jeb haus

@drjeb

i’m a hip old granny who can hip-hop, be-bop, dance til you drop

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jeb haus@drjeb· 8d

sign me up!

ad for MasterClass. Picture of Howard Schultz, former Starbucks CEO. the class is called Jack Off Instruction. The Former Starbucks CEO shares lessons from nearly 40 years of masturbating. 13 lessons, 2hr 27mins.

jeb haus@drjeb· 22d

POV from a soldier looking in his helmet at a picture of his honey back home but it's Crystal the panda lady from Swan Boy

jeb haus@drjeb· 26d

on this day in 1995, scientists discovered bisexuality. happy 31st birthday to all my fellow bs

Newsweek cover from 1995 with the headline "Bisexuality: Not Gay. Not Straight. A New Sexual Identity Emerges." on top of two two people and Alf

jeb haus@drjeb· Jul 14

the Stay Sippin Method works!

jeb haus@drjeb· Jul 13

so glad to hear he's okay but he still needs our prayers!! 🙏🙏🙏

Screenshot from Threads of Mitch McConnell with the text "My name is Mitch McConnell and I am in heat and I am relentessly satisfying myself in my bedroom. I will also wakeup early in the morning around 4am to satisfy myself to help resolve being in heat. I been in heat since Sunday , after coming home from from my client's home. I am still in heat. Please pray for me that this shall subside.

jeb haus@drjeb· Jun 17

spooky A24 poster for a groverhaus film called "haus"

jeb haus@drjeb· Jun 17

so this is why their skin looks so good

graphic that says "-44% blemishes after 4 weeks" and a minion is seeing this information and is gobsmacked, it can't believe it

"Cover the affected area with a thin layer one to three times daily. clean skin thoroughly before applying" and a minion has a film camera pointed forward, and you can see the reflection of a monster in the lens? am I the monster? is that what I look like? is that why I need this blemish kit?

jeb haus@drjeb· Jun 5

the poster's throne

screenshot from craigslist: "Black office chair. Adjustable" a plain black office chair on some grass and with a bright white toilet raiser on the seat.

jeb haus@drjeb· May 26

kid rock's "hey authority" tweet but instead of flipping the bird at a courthouse he's at the pentagon saluting in front of an american flag for memorial day and he looks like he looks like absolute dogshit, a corpse with a terrible hat and big sunglasses, heisenberg if he was using his own product

jeb haus@drjeb· May 25

god you think that the young ones are gonna stand up for their values and what's right and reject this toxic celebrity culture, and then you see them do shit like this 🙄

that big netflix comedians picture and grogu is waving behind louis c.k. and dave chappelle.

jeb haus@drjeb· Apr 7

👍

Dr. Naomi Wolf twitter screenshot where she's just saying "Call me ill-informed"

jeb haus@drjeb· Mar 11

BREAKING: Jason Derulo has fallen down the stairs trying to cross the Strait of Hormuz!!

smoke from boat on fire in the background with the met gala stairs in front and jason derulo falling absolutely crazy style. anyway remember this meme, thought it'd be nice to see it again

jeb haus@drjeb· Mar 10

never wanted to spin a wheel more

spinning wheel from a website that says "Win Free Worms & Discounts!" The slices of the wheel say "FREE Worms" "20% OFF" and "No Luck"

jeb haus@drjeb· Mar 2

ian miles cheong in the dubai club baby yeah

jeb haus@drjeb· Feb 24

wow, AI just keeps getting better - it's finally powerful enough to show us what tim pool's head looks like underneath that beanie 😍

jeb haus@drjeb· Feb 16

picture of the original kermit the frog puppet, text on top says FUN FACT OF THE DAY — Initially, Kermit the Frog had realistic human-like genitals. His fleshy cock & balls was officially lopped off during a 1969 TV special.

jeb haus@drjeb· Feb 5

two piles of money crossed out over a picture of Elon and text that says "friendship ended with MONEY. now NOBODY is my best friend."

jeb haus@drjeb· Jan 23

yeeuh

jeb haus@drjeb· Jan 13

Reporting live from the scene: white smoke is coming from the tower, the conclave has chosen a new Dilbert

White puff of smoke coming from the Dilbert-looking tower from Scott Adams' stupid mansion. Rest in piss fuckface

jeb haus@drjeb· Dec 22

god he made the right choice, imagine trying to have sympathy for a sick child named "Little Fred"...

wikipedia excerpt about Tiny Tim in Dickens' A Christmas Carol: Dickens tried other names such as "Tiny Mick" after "Little Fred" but eventually decided upon "Tiny Tim". After dropping the name "Little Fred", Dickens later used it for Scrooge's nephew "Fred".

jeb haus@drjeb· Nov 12

INCREDIBLE BREAKTHROUGH IN AI TECHNOLOGY the fake "tiny houses" have fat dog now

a fake AI render of a "tiny house" loft that is actually two stories and has weird impossible geometry, four to six cups of coffee on saucers sitting on various surfaces, and OH YEAH a big fat dog lying on the floor

jeb haus@drjeb· Oct 30

lol this kids hair. graphic designer saw those dreads and said “nope!” did a quick swoosh with the lasso tool and called it a day

Front cover of a kids booster seat box with two kids in the seat.

closeup of a young black kid with dreads that the graphic designer just chopped off in an off-kilter oval instead of taking the time to properly mask around the hair

jeb haus@drjeb· Oct 17

the INTOLERANT left doesn’t want this beautiful Charlie Kirnk memorial statue on the Ave Marina University campus in Florida. SHARE TO SHAME THEM #shame