Grunkle Harm

@harmonwest

Midwestern writer, movie watcher, perv about town. He/him. Here as mental health allows, but don't count on it. Trans himbo. Writing lives on my site: I don't DM but I do reply to Venmo @harmcoxrules.

434 Following721 Followers4,940 Posts

Bluesky

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Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Jun 30

show me a picture that captures your essence

IN THIS HOUSE WE BELIEVE
BIGFOOT IS REAL
I AM GOING TO KISS HIM
I WILL BE THE LITTLE SPOON
ME AND BIGFOOT WILL FUCK
AND YOU CAN'T STOP US

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Jun 24

"ok, i swallowed a fly, then a spider, than a bird... still experiencing some discomfort, what would you recommend?"

the atm from AMERICAN PSYCHO saying "FEED ME A STRAY CAT"

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Jun 21

If you think you're gonna be a great writer because you have good ideas and a plagarism robot, i invite you to wander over to Reddit and witness the glut of AI works that are met with a bored and howling silence. Everyone talks about getting AI to write their book, but nobody is reading this shit!

A fuzzy cap of David Lynch inviting you to "get real!"

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Jun 18

willam dafoe in THE LIGHTHOUSE looking feral, saying "please. My wets." Somebody needs to dust his wets.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Jun 7

This is why I don't censor my tits anymore, even if Bluesky wants me to. I'm a trans guy with tits. I like my tits. Frankly, it is nice to see art with other trans guys that have tits! I never plan to have top surgery. There are lots of guys in the world like me. We deserve to be represented in art.

A self-portrait of a topless guy in a bed. Despite the fact this is a guy with his shirt off, Bluesky will almost certainly label it porn. They always do!

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· May 15

Walked into a barber shop and said "gimme the David Lynch"

YOU ARE WITNESSING A FRONT THREE QUARTER VIEW OF A HANDSOME TRANS MAN

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· May 14

✨️🌸 the joys of being socialized as a woman 🌸✨️

“You don’t want my body? Is this what you want?” The Bride howls as its fingers dip deep between borrowed muscles and bones, plucking a red organ out of a nest of veins and dangling it in before Cain's eyes. It crushes its own heart in its hand. The home that West and Cain built crumbles around them as the creature splatters apart.

And if you don’t understand why this is trans to me, ask me what happened to the person I was five years ago. Ask me about the fortunes spent on clothes that pinched and itched, on diets that made me weak, on alcohol and anything else that made dissociation accessible. Ask me about the hours I spent on my back and knees, grimacing through words and touches that felt like salt on my raw body, unable to identify the ache that resulted from trying to be the thing they wanted me to be. Ask me why I thought I had to build a different person in order to be worthy of being kept.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· May 8

He joins your party early on and then he is just your little buddy all the time. He follows you into the ocean when you swim with a little floatie!

Goro the tiger cub in his little water floatie.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· May 8

me, a serious gamer

Milhouse and Bart talking. Bart looks annoyed, saying "Milhouse, that's Goro Majima. Do you think he's cool?"

Milhouse cheerily replies "no! I think he's hot!"

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· May 8

Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii is a great Yakuza game because it poses questions like "who are you without your past?" and "what does it mean to be a good man in a culture of toxic masculinity?" and "why is the sluttiest outfit imaginable a loincloth and crocs?"

Majima's sexy black crocs. That is my pet cat next to him. His name is Goro.

Majima's torso, clad in cool snake tattoos and a fundoshi (old-fashioned Japanese loincloth).

Cheeked-up, loincloth, fingerless gloves, cool fish sail. He's got it all.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· May 2

I am locked out of my apartment and BB can see me sitting outside. He is headbutting the window screen and crying at the top of his lungs because he is not getting pets from Dad right now, despite the fact he can SEE Dad?! No pets from visible Dad?!! Is this even legal?!?!?

Tim Robinson saying "this is a betrayal on levels that noones ever seen."

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· May 1

Graham Linehan will avoid jail time. He will still be a washed-up public embarrassment that ruined his own life with his rabid, unhinged transphobia. He is a pathetic, cringy weirdo and so is anybody who defends him. Court decisions change nothing. thisisharmonwest.ghost.io/death-to-sco...

In case you’re unfamiliar with what TERFs are up to overseas, Linehan is a washed-up comedy writer who is such a militant freak about hating trans people that his wife literally left him over it. He recently was arrested in Britain for the crime of publicly harassing and threatening a teenage girl. Because evidence used to validate her legal claims of harassment appeared on Twitter, some weirdos think that his arrest is a free speech issue.

