Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate

@elchefe

BJJ practitioner and teacher, empathetic technology advocate. Neurospicy, mentally ill, and unapologetic. Black/Latino, nonbinary (they/them) , pan/poly. spüße müße. Opinions are my own. EN/SP/PT

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Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Jun 7

I had a dream the other night that @lookitup.baby borrowed my cat (as one does) Bentley and when they brought Bentley back, Ian was singing his praises and calling him a very good cat and I woke up beaming with pride. Ian, if you ever want to borrow Bentley, I’m happy to make arrangements.

A gloriously round and distinguished tuxedo cat named Bentley sits loaf-style at the center of a small wooden coffee table, commanding the frame with the quiet confidence of a CEO who owns every room he enters. His plush coat is a dapper patchwork of jet black and bright white — black across his back and head like a little cape, with a pristine white chest and belly that he wears with tremendous pride. His face is particularly charming: soft white with dark markings above his wide-set, golden-green eyes that give him a permanently thoughtful, slightly philosophical expression, as if he is pondering something very important (likely dinner). His little pink nose is a perfect button. His white paws are tucked neatly beneath his considerable belly in classic loaf formation — the pose of a cat who is both deeply relaxed and mildly suspicious. Long white whiskers fan out magnificently on either side of his face. In the softly blurred background, Kim, a young woman with auburn hair twisted up in a casual bun and wearing glasses and a cozy black hoodie, sits barefoot on the couch with a laptop, attending to presumably very important business — though Bentley has clearly already decided that HE is the most important business in this room. A lavender tumbler with a straw stands on the left side of the table, a loyal sidekick to the star of the show.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Jun 6

Aubrey has been training since she was 4. Now at 16, she’s a force of nature. Fast, great pressure, good strategy, and always learning. Getting to roll with her today and talk through nuances is such a joy for me as her father but also as someone who is a fan of her journey. 📷: @abgushte.bsky.social

In a bright, industrial-style BJJ gym with exposed concrete ceilings and gray competition mats, a teenage girl sits on the mat in a red rash guard and olive green leggings, bare feet tucked beneath her, arms extended openly mid-conversation — the body language of someone making a point with relaxed certainty. Facing her, close enough to whisper, is her father: a stocky, curly-haired person in a white and teal Scramble “Senshu” rash guard and gray shorts, kneeling with their back to the camera. Around the edges of the room, other practitioners sit and watch quietly against white brick walls, a small American flag bunting visible in the background.

And yet the image is less about jiu-jitsu and more about this: a black belt leaning in to offer the kind of razor-thin insight that only thousands of hours on the mat can produce — not to fix anything broken, but to sharpen something already formidable. She listens with the relaxed attention of someone who’s heard hard things before and made them look easy. It’s the rarest kind of coaching conversation: two people who both actually know what they’re talking about, except one of them is still in high school. Her father will offer the detail. She’ll nod, try it, and make it her own. Dad will watch — and feel that particular pride that has no good word for it.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· May 20

I love being able to share the mat with @abgushte.bsky.social as she is on her jiujitsu journey. I do my best not to stick my nose in unless she asks me, and when she does, it’s a treat to share a part of me that I love with a woman a love so deeply.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· May 8

I feel like I’ve pretty much perfected stovetop tadhig at this point

A golden crown of Persian rice glory, unmolded and triumphant on a white plate: a tahdig so perfectly crisped it appears to have been forged rather than cooked. The top surface gleams like burnished amber, a mosaic of caramelized rice grains ranging from deep toffee-brown at the center to warm honeyed gold at the edges — the unmistakable badge of a cook who did not lift the lid too soon. The sides reveal fluffy white basmati beneath, still clinging together in dignified formation, with the faintest whisper of saffron yellow threading through like buried treasure. A kitchen towel peeks in from the lower left, the unsung hero who absorbed the steam and kept the dream alive. In the soft-focus background, a small ceramic dish stands witness, humbled.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Apr 23

Give me a good reason why I shouldn’t 😍😍😍😍

A Music Man StingRay bass guitar poses like royalty against a soft gray gradient backdrop — its body drenched in amethyst sparkle finish that catches the light like crushed gemstones pressed into purple velvet. A sweeping pearloid pickguard curves across the body like a crescent moon, cradling a single humbucker pickup. Gold hardware glints at the tuning pegs, bridge, and control plate, lending the whole instrument the air of something that belongs behind velvet rope. The roasted maple neck rises into a distinctive headstock bearing the StingRay script, while the rosewood fretboard runs straight and true from nut to body. Four strings await, carrying the DNA of a lineage that ran through Louis “Thunder Thumbs” Johnson’s funk-soaked slap lines and Flea’s untamed red-hot basslines — this is the instrument that helped define what electric bass could be. This particular StingRay rests on its stand in regal purple, patient and luminous, ready to make the low end shake.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Apr 4

Okay, so I love the aesthetic of these that you highlighted, but I’m shaped like a corgi 😞😞 and designers have, by and large, told me to take a hike. Are bespoke garments my only option?

A person with dark wavy hair and facial hair stands in a minimalist hallway wearing a plum-toned wool suit with a relaxed silhouette. The oversized blazer is paired with a rust-colored silk shirt worn unbuttoned at the collar, creating a deliberately undone aesthetic. Matching wide-leg trousers sit at the hip with a subtle pleat, and the look is completed with black leather loafers. One hand rests casually in a pocket while they lean against a white wall beside an architectural glass-paned door, embodying a moody, contemplative ’70s-inspired tailoring moment.

An older person wearing glasses sits at a wooden table beside a window overlooking a building with bright yellow tiling. They’re dressed in a cream-colored wool blazer over a light blue dress shirt, paired with a tan and rust geometric-patterned tie. Their posture is composed and dignified, with one hand resting on the table near a white cup of coffee and a glass of water. A kelly green wall provides a striking backdrop, creating a professional, editorial quality to the portrait.

A person with a full black beard and voluminous natural hair stands at night holding an umbrella, wearing a burnt-orange tailored blazer layered over a textured rust-toned shirt and a multicolored patterned scarf in gold and brown tones. The tailored trousers match the blazer, creating a monochromatic warm-toned look. The nighttime urban setting and dramatic lighting emphasize the richness of the earth-toned color palette and the precision of the vintage-inspired menswear styling.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Apr 4

😍🥹😍🥹😍🥹 @abgushte.bsky.social

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Apr 4

Appreciation post for my dear friend Kayle. We went to the ball last night with @abgushte.bsky.social. When I was rebuilding my life after my suicide attempt, Kayle was the first friend I made, quite by happenstance, as I was waiting at a coffee shop between therapy appointments.

Two people close together, bathed in vivid purple and blue neon light, share a joyful moment at the vogue ball—Kayle with dark hair and a warm smile, and Tim with a full beard and curly hair pulled back, their faces luminous with affection and delight as they celebrate together beneath the glowing industrial architecture overhead.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Mar 26

It looks like everyone’s OpenAI & Anthropic credits are starting to expire lately by the number of startups out here like “we need to cut our inference costs!” Proving that time is a flat circle, we are having the “we can’t afford a managed service but we don’t have an ops team” conversation again

A dapper gentleman in top hat and tails with an enormous mustache, pockets turned out and hands spread wide in resignation, captioned: ‘Me realizing my free OpenAI credits expired and I actually have to pay per token now

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Mar 23

The irony is **RICH**

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Mar 15

This is fucking insane

Daily weather forecast showing three days: Today with partly cloudy skies and high of 97°F, low of 39°F, 0% chance of precipitation; Monday 16th with windy conditions, high of 55°F, low of 34°F, 1% chance of precipitation; Tuesday 17th with sunny skies, high of 67°F, low of 45°F, 0% chance of precipitation

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Mar 12

I don’t know how much of a thirst trap this is, but I did want to highlight the fact that I did t get my first pair of “dad” glasses until 50.

Tim strikes a contemplative pose in their selfie, one hand artfully adjusting transparent glasses that frame their thoughtful gaze. Their glorious gray beard and textured hair catch the light, while a pop of hot pink from a nearby pillow adds a dash of personality to the scene

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Mar 6

This is 50 😊😊

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Feb 22

Saturdays are for snuggles with the boys 📷: @abgushte.bsky.social

Two grapplers engage in a floor-level philosophical debate, with one making a very convincing argument using their arms. The bearded scholar in the leopard-print rashguard with hair piled magnificently atop their head like a curly crown appears to have won the discussion, as their sparring partner can no longer form counterarguments. In the background, a third philosopher contemplates their life choices in the fetal position. The mats are dark, the stakes are high, and someone is definitely tapping soon

A Brazilian jiu-jitsu training session on dark foam mats. In the foreground, a muscular nonbinary person with a gray beard and curly hair pulled up into a bun is wearing a black and leopard-print rashguard. They are kneeling over a second person who is on their stomach, pinned face-down to the mat with their back taken — a dominant BJJ control position in which the person on top wraps around their opponent from behind. The person on the bottom is wearing a black rashguard. Natural light streams in through large windows in the background, where a second pair of practitioners can be seen on the mat, one curled low over the other. The overall atmosphere is that of an active grappling class.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Feb 6

I should not have been informed of the existence of the Stealth Arms Platypus. Fully customizable 1911/2011 that can be configured to to take Glock 17 or P320 mags and these two customized ones are under $2k. 😍😍😍😍

Stealth Arms Platypus 1911 pistol in two-tone configuration with white lower frame and black slide, featuring textured black grip panels, red trigger, fiber optic sights, and accessory rail beneath the barrel

Stealth Arms Platypus 1911 pistol in red and black color scheme with red slide featuring carbon fiber texture panels, black lower frame, textured black grip with red accents, red trigger, fiber optic sights, and accessory rail

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Jan 28

Picked up a Springfield Echelon full size with thumb safety & Viridian 3moa green dot (although with my astigmatism, it’s more like 8moa 😆) and sighted in today. Def a good shooter for a good price. Trigger is about as good as any other in its price range (Glock, M&P, etc) so pretty pleased overall

A 100-yard rifle target showing three groupings of bullet holes with purple circles drawn around them. The top left grouping is labeled ‘Getting my zero at 5 yds’ and shows tight clustering near the center bullseye. The top right grouping is labeled ‘More getting my zero at 5yds’ with similar tight grouping. The center grouping is labeled ‘105 rounds at 15yds’ with a note ‘don’t worry about this lil guy’ and shows a larger, more scattered pattern with visible damage to the paper target. The target has red diamond-shaped bullseyes and a numbered grid system from 0-6 in both directions.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Jan 27

He could start by using his position as it was intended

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Jan 23

Soaking up the sun with @abgushte.bsky.social in Nassau before we go and freeze our tails off in Texas

Two sun-kissed beachgoers share a joyful selfie against a dreamy turquoise ocean backdrop, where clouds dance across the sky and gentle waves kiss the shore. She wears tortoiseshell glasses and pulls her wind-tousled hair into a casual top knot, while her partner sports a salt-and-pepper beard that perfectly complements their warm smile. Their embrace captures that golden vacation feeling when the sea breeze is perfect, the water is impossibly blue, and happiness is as abundant as the grains of sand beneath their feet.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Jan 9

My ex kept the dogs after our divorce because she kept the house. She never let me spend any time with them either. No walks, no time at the park, nothing. She put my older dog down this morning and I found out on my daughter’s Instagram story. Rest well Gladys Whitley Banks. I miss you every day.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Dec 28

Got myself a Shoyoroll gi for Christmas. I’ve never had one before but def have had my eye on one. While it is the most expensive off-the-rack gi I’ve had, it fits like my custom gis at half the price. Def gonna be a lifetime customer. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A distinguished martial artist with a magnificent salt-and-pepper beard and gravity-defying topknot strikes a contemplative pose in their crisp white gi. The black belt cinched at their waist speaks of dedication and discipline, while the Shoyoroll patches add a splash of crimson flair. Armed with their trusty phone-camera and barefoot warrior stance, they capture this mirror selfie moment of pre-training preparedness—where the ancient art of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu meets the modern art of the perfect selfie angle.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Dec 28

I wanted to take a moment to gush about my partner @hazelweakly.me who I can’t ever not be in awe of. She’s brilliant, talented, so funny and melts me with her beauty. She’s so loving and supportive of me and @abgushte.bsky.social and I miss her dearly (but I’ll see her in ‘26)

Hazel poses elegantly in a shimmering mauve sequined dress with statement rhinestone chandelier earrings and matching collar necklace. Her soft brown hair cascades over one shoulder in loose waves, and she wears a sophisticated burgundy lip that complements her classic Old Hollywood glamour look.

Full-length mirror selfie of Hazel in a stunning floor-length sequined gown in dusty mauve tones. The dress features long sleeves and a dramatic thigh-high slit, paired with the same dazzling rhinestone jewelry set. She stands confidently in what appears to be an elegant hotel hallway with geometric wall paneling.

A tender moment between partners: Tim, with distinctive gray-toned hair styled up top and a gray beard wears a cozy dark blue knit sweater, while Hazel leans in close to kiss their cheek. The warm kitchen setting with wood cabinetry creates an intimate, loving atmosphere captured in soft natural light.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Dec 25

First time eating out for Christmas ever and it was faaaaaaantastic

A beaming diner with a magnificent cloud of curly hair and a salt-and-pepper beard sits before an elaborate Peking duck spread on a wooden board. They’re wearing a festive black shirt with colorful floral embroidery, chopsticks poised in anticipation. The duck has been expertly carved into glistening slices, surrounded by a rainbow of accompaniments: julienned cucumbers standing at attention like little green soldiers, julienned scallions, vibrant orange picked ginger strips, and various dipping sauces in small black dishes. The warm restaurant glows with holiday cheer in the background, complete with red decorations and ambient lighting. This is clearly a Christmas celebration where traditions take a delicious detour to Beijing

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Dec 20

Some cool vintage store finds from this afternoon that would be cool pickups for a small framed person. Jacket is a XS/00. Boots are women’s 6. If anyone is interested I can go and pick them up. Maybe @lookitup.baby ?

Cream-colored genuine leather aviator jacket with oversized white shearling collar, displayed on a hanger in a thrift store. The moto-style jacket features an asymmetric zip closure, multiple zippered pockets with black trim, and a fitted silhouette.

Back view of cream-colored genuine leather aviator jacket showing detailed topstitching and paneled construction. The jacket has a thick white shearling collar, adjustable waist buckles at the hem, and displays natural leather grain texture. The structured back features multiple seams creating a tailored fit.

Pair of Dr. Martens combat boots featuring a vibrant botanical floral print with pink roses, orange flowers, yellow daisies, and green ferns on a light background. The ankle-height boots have black laces, brass eyelets, and the signature yellow stitching on the air-cushioned sole.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Dec 19

Oh boy

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Dec 11

They really need to stop having conferences in the US

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Nov 20

If you didn’t get to hear my keynote this morning, you missed a fuckin’ banger

Here’s whimsical and descriptive alt text for this image:

A speaker in a vibrant floral-embroidered vest commands the TEDx stage, microphone in hand and gesturing mid-thought, beneath a glowing screen that reads “PROLOGUE: JACK WELCH AND THE SINGULARITY OF ENSHITTIFICATION” in cyan letters against a deep purple-blue gradient. The conference name, red “rvetech” letters sprawl across the front of the stage like corporate hieroglyphics, while colorful orbs—red, blue, and green—dangle overhead like disco balls at a technology apocalypse. A clear acrylic lectern stands sentinel nearby, and the whole scene is bathed in theatrical lighting that suggests this talk is about to get delightfully weird about capitalism and tech culture.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Nov 16

I agree, and further, I propose that we solve this by abolishing private companies

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Nov 16

I found @blowdart.me favorite dessert cups

Four Heinz Beanz Snap Pots in their turquoise packaging, positioned like artifacts in a museum dedicated to Barry’s great bean obsession—single-serve portions of pure British comfort, ready to be consumed with the reverence they deserve.

Tim Banks: VibeRel Advocate@elchefe· Nov 15

Made tagine and tadhig rice and berry cobbler for @abgushte.bsky.social and her family today. First time meeting them this week and I think they like me and my cooking 😊😊