Sanjeev Kohli
@govindajeggy
Navid in Still Game, Synthesiser Patel in Look Around You, Ramesh in @FagsMagsandBags and dynamite in a boob tube. Work enquires: MacCormick@Curtisbrown.co.uk
A LOT of chat about the game tonight & who Scottish football fans should support. I personally have other priorities. Like congratulating my cousin & his wife on their 20th wedding anniversary. All the best Arj & Tina!
When Whitesnake threw parties, Jon Lord was put in charge of snacks, Ian Paice looked after the spirits, and David covered ale
A special #FathersDay mention to Paw Broon for raising all those kids like they were his own
40 years ago my dad went out for "a pint of milk". He came back 20 minutes later with Coffee-mate. THE BASTARD. #FathersDay
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. A dog is a man's best friend. So Diamond Dogs is everyone's favourite album. NICELY PLAYED MR BOWIE
Happy birthday to Paul McCartney who is 84 today, but thinks he is 73 because he ACTUALLY believes there are eight days a week
Item 5434/2029 in the latest Argos catalogue IS the latest Argos catalogue. It's a philosophical conundrum
Great news, religions! Christianity is finally allowing access to and use of John the Baptist under a new prophet-sharing scheme.
My favourite restaurant. You don’t have to order anything. Food just comes to you. Food you DESERVE
That’s me just back from the parallel universe where Captain Beefheart is the face of fishfingers and Captain Birdseye was an avant-garde multi-instrumentalist
That's me finally got my organ donor card. So one of you lucky people will be getting a Yamaha with a broken bossanova function
The return of the tanga briefs has meant I have managed to smuggle thirty endangered budgies out of Madagascar. ONE AT A TIME.
Because of The Union of the Snake, Simon le Bon has never & will never be bitten by a snake. He is the reason that all snakes get dental insurance comfort breaks every three hours
'Five Alive' was such a positive name for a fruit juice. It was nearly called '140 Missing Presumed Dead'
Vincent Price was taller than Alan Price. Who is taller than Katie Price. According to this Price comparison website
Ask me anything - absolutely ANYTHING - about Dermot O’Leary or Dermot Murnaghan. I’m a fully qualified dermotologist
Thanks to AI there will be an entire generation who think the world is a Meatloaf album cover
Demi Moore & Demi Lovato have finally met. They're both said to now feel "complete"
I do like Angel Delight, but can’t help feeling it’s a stretch that it would actually delight an angel. Here are some alternatives: Fairy Satisfaction Pixie Ambivalence Unicorn Indifference
What's your favourite culinary miniaturisation of a city? I can't decide between Mini Kyiv & Viennetta
Johnny Hates Jazz started a race riot at my school. The irony was that Johnny & Jaswinder were actually good friends
“Yoyo Dieter” accurately describes my weigh loss journey. It was also my name in 80s German hiphop circles
Can't help feeling Miss Dynamite would have been an international superstar by now if she'd had had a more airport-friendly name.
Dave Gahan is violently allergic to French peaches. When they tour there the band has to go into de-pêche mode
You want to have seen Mona Lisa when I told her she'd left her hair straighteners on. Her face was a picture
Fleetwood Mac had a long-running golf-based feud with Abba, & released Albatross as a direct response to Eagle
I invented my own font once. Sold the rights to someone for £50. He's now a multi-millionaire. I CURSE THE DAY I met Richard Wingdings