It’s actually just a small part of a decade-long spittle-faced tantrum Linehan has been holding ever since some trans people told him that he wrote a shitty episode of The IT Crowd. Regardless of the pathetic nature of this beef, TERFs have positioned Linehan as a champion of free speech instead of a creepy, insecure boomer dork who is bullying children to preserve his fading relevance.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· May 1

this story is dedicated to @toomanymouths.bsky.social and Cecil and the gay gym hunks from MIRACLE MILE. We all deserve a happy ending.

Leslie (L) and Power Lifter (R), the gay gym hunks of MIRACLE MILE.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Apr 30

I wrote some fiction about what i think it will be like for queer folks in Chicago during a nuclear apocalypse. Also features Lou Sullivan, thoughts on apokalypsis, and a Cybertruck exploding just for fun. thisisharmonwest.ghost.io/the-last-tes...

And I know what he speaks of because I was somehow a gay man and a corpse at the same time too. I had the best years of my life living as a faggot while I died in the eyes of everyone who couldn’t bear to know the man I’d become. I have lived as a gay man and I have died as a gay man, and death does not scare me anymore.

The fear has turned them feral. A woman hunches under the glowing winter heaters, digging wildly through a canvas Trader Joe’s bag and shoveling the canned dolmas she finds directly into her mouth. A gaggle of thick, shrieking men in seasonally-inappropriate shorts throw hockey punches, bro-hooting the other commuters out of the way and pulling their best backyard wrestling moves on each other. I watch a dude execute a near-perfect moonsault off the top of the stalled train, neatly missing his friends on the platform and taking a swan-dive onto the electric rail below.

This is the core of Sontag’s apokalypsis, to me: knowing that the delusions that prop up society are not true, and operating accordingly. Straight people cling to their shared assertion that Christmas is a magical day of family togetherness. Trans people know that there is no such thing as unconditional love, because our families are often the first to reject us. Once you get through that, you realize that Christmas is actually a chance to enjoy the city while straight people eat dry turkeys in Schaumburg.

The air and water meet before me and I can see nothing but glitter and smoke. All around us are bodies, a writhing soup of bodies finding release; nobody panicking about forgetting their trans tape or neglecting to tuck around somebody's precious goddamn kids. The bass pounds from the speakers parked on the pier, a remix of Sabrina Carpenter punctuated by grunting and laughter and wails.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Apr 27

IMPORTANT: What is the funniest article ever written, and why is it 'Richard Kind Goes to Zabar's to Eat Cheese'? www.interviewmagazine.com/comedy/im-la...

Celebrated character actor Richard Kind in a dumb hat and sunglasses throwing a Hang Ten with one hand and holding a massive basket of cheese he cannot eat with the other. He suffers for his art.

RICHARD KIND: What cheese is this? This cheese I don’t like.

JULIAN RIBEIRO: What does it smell like?

KIND: Like cheese!

RIBEIRO: Where would you bring that cheese?

KIND: To a Nazi get-together.

RIBEIRO: Fair enough.

KIND: I feel like a pedophile if I eat just manchego, I prefer to have it aged. Oh god, now the cheese guy is taking pictures. What the hell!

RIBEIRO: What’s the meme, it’s like, “How do you do, fellow kids?”

KIND: What do you do?

RIBEIRO: How do you do, fellow kids?

KIND: What are you saying?

RIBEIRO: That’s what he says, it’s, “How do you do, fellow kids?”

KIND: Oh okay.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Apr 25

hey rudie, there's a hatchet in your survival pack! pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!!!

the utterly unhinged in-universe tutorial video for BATTLE ROYALE featuring a woman in an orange shirt holding an axe and looking real excited about it

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Apr 24

Cannot overstate how hard Pirate Yakuza is pandering to me or how much i appreciate it. Yeah, the gritty toxic masculinity of the main series is engaging, but this is the only game where i get to dress Goro Majima like a catboy and pick his brain about the dignity of sex work.

On the right, a lady in a white blazer who is ashamed of her kinky side. On the left, Goro Majima assures her "it takes all types. Plus eroticism's had a huge influence on the arts since the dawn o' time. If that ain't culture, then i dunno what is."

On the right, blazer lady still looks sad. But Majima persists: "So, in the interest of bein' worldly, i think ya should go big and just embrace sex work as an important part o' society." He is dressed like a mid-aughts gay cat boy, because i can do that in this game and nobody can stop me.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Apr 24

cryptid sighting

A spooky lil' manx cat hiding in the cubby of a cat tree. The lighting is weird.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Apr 22

I see we all have to talk about Brianna Wu again. Evergreen reminder: nobody loves a quisling. thisisharmonwest.ghost.io/camp-quislin...

