Failgoat

@failgoat

It seems I am not yet accustomed to my new primal form

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Failgoat@failgoat· 22d

Tyler, the Creator making a face of utter disgust

Failgoat@failgoat· 23d

four years ago today we brought this beautiful idiot home

Penny the dog, a medium-sized mutt, white with black spots and big floppy ears. She’s sitting on a couch looking up at the camera grinning a big dopey dog grin

Failgoat@failgoat· 25d

also we have a mutt who we strongly suspect has some dalmatian blood

Penny the dog—a medium-sized mutt, white with black spots, big floppy ears, and just the sweetest face—laying on a couch with her front paws crossed because she is a classy lassy

Failgoat@failgoat· 26d

Failgoat@failgoat· Jul 14

I am also interested in a review, as I am just finishing this

a copy of the book RAVEN: THE UNTOLD STORY OF THE REV. JIM JONES AND HIS PEOPLE by Tim Reiterman and John Jacobs laying on a bed

Failgoat@failgoat· Jun 14

Michelangelo looking stunned and horrified

Failgoat@failgoat· Jun 14

Failgoat@failgoat· Jun 8

Jon Taffer making an absurdly exaggerated expression of disgust

Failgoat@failgoat· Jun 1

Once polished off a box of this shit in 24 hours. My parents were extremely pissed because a.) they loved it too and b.) a 13.5 oz box cost like $4 in 1996

Failgoat@failgoat· May 31

at the end of every Disney+ show, they list the voice cast in all the other languages the show is available in. distracting myself from my kids’ daily Phineas and Ferb marathon by going down a very entertaining rabbit hole

Failgoat@failgoat· May 25

Failgoat@failgoat· May 7

@erikstrobl.bsky.social took the kids to our local comic shop and saw this

a denim jacket, rear side facing you, with a stylized Jackie Gleason face and “The Honeymooners” emblazoned on it

Failgoat@failgoat· May 3

Screenshot of a crudely made meme reading “If you were raised on bologna, drank Pepsi, played in the bologna, got your butt drank, & had 3 pickup trucks, & had an outside hose, & school started with ‘The Spank,’ had a pickup truck, rode in back of the creek, & recorded songs from the antenna, using The Hose, & drank Pepsi from a hose in the creek, said sir and radio... and you still turned out OK, say damn right!”

Failgoat@failgoat· Apr 26

Failgoat@failgoat· Apr 6

[literally catatonic with terror] oh wow

While the first astronauts landing on the Moon did not see the stars too well, Michael Collins sat alone in the command module and drifted behind the dark side of the Moon. There, completely cut off from communications with any other human, he at least had a spectacular view.

"I feel this powerfully – not as fear or loneliness – but as awareness, anticipation, satisfaction, confidence, almost exultation. I like the feeling," he wrote in his 1974 book Carrying The Fire. "Outside my window I can see stars – and that is all. Where I know the Moon to be, there is simply a black void; the Moon’s presence is defined solely by the absence of stars."

Failgoat@failgoat· Feb 27

Michael Bluth reacting to finding a dead dove in a bag in the refrigerator, about to say “I don’t know what I expected”

Failgoat@failgoat· Feb 26

the cover of Big Bear’s DOIN THANGS, featuring the titular rapper sitting at a table covered in champagne on ice and various berries, wearing a smoking jacket and cravat, and surrounded by bears wearing smoking jackets and sunglasses. it fucking rules

Failgoat@failgoat· Feb 25

left my headphones at home and had to rawdog 75 minutes at the gym

Failgoat@failgoat· Feb 24

Frinkiac screenshot of Milhouse yelling at Bart with the caption “‘Invalid! Invalid!’ They’ll all say!”

Failgoat@failgoat· Feb 18

this is very funny, but in context it’s even better. as a lifelong Jets fan, this is maybe the most succinct description of this cesspool of a team I’ve ever read

The Jets are the male loneliness epidemic in football form. They are no longer even pretending to try to remain competitive. They plan to just goon around with their mock draft simulators for the next two years. It’s Moneyball, but for anti-intellectuals. It’s almost too pathetic to be funny.

Failgoat@failgoat· Feb 14

bonus: this gave rise to an all-time top-5 tweet

screenshot of a tweet by @emmaroller from 6/27/2020: it’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right / I hope you have some cheese for my wife

Failgoat@failgoat· Feb 13

when Hello Fresh sends you burgers and tells you to pan-fry them but it’s 46 and sunny out

Failgoat@failgoat· Jan 30

screenshot from the Washington video linked above. Washington casually reads a newspaper as a kid in redcoat is mauled by a lion

Failgoat@failgoat· Jan 25

that tweet about JD Vance being a Tumbler wokescold but from the right is so dead-on. the Cernovich tweet is semantically indistinguishable from this classic

A screenshot of a quote tweet. The original tweet: “Anyways, y’all know that this means don’t buy any Kellogg’s products. Stand in solidarity with Kellogg’s workers and don’t cross the picket line, no matter what.” The quote: “hi, someone with heavy food sensory issues here! frosted mini-wheats are one of the only things I can actually consume regularly and not get sick from. guilting people who can’t support boycotts is ableist as fuck but y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.”

Failgoat@failgoat· Jan 25

Every time I read some media elite patting themselves on the back for showing up to the party a decade late (and sneering at anyone who showed up on time), I think of this phenomenal @albertburneko.bsky.social piece and how dead-on it was: defector.com/nation-rejec...

A miserable pattern in this country's political and media economy is how it has evolved to treat boobish credulity and outright wrongness as verifying credentials—as not just valid, but affirmatively authentic and real. So like, for example, to have opposed the Iraq War from the very beginning doesn't mean that you were right about the war, which turned out to be exactly the moral and geopolitical horror its earliest critics knew it would be; instead, it only means you were a naive ideologue, reflexively opposed to the kind of Tough, Muscular Foreign-Policy demanded in These Complex Times. Having been right about the war from the beginning, if anything, disqualifies anything you had to say about it after: Well, of course you think it was a mistake; you would. The correct thing to have been, it turns out, and the key to being granted the license to speak authoritatively from a high public perch in advance of future needless conflicts, was a booster in the run-up to the war who later came to regard its prosecution as botched. That is sobriety and wisdom. To be wrong in an obvious and odious way, and later to sort of acknowledge your wrongness, if not quite own or—heaven forfend—learn from it.

Failgoat@failgoat· Jan 24

A sign held aloft at a protest on a highway overpass. The sign is neon green posterboard. Written on it in red and black marker is “Kristi Noem Is A Bird Legged Ho”

Failgoat@failgoat· Jan 24

Ellis from Die Hard holding a walkie-talkie and giving a thumbs up while flashing the shit-eatingest grin of all time

Failgoat@failgoat· Jan 17

Failgoat@failgoat· Jan 7