dorktacular dad (@dorkdad) · DIRTY

dorktacular dad

@dorkdad

Dork. Dad. He/him.

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dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jul 14

Our sacred ancestor:

Paul Bunyan from the classic Disney cartoon version of the character. He's very tall and holds a giant axe.

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jul 13

Another win for those of us who regularly shove amphibians up our asses.

Screenshot of a reddit page. It shows this headline: "Scientists found a bacterium in the gut of a Japanese tree frog that eliminated colorectal tumors in 100% of treated mice with a single intravenous dose, outperforming standard chemotherapy and immunotherapy. The results are preclinical, published in Gut Microbes, and human trials are the next step."

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jul 12

Classic asshole Bluesky moment, creating drama and acting like getting blocked matters. Bison are everywhere in Yellowstone. People get hurt when they act like jackasses and provoke bison. That's not what happened here and this Sage Deviant asshole does not know what they're talking about. (1/5)

Screenshot of a thread of replies in Bluesky. A person named Sage Deviant is throwing a shit fit. Over three posts, each of which has many replies, likes, and reposts:

1. to anyone blaming a bison for defending itself instead of the humans who were fucking around near its home:

nature is not Disneyland. wild animals do not behave according to human guidelines.

2. i am blocking anyone who tries to argue with me about this topic.

bison are especially aggressive during calving season. this literally happens every year.

3. i have blocked at least 20 people so far who apparently would also love to

(this last post is cut off)

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jul 12

Now watching: Tremors

Movie poster for the 1990 film Tremors.

The top reads:
KEVIN BACON
THE MONSTER MOVIE THAT BREAKS NEW GROUND

Then we see a picture of three people looking down at the ground. Underground via a cutaway, we see the movie title and the giant mouth of a monstrous creature open, facing the characters above ground like it's about to burst forth and eat them.

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jul 11

Simpsons screenshot. Homer is sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl and spoon. He is talking. "Bullshitting is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the bull."

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jul 10

Simpsons screenshot. Apu is yelling at Homer. "Oh would you shut up? I can't believe you don't shut up!"

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jul 9

But it has a happy Waffle House-and-pony ending.

Screenshot from a Wikipedia article. It reads: "A few days later, Miranda ends up at Bray's house to clear the air and meets his sister, who exclaims that Bray has gone to Miranda's. They meet at a Waffle House and embrace.

Sometime later, Miranda's family is living with Bray, and Bray buys a pony for Bess."

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jul 9

Now watching: The Salton Sea

Movie poster for the 2002 film The Salton Sea.

The movie title appears in black in the top third of the image. The tagline appears above and to the right, nested in the upper right corner: "if you're looking for the truth, you've come to the wrong place"

The middle of the poster shows the tattooed back of a shirtless man in a stark white environment. The bottom of the middle section is in flames, like a burning photograph. At the very bottom we can see that this movie stars Val Kilmer, Vincent D'Onofrio, Dough Hutchison, and Peter Sarsgaard.

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jul 8

Bunny in a clover patch in morning light.

A small brown rabbit is standing amongst green clover leaves and grass and white clover flowers in a kinda shaggy law. A leaf is in its mouth. Light dapples about.

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jul 8

Futurama screenshot. Professor Farnsworth is talking: "Tell him I hate him."

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jul 6

Now watching: Bad Day at Black Rock

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jul 3

Now watching: Repulsion

Movie poster for the 1965 film Repulsion.

At the top, in handwriting, the movie's tagline: "The nightmare world of a virgin's dreams becomes the screen's shocking reality!!"

Below that, we see a young blonde woman's face shown seven times with different expressions, above the illustration of an open straight razor.

The bottom half of the poster has a light pink background and says:

Roman Polanski's
REPULSION
From the award-winning director of "Knife in the Water"

Starring Catherine Deneuve

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jul 2

Writing totally normal fanfic about this totally normal thing.

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jul 2

Now playing: M

Movie poster for the 1930 film M.

Illustration of a man's hand, open, palm up. The letter M is painted in red (blood?) on it. Black background. In the lower left, it reads, "EIN FRITZ LANG FILM DER NERO" and at the bottom, "VERLEIH: VER. STAR-FILM G M B H"

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jul 1

Simpsons screenshot. Close-up of Homer's insurance form for getting his baldness medication. Form shows the following:

"Medication purchased: Dimoxinil

This treatment is for: To keep brain from freezing”

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jun 30

Now watching: Red Dawn

Movie poster for the 1984 film Red Dawn

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jun 29

A totally legit account just spam-replied one of my posts. Clicked to check it out and that's some serious spammy dissonance.

Screenshot of the first two posts from a bsky account named Lustful Lucy. Pinned post at the top is a scam Gaza link about donating to children. The next posts reads, "not to be too horny but i just got a 12inch and thick dildo 🤭"

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jun 29

🙃

Close-up of the can pictured in the OP where we see a gun's crosshairs with the words MENTAL FOCUS.

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jun 29

Ridiculously photogenic grey and white striped tabby, laying on a bed in the sunshine

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jun 29

Therefore, by the transitive property, The Witch is the most Methodist movie ever made.

Screenshot from animated comedy King of the Hill. Bobby and Hank are sitting in an office facing the pastor of their church, who says, "Methodism is a rejection of Calvinism."

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jun 29

Now watching: Old Boy

Movie poster for the 2003 Korean movie Old Boy

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jun 28

lol of course the Mueller She Wrote grifter is showing up in the comments of this slop

Screenshot of bluesky post. The bottom half of an AI-generated Peanuts political cartoon, followed by a comment from shitty Resistance™ figure Mueller She Wrote where she writes "I'll see you and raise you that no politician should have better health car than any constituent the represent."

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jun 27

Twin fawns!

Two white-tail deer fawns are half-obscured by various plants in a fairly naturalized section of a back yard.

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jun 27

Simpsons screenshot. Principal Skinner is sitting and talking to Homer. He says, "AI is not a frivolous thing. It has little, if anything, to do with a disobedient whale."

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jun 27

Simpsons screenshot. Principal Skinner stands in an open doorway in a shipping mall, looking disgusted. He says, "Well, why don't I drink out of a toilet bowl?"

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jun 26

hmm

Screenshot of Google Gemini AI session showing the previously generated dominatrix Sonic the Hedgehog image and the following exchange

User: Did you use my previous prompt history to generate that image?

Gemini: No, I didn't utilize your previous chat history to generate these images.

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jun 26

4. whenever I need to attend a school concert (end thread for now)

Simpsons screenshot. Superintendent Chalmers is standing in a school gymnasium with a broken window in the background. He is annoyed, maybe angry. He says, "Class after class of ugly, ugly children."

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jun 26

3. whenever i see a link to an article from Wired

Simpsons screenshot. Homer is sitting on the couch reading Wired magazine, talking to Lisa. He says, "Hey, why didn't you tell me the new issue of Weird was here?"

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jun 26

2. whenever I encounter a tube

Simpsons screenshot. Former presidential candidate Bob Dole stands naked in a glass tube inside an alien spaceship. He says, "What the hell is this, some kind of tube?"

dorktacular dad@dorkdad· Jun 26

Simpsons quotes that I cannot escape, a thread: 1. whenever someone mentions beans

Simpsons screenshot. A mustachioed man (a teacher) says, "Well, beans were a staple of the Israelites."