Evan Birnholz
@evanbirnholz
I write crosswords for The Washington Post. I also like cereal.
ChatGPT, show me literally *the* perfect image of how billionaire tech overlords think of children not as human beings to love and care for but as inconveniences for AI to deal with (and show me *the* perfect reply to one of those billionaires):
Seeing an EMU at the zoo is basically a religious experience at this point.
I'm sure everyone thinks LeBron is picking the Sixers because of Embiid or Jaylen Brown or Maxey or the city itself but the true reason is he wanted the chance to play with another D. Wade.
Well it's frustrating that the #Cubs lost a game when they came back from 4 runs down and had a golden chance to win it in the 9th, but on the plus side the sound on my video screwed up and made the play-by-play guy Alex Cohen sound like a demon, so there's that.
Argentina attempting to win a World Cup final without attempting a single shot:
We all remember and love the late Sam Neill in "Jurassic Park" but an underrated great one-off role of his was as Molloy the cat burglar on "The Simpsons." There was something strange about the way he walked, much more vertical than usual.
A friend of mine's Twitter account got hacked and whoever took it over turned it into a fake user "protecting" Elon Musk from impersonators (and retweeting Musk's posts). Because commtting cybercrimes and posting embarrassing flattery for the world's biggest loser is just what that website needs.
Harry Kane praising Trump's golf game // My reaction to Harry Kane praising Trump's golf game, basically.
This weekend's Washington Post Sunday crossword is a big one (23x23 squares) and it has a meta. I think if you can figure it out, you might like it. As they say, go big or go home. Actually I'd recommend that you go big and stay home because damn it's hot outside.
Let's hear it for some of history's greatest Papas: Shango, Smurf, Bear Halas, and Don't Preach.
When you're asked who played the mom in "Mr. Mom" during a trivia game and you're stuck between Teri Garr and Teri Polo and you pick Teri Polo:
Over on the other site people are getting mad at this post. I feel confident that the USMNT did better playing soccer today than these guys did picking up sarcasm.
The number of goals that the USMNT scored in the first half and what those goals cost:
Knicks fans' reaction in the first half of Game 4 / Spurs fans' reaction in the second half of Game 4
Non-Knicks fans wondering when they're ever going to lose again in the playoffs:
This part seems the most pathetic. Did she, as a journalist, not spend years or decades not having AI and still being able to write and think without it?
Me, realizing that the Cubs' two ten-game winning streaks were like 75 years ago: "The #Cubs can't possibly lose again, can they?" The Cubs:
"Man, James Harden once again playing badly in a game 7, 2 for 8 with just 9 points by the 4th quarter, just sad." *listens to earpiece* "I would like to apologize to James Harden and the Cavs for my comments, please carry on."