 🖤@doomfunk· Jul 10

huh. a milestone of sorts. thanks for being here for my rare statements about the industry, my depressing jokes, and my occasional artwork. I'll express my feelings artistically soon, i promise.

a snip of my name (which is chris balser) and a black heart emoji, followed by my current follower count (which is 2000)

chris balser 🖤@doomfunk· Jul 9

Jake Armitage, from SNES Shadowrun, wearing cool cyberpunk sunglasses, saying "that is my commute snack. you can't have it. i need to eat it on the train."

generated by Alice Averlong's death generator. https://deathgenerator.com/#sr

chris balser 🖤@doomfunk· Jul 8

hair and wardrobe really made some magic happen either in this movie or outside this movie, not sure which. good for her (or us)

a snip of imdb showing jennifer garner erroneously using the portrait of david keith, the actor who played jack murdock, who is matt murdock's father by the way. i bet you didn't know that. Colin Farrell stands next to him as the image is cut off, glancing past him. at you. ben affleck is also present, as in the movie.

chris balser 🖤@doomfunk· Jul 5

okay so i completely missed mystery inc. because it came out when i was deep in the art school hole, but uhhhh watching it now with my kids and i have a new favourite scooby gang adjunct character? she rules? she's the best?

Marcie Fleach, also known as Hot Dog Water, a skinny awkward kid who has a lot in common with Velma Dinkley. Her hair is messier, her yellow glasses sit lower and more awkwardly on her face, and she is generally disheveled. She is also big time gay for Velma (not portrayed in this image).

chris balser 🖤@doomfunk· Jul 4

oh there you are, dearie! pleasure to see you again, vee hee hee!

the female undead merchant in her place at the back of a dark tunnel in dark souls 1.

chris balser 🖤@doomfunk· Jul 4

joke answer: Ganacci But From A Different Music Video serious answer:

Claire from Star Gladiators, a fencer in scarlet and silver futuristic platemail with an extremely short blonde pageboy bob. Her epee is a laser blade. She is, for some reason, not wearing any pants.

chris balser 🖤@doomfunk· Jul 2

well, there is... this. which isn't that.

one of the covers of national lampoon's DOON, a dune parody where melange is replaced by beer and instead of sandworms there are giant pretzels. i haven't read it. i don't know if it's actually funny or good. i don't have a good relationship with national lampoon.

chris balser 🖤@doomfunk· Jun 20

lol

a screenshot of final fantasy tactics: the ivalice chronicles, showcasing ramza in the very first battle of act 1 casting ultima on a couple of squires from the corpse legion. also pictured are meliadoul tengille at the bottom of the screenshot, and you can also barely see reis dular's feet. none of the enemy squires had the chance to act.

chris balser 🖤@doomfunk· Jun 18

noticed my strawberry pop tarts are best if used by Mr. Saturn. including a mr. saturn line for context.

A strawberry pop tarts box where the best if used by date has become misaligned and misprinted into whimsical whirly swooshes and loops.

a screenshot from Earthbound in which Ness speaks to a Mr. Saturn, who says "i give you special thing" in the creatures' signature alphabet, which is all weird and loopy and swooshy.

chris balser 🖤@doomfunk· Jun 17

TJ from GTA3, strolling along. "Ah shit, here we go again."

chris balser 🖤@doomfunk· Jun 14

oh come on! what the heck? i have been over these dweebs for almost thirty years

Cloud Strife
90
RESONANCE SCORE
Top 3%
「If not me, then who」
You are someone who keeps standing even while broken.
Your memories have lied to you—they always have—
yet the hand that grips the sword never wavers.
You learned long ago to carry pain alone,
to build walls so high that even you forgot what's behind them.
But something moves in you before thought can stop it:
when someone falls, you are already there.
That contradiction—the distance you keep, the fights you take—
is not emptiness. It is the shape of someone
who refuses to stop caring, no matter the cost.
The real battle was never against Sephiroth.
It was against the voice that said you were no one.
You are not no one.
You never were.

Your Hidden Inner Self
FINAL FANTASY VII
Sephiroth
Deep inside you carry a "rightness" that no one else understands. You go along outwardly, yet there are moments when you quietly believe you're the one who's right.

chris balser 🖤@doomfunk· Jun 12

I've learned so much about how to talk to people from this one bit right here

4. I WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT I THINK ABOUT THIS MANIFESTO, BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO READ IT SO MY THOUGHTS ARE MOSTLY BASED ON A VAGUE IDEA OF WHAT I THINK YOU MEANT OR SAID

it's important to have dreams, and I support you in this.

chris balser 🖤@doomfunk· Jun 12

the leaves look kind of like the lefthand example for leaf structure in this buttercup illustration. stem looks a little thin but the flower seems right, too? I'm a dunce with plants but I'm learning lately.