A quisling is a howling lonely void, a trans person who never found their chosen family and instead filled the hole in their heart by fawning over whatever fascist daddy figure will have them. The belief that they are seen as equals by the gorgons they labor for is nothing but a pleasant delusion. It’s like when a cat sits at a dinner table and waits to eat with the rest of the family, except a family that owns a cat generally loves it. Nobody loves a quisling.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Apr 16

Vegeta saying "yes...hahaha...YES" with his saiyan armor helpfully labeled "sickos." The regular sickos meme could not contain my excitement, so i busted out a special one. Drawn by Jackie Vecchitto.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Apr 12

Weaklung at One City Tap. Great show. @toomanymouths.bsky.social is so cool.

Weaklung. Three people with guitars, one plays the drums.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Apr 12

Getting stoned and dissociating in a dive bar makes all my thoughts sound like David Byrne narrating TRUE STORIES. "A group of people go on stage and some audience members take pictures. Another group gets on stage, and different people take the same picture. Life flows around me! Tremendous!"

David Byrne dressed like a cowboy and driving a convertible in TRUE STORIES, my favorite movie starring David Byrne

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Apr 8

Weaklung killed it at the Empty Bottle last night. Real cool to be friends with an awesome band. Hella proud of @toomanymouths.bsky.social .

Weaklung! Bassist with red hair looks away, two dudes look at guitars, a guy plays the drums. Look, i don't know how music happens, ok? The lights look cool.

Weaklung on stage at the Empty Bottle. Took advantage of a tiny break in the crowd between songs so i could zoom out and get the steps and Disco balls.

Weaklung on stage again. Three cool people plays guitars and one cool person plays drums. I think this is my favorite.

A shot of the Empty Bottle w/awning and Old Style sign. The cat in the upstairs window is a cut-out, sorry. You can see Weaklung on the list of bands playing alongside Living Head. Had to shoot at a weird angle to get everything i wanted so it looks a bit cubist? Ah well.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Apr 5

Great thrift store find: a bound collection of art that was on display in the Art Institute of Chicago, with captions written by Chicago's bitchiest art critic. This thing reads like Hollywood Babylon for museum curators. Amazing.

A yellow book cover with a red dot. Text reads ART MASTERPIECES OF THE 1933 WORLD'S FAIR EXHIBITED AT THE ART INSTITUTE OF CHICAGO

C.J. BULLIET

COMPLETE IN ONE VOLUME

A title page that says "ART MASTERPIECES IN A CENTURY OF PROGRESS FINE ARTS EXHIBITION AT THE ART INSTITUTE OF CHICAGO

informally discussed by C.J. BULLEIT
art critic, Chicago Daily News
Author, 'Apples and Madonnas'

STERLING NORTH OF CHICAGO

A page being held open by a hand in a handsome cuff. One page had a reproduction of "A Dance at the Modern De La Galette" by Toulouse De Lautrec. The other page has color text by critic CJ BULLEIT, which is detailed in the alt text for the following photo in this set

A yellowed book page with the following text:

A DANCE AT THE MOULIN DELA GALETTE
HENRI DE TOULOUSE LAUTREC
FRENCH, 1864-1901
OWNED BY THE ART INSTITUTE OF CHICAGO IMR. AND MRS. LOL. COBURN
COLLECTION

HOLLOW and empty as "night life" and "bohemia" may seem to the worn-out
"rounder" male or female, who abandons it late. in life and prates thereafter
about it until dying day, the Montmartre district of Paris produced one of the great painter genius of all time. Count Henri do Toulouse
Dwarfed and lame, the young nobleman abandoned his own social stratum and
plunged into the half world of Paris. Buying love where he could not command it.
he sought further relief from mor9bid unhappiness in sketching the personages around
him. Eventually, he developed into the one supremely "professional" bohemian of
all time beside him all other "rounders" are "amateurs" even Modigliani and
Passin, both of whom came to their death in the service of night-life muse with the
head of an owl and the wings of a bat.
The Paris of Lautrec was the Paris of the youthful Anna Held. long dead, and
the young issie Loftus, now a silver-haired, soft-spoken genius of the stage.
subsequent careers of both Anna Held and Cissie Loftus, after the girlhood Lautrec
observed, were as weird as anything he ever put into paint.
Lautrec is well represented in the world's fair show, hung in a room with that
other morbid genius, Vincent