Jon Hall

@hallcommajon

I am a short man who enjoys reading funny things. Also singer and guitar player for the Big Cats of Austin, Texas. He/him

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Jon Hall@hallcommajon· 22d

I don’t know why some kid wrote “SHEOL” on the sidewalk in our neighborhood park, and I’m terrified to find out.

A section of cement sidewalk with bubble letters that appear to spell out SHEOL in chalk.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Jul 12

Reminder that until 2015, this was the best picture of Pluto that we had.

A blurry blob with light and dark areas with no discernible features.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Jul 1

Finally, an animal to present to those who’ve wronged you.

A colorful plastic pterosaur with packaging that reads “The F.Y. Dinosaur.”

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Jun 17

Oh, I don’t think I want that at any price.

A sign reading “$10 Rabies this Saturday 1pm-4pm” with a picture of a cat and a dog.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Jun 16

Well, I was gonna say my R.E.M. “Fables of the Reconstruction” tour shirt, but I can’t find it, so maybe I don’t have it anymore. So, I’ll say my They Might Be Giants shirt from, let’s say, 1988, signed by John F.

A white T-shirt featuring a melting snow man warming his hands over a blazing pile of money. The print reads “THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS.” Handwritten words have been added so that the shirt reads “JON KNOWS THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS SORT OF.” It is signed “JOHN F.”

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Jun 11

Young people have a tendency to think of the seventies as all Deborah Harry and David Bowie and the Ramones and CBGB, but really it was mostly this kind of thing.

An album cover for “Save the Last Dance for Me” by the DeFranco Family Featuring Tony DeFranco. The background is baby blue, and the Kettering two shades of hot pink. Three young men with dark, fluffy, below-the-ears hair and two young women with long, dark, center-parted hair are wearing matching baby-blue jumpsuits, each with a gold animal on the front (the most visible one is a tiger), and an enormous, white collar. The cut of the jumpsuits is dorky in a way that’s hard for me to describe.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· May 18

If you see this, post your getaway vehicle.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· May 16

Pick a bond from the photos already on your phone.

A high school sports mascot wears a maroon muscle suit, a white tank top with a maroon letter “A” on it, gray shorts, and black Converse high tops. Its head is a maroon puffball with a smile and large eyes. It wears a maroon-and-white cap with “LOYAL FOREVER” written on it. It’s the mascot for Austin High School in Austin, Texas. Its name is Mr. Maroo.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· May 10

This Unsleeping City shirt from @dropout.tv may be the coolest inanimate object I own.

A middle-aged white guy with glasses is wearing a black t-shirt featuring a white disc with a black cityscape over it. The coolest thing about it is that if you turn the picture upside down, it shows a cityscape with the colors inverted.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· May 7

When the time comes, they should drape them over his coffin.

Rudy Giuliani on a golf course wearing the largest tan shorts you can imagine. They hang well below the knee, each leg as wide as a full skirt. Kevin Smith covets them.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· May 4

Feeling lonely. Think I’ll head over to the

A bag of cookies on a shelf in a store. The bag reads “Friend Bakery.”

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Apr 17

It’s a growing field.

A buffet item labeled “Pistachio financier.”

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Apr 17

How about the man himself?

A painted miniature of Santa Claus with his traditional red suit and big white beard. One hand holds a teddy bear and the other holds a sack overflowing with colorful presents.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Apr 5

Happy Easter, friends and neighbors.

A Lego minifigure with long brown hair and a beard and wearing Jedi robes so as to resemble the popular image of Jesus.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Apr 5

FINALLY, an I.V. in liquid form.

A T.V. ad that reads “Take a pause to hydrate with Liquid I.V.” There is a picture of a woman drinking a cloudy, whitish liquid from a large jar.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Mar 30

My kids’ high school was the Maroons. That’s right: a plural color. How do you draw that? How do you make a costume of that? Well, it turns out, like this:

A smiling maroon puffball with large eyes wears a maroon-and-white beanie with “Loyal Forever” written on it. The puffball wears a white ribbon with “SFA” written in it. The puffball has feet and appears to be wearing shoes.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Mar 29

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Mar 20

Michigan J. Frog, the top-hat-wearing, cane-carrying, singing, dancing frog from Looney Tunes cartoons.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Mar 18

Excellent dog. My favorite canine mini is this one from Reaper.

Right-side view of a painted miniature of a dog with brown, white, and tan fur and a dark blue collar.

Left-side view of a painted miniature of a dog with brown, white, and tan fur and a dark blue collar.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Mar 18

Should probably mention that my wife was in Houston on Sunday and saw the Wienermobile.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Mar 14

No new pictures: Where are you mentally?

Esme Young of The Great British Sewing Bee has just entered the sewing room to judge the contestants’ garments. The closed captioning reads “Fuck sake.” (That is not what she actually was saying.)

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Mar 10

I don’t think that’s what she said, Closed Captioner.

A television showing The Great British Sewing Bee. The judges have just entered the sewing room, and Esme Young, a tiny, older woman, is the focus of the shot. The closed caption reads “Fuck sake.”

She had actually said, “Oh, I say.”

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Mar 10

Almost as alarming as this.

A sidewalk with the word “RUN” in all caps written in blue chalk.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Mar 7

First of the season.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Mar 6

This popcorn is somehow a ‘90s direct-to-video erotic thriller, complete with tagline.

A bag of Opopop popcorn reading, “MAUI HEAT,” with the tagline “hot like lava. sweet like pineapple.”

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Mar 2

These blooms are the purplest-smelling objects known to science.

A Texas laurel covered in purple blossoms.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Feb 28

I’ve been calling it this in my brain for thirty-five years.

“Twin Peaks” opening credits sequence, but it reads “Pin Tweaks.”

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Feb 25

My favorite era of Wood Elves.

A painted miniature of a male elf warrior wearing a grey hood, green tunic, and brown boots. His right hand rests on the pommel of a large, black-bladed sword with red runes, and his left holds a bow.

A painted miniature of a male elf warrior with blond hair, chain armor with small metal plates attached, and red and black clothing. In his right hand he holds a large sword smeared with black-green blood, and in the other he holds the severed head of an orc.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Feb 22

These.

Jon Hall@hallcommajon· Feb 19

Well, my wife talked me into ordering it, and it finally arrived: my Fender Junior Series Telecaster. Sounds like a million dollars, plays pretty well for not even having been set up yet. Loving the shorter scale length. Pretty much my dream guitar.