Captain Clownpants

@gunfucker

dw chat im doing a bit

559 Following209 Followers1,413 Posts

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Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Jul 2

wait, you didn't take me serious, did you?

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Jun 15

guys im gonna be so frfr im not a real tran bc ive never seen this show is that good

Neon Genesis Evangelion Test

Results:

You are most like Kaworu Nagisa (80%)

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Jun 9

3 plaques. They read:
Plaque 1: Tornado Memorial Park. Established by Door County in November, 1927. Through trial and tribulation, in poverty and loneliness, in cold and fire, the pioneers struggled that their children might gain a competence

Plaque 2: Here was the village of Williamsonville with a population of 77 persons on October 8, 1871, this village was blotted out by a tornado of fire. 60 persons sought refuge in an open field surrounding this spot and were burned to death.

Plaque 3: The following is a list of the dead:
AT WILLIAMSON'S MILL
Joseph Married, wife and three children.
Nelson Dimrow, wife and two children.
Michael Adams, wife and three children.
John Williamson, wife and one child.
Jos. Marcoix, wife and two children.
James Willoamson and wife.
Mrs. Buckland and two children.
Unknown French woman and two children.
Thomas Crane, Thomas Whelan, John O'Conners, Dan Nicholson, Chas. Duncan, Frank Borway, Emery Jarvis, Jason Williamson, John Conlan, George Buckland, Unknown woman, J. Williamson, Sr., Henry Jarvis, James Whelan, Maggie Williamson, James Donlan, Freddy Williamson, Mike Rogan, Maggie O'Neil, John Ahearn, Patrick Ahearn, Frank Donlan, Charles Weinbeck, Louis Longley, Peter Bordway, Maggie Heaney, Joseph Verbonker, Unknown woman.
Four unknown bodies found in the woods/river.

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Jun 4

Utah is crazy they got flying hypodermic needles out there

A screenie of the Wikipedia article for Tarantula Hawk

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Jun 2

Telling my rhinoplasty surgeon I want to look like this

A proboscis monkey, a species of monkey with a comically oversized nose

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· May 31

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK U AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Your result:

trans guy who is absolutely CARRYING a dead fandom

this might seem too oddly specific even for me but listen my life has been saved by this exact kind of guy too many times to not include it. your fandom has 30 fics on ao3 and you wrote 22 of them (bonus points if you write good smut despite being asexual). you're on tumblr, twitter, tiktok, fucking *pinterest* practically evangelizing about a show that ended 20 years ago or a video game only a thousand people every played. and you're doing god's work, soldier.

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· May 12

I don't even have any skin in the game with this account, tbh idk them from Adam, but how can you take this shit seriously. It would be laughable if there were anything funny about it. Utterly jokerfying

A screenshot of the Bsky bans bot showing the account @1-900.fatboy.delivery being unsuspended and then resuspended literally less than 60 seconds later

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· May 2

was going to post this as a shitpost, but then I realized it's just straightforwardly true

anti-woke is just doing the opposite of whatever the homosexuals do. faggots like me shit out our butt, so naturally that means conservatives have to shit out their mouths

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· May 2

shit that's right you're not millenial enough to know

the sweet bro and hella jeff stairs comic. iykyk

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Apr 28

found a third!

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Apr 27

so partner and I are storm chasing today. they said we're going to cuba, missouri. i said "if you do, please don't stop in florida." they laughed at the joke but said they don't think there's a florida, missouri, so i looked it up, and chat,

a screenie of giggle maps showing florida, missouri in relation to st. louis

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Apr 22

A RateYourMusic comment from user mgrarsalan, dated 19 Sep 2021 09:09 CST, saying "They're not evem animals they are humans wtf liars"

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Apr 21

learning about the Spongebob extended universe lore

A screenshot of the Wikpedia article on Spongiforma Squarepantsii, a fungus which, while named after Spongebob, otherwise has no connection to him whatsoever

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Apr 20

oh, the blue album?

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Apr 9

Well, I did some research and found an interview with NPR where he discusses Charlie Brown's hairstyle www.npr.org/2022/11/24/1...

GROSS (interviewer): Now, your father and Charlie Brown's father were both barbers. Now, Charlie Brown has no hair. He has that one little lock that comes out.

SCHULZ: Well, yeah, I don't think of it as not having hair. I think of it as being hair that is so blond that it jusr doesn't - it's not seen very clearly. That's all.

GROSS: Oh, OK, I was wondering if your father always gave you too close of a shave when he cut your hair.

(LAUGHTER)

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Mar 29

Mine would be Pikachu fan I think

7 different Pikachu plushies that me and my partner have! The image is slightly tilted to minimize the amount of mess that shows up in it (shhhh, I'm cleaning Monday lol)

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Mar 21

was on the wikipedia page for largest insects, and saw this fucken guy, and yelled "JESUS CHRIST!" so loud I accidentally woke my partner up (labeled graphic media for the bugophobic)

A stick insect big enough to reach from the middle of a guy's chest all the way to his forehead!

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Mar 20

A drawing of an anthropomorphized Scooby Doo. He is shirtless and extremely buff. On the bed in front of him is feminized but still bearded Shaggy, wearing green lingerie and pantyhose. Scooby is saying, "Now that's what I call a Scooby snack!"

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Mar 17

no idea how i meant to finish this and its making me cry laughing

drafts dump. a single draft from 7 days ago saying, "what would you do if you"

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Mar 17

immediately thought of this

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Mar 17

me and my partner are like pokeprodigies but only for pikachus

there are at least 8 pikachu plushies visible in this shot, and we have at least 20 more off camera

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Mar 17

from a hungarian friend

In other news the police by mistake forgot to ban a femboy event held on Sunday because they didn't know what "Legány" (femboy) was

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Mar 17

update

It's been 10 hours, p much exact same shot. The only thing that's changed is time of day lmao this sucks

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Mar 16

need to be where yr at, this is what it looked like out here this morning

A red and white sign reading, "Tenant parking only. PLEASE DRIVE SLOWLY." The side of a brick garage. A few trees, one pine, the others leafless. These are the only things visible against the backdrop of an otherwise pure, frozen, frigid, lifeless wasteland of hateful snow (Satan's Spunk, I call it!) The sky is only slightly grayer than the snow; the snow itself has formed a drift so large it's reached almost all the way to the roof of the garage. Keep in mind all this happened *LITERALLY OVERNIGHT*

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Mar 13

ENOUGH!

A screenshot of my muted words and tags. The only terms in there are "Stancil" and "The Woke Ginger"

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Mar 13

If you see this, share your Smash Bros main

A picture of one of me and my partner's many, many Pikachu plushies

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Mar 12

A pot of water has just been placed on the stove to start boiling

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Mar 10

I wonder!

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Mar 6

$my 9 games: Dark Souls 2: Scholars Of The First Sin, Metroid Prime 2: Echoes, The Legend Of Zelda: The Wind Waker, Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem, Wario Land 3, Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey, Pokémon Ruby, Final Fantasy Tactics (should be Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, but for some reason it didn't come up when I searched for it... ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ oh well... c'est la vie), Tales Of Symphonia$

Captain Clownpants@gunfucker· Mar 5