Emperor Snapper

@emperorsnapper

A fish with a crown

981 Following451 Followers2,597 Posts

Bluesky

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Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· 21d

I don't believe we should be creating religions based around the worship of kitchen appliances

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· 22d

This guy understands Clausewitz about as well as Otto understood Buddhism

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· 24d

The feeling that hits approximately 2 hours in to The Odyssey:

The "say what again" scene from Pulp Fiction, with Jules pointing his gun at Brett and yelling, "Say Sea Peoples again, motherfucker!"

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· 28d

(Ben Grimm voice) IT'S PICKLIN TIME! (really wasn't sure if these cucumber plants were going to work, and suddenly there were 3 giant pre-pickles out there today)

Cucumbers, grown by my own hand like some kind of wizard.

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· 28d

Look, no one should dress up in a Nazi uniform and goose step through a school, but is it possible to bring discredit to the Chicago PD? They avg $60mm a year in misconduct settlements. Even the "Chicago Police Torture Archive" only covers a small slice of their malfeasance. invisible.institute/cpta

“The uniform, march and salute created the impression that the individual was evoking Nazi Germany,” bringing discredit to the police department, according to the first quarterly report released by Inspector General David Glockner.

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· 28d

A political aide attempts to negotiate a settlement between competing factions in the hospitality industry, leading to a realignment in the local governmental power structure.

Describe your favorite movie as boring as possible

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· Jul 13

@jeffabbott.bsky.social This arrived unexpectedly in the mail today. I recall buying it because someone on here recommended it, but I do not recall who, so you can chalk this sale up to a secret admirer or something. Looking forward to reading it!

January and July, a Thriller by Jeff Abbott. I have never read anything by Jeff Abbott, but he seems to have been a Sam Neill fan so he must be doing something right.

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· Jul 12

It's not just that people around the country are celebrating Lindsey Graham's death, but that it is being treated as a consolation prize. Truly a "who's this clown" moment in death.

Classic is a ghost post:

"Most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· Jul 10

Reminds me of the Greg Maddux quote about Tony Gwynn, who hit .415 off him and never once struck out

Sometimes hitters can pick up differences in spin. They can identify pitches if there are different releases points or if a curveball starts with an upward hump as it leaves the pitcher’s hand. But if a pitcher can change speeds, every hitter is helpless, limited by human vision. 'Except,' Maddux said, 'for that [EXPLETIVE] Tony Gwynn

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· Jul 8

I laughed when I saw the splash screen after my game

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· Jul 7

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· Jul 6

Coming up this Saturday

The battle of Stamford Bridge, September 25 1066. Norway v England.

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· Jul 4

My wife & I at the Henry Kissinger Memorial Kissing Booth ( not pictured: the sign that says "Rest in Piss")

Old geezers kissing in the kissing booth. Rest in piss, Kissinger.

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· Jun 28

It will always be hilarious to me that Mr. Authentic Language remade a classic German Expressionist horror film and had all the German characters running around Germany and Eastern Europe speaking English with British accents.

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· Jun 28

The Handmaiden is Park Chan-Wook's best film.

That Norman Rockwell dude standing up at a meeting to give an unpopular opinion.

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· Jun 17

Name a TV show you're positive no one remembers but you

An ad for the TV series Second Chance (later renamed Boys will be Boys), about a guy who dies and then is sent back in time to mentor his teenage self, played by Matthew Perry. The guy in the background is Joseph Maher, who portrayed St. Peter. The dead adult version of Perry was played by Kiel Martin, and Randee Heller played his mom. No one watched this show, but it did manage to predict the death of Gaddafi within a couple of months (the show aired in 1987 and joked that he would die in 2011)

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· Jun 14

Jesus Christ, calm down Bruno

"Chapter Seven:

They took the Baron's hunting car for the rendezvous with Hercule. It was one of the few vehicles that ever aroused Bruno to pure, burning lust."

Goddamn Bruno, it's just a car. Wait, "one of the FEW vehicles" that aroused "pure, burning lust"?

Does Bruno get horny for several different cars?

Emperor Snapper@emperorsnapper· Jun 11

I was talking to someone about the Tigers the other day because of the memorabilia wall in my office, and when I was 13 & they won in 84 I assumed they would keep winning them.