Madame Duck (@duckface) · DIRTY

Madame Duck

@duckface

Perpetual lurker. Expert procrastinator. Mainly replies to cat posts.

415 Following600 Followers2,808 Posts

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Madame Duck@duckface· 18d

Madame Duck@duckface· Jul 26

It's finally raining and this pigeon is taking the opportunity to have a shower.

Pigeon on a flat roof lifting up a wing in the rain to wash it's wing pit (if that's the right term).

Madame Duck@duckface· Jul 22

Gertcha by Chas & Dave

Madame Duck@duckface· Jul 7

We even have a tiny violin for occasions like this

Madame Duck@duckface· Jun 19

I can see this man's future

Mr Creosote

Madame Duck@duckface· May 27

She sounds charming.

Madame Duck@duckface· May 20

"Think back to your childhood. Do you remember when the anxiety started?"

Madame Duck@duckface· May 14

Bloody hell. It's Big Coat weather again.

Madame Duck@duckface· May 10

This dog has 3 beds but her favourite place to lie is blocking the doorway.

A large white fluffy dog lies across a doorway with her head wedged against the door.

Madame Duck@duckface· May 2

Madame Duck@duckface· Apr 30

I want this car sticker

Madame Duck@duckface· Apr 26

Right. This poor lamb looks so traumatised.

A not at all traumatised influencer pouts her thanks to the Secret Service.

Madame Duck@duckface· Apr 4

Oh no it isn't

Madame Duck@duckface· Mar 24

My @effinbirds.com calendar is on the nose

Madame Duck@duckface· Mar 21

Life has been extremely stressful and overwhelming lately, so I'm really grateful for the laugh caused by my new glasses case (n.b. I am in no way a gold glittery person). Youngest child recoiled in horror.

An utterly ridiculous gold spangly case for spectacles. It looks like a very small clutch bag.

Madame Duck@duckface· Mar 19

Lu wasn't served breakfast at the correct time so she agrees with Daphne's decision.

A large sulking fluffy white dog.

Madame Duck@duckface· Mar 11

@themerl.bsky.social "Look at this absolute unit here..." You've clearly got a fan on the BBC News crew.

Madame Duck@duckface· Feb 19

She wasn't happy because I had been sitting on her chair.

Madame Duck@duckface· Feb 18

From the same thread. If you're genuinely keeping tabs on that many people (excluding caring responsibilities) you've got serious control issues.

Madame Duck@duckface· Feb 18

Fuck. Off.

Madame Duck@duckface· Feb 16

Someone wasn't happy that the post breakfast nap was interrupted.

A large fluffy white dog lying on a dog bed.

Madame Duck@duckface· Feb 14

Sun dog

Madame Duck@duckface· Feb 12

These stupid customer surveys are getting even more ridiculous.

A customer satisfaction survey asking how easy it was to book a service. A service that hasn't happened yet. Idiots.

Madame Duck@duckface· Feb 5

Realised that it was time to renew my #proofofcat

A black cat curled up on a cushion.

Madame Duck@duckface· Jan 25

I don't have a cat to fuss but I do have a large sulking Lulu who will graciously accept fusses.

A large fluffy white husky cross lying on her bed. She is very unimpressed with you, BlueSky.

Madame Duck@duckface· Jan 22

Yes, they do think we're 5

The horror that is pickled onion Monster Munch flavoured mayonnaise.

Madame Duck@duckface· Jan 9

I was strangely sad when this became obsolete

London A to Z street map

Madame Duck@duckface· Jan 8

Aloof. Sleeps a lot. Fussy about food. Definitely channeling her inner cat.

Madame Duck@duckface· Jan 8

If it's measured using one of these, we're in trouble

Madame Duck@duckface· Jan 4

Exhibit no.1

Two actors pretending to be scientists peering into a microscope. They can't possibly see anything useful as the scene is lit with a pathetically small desk lamp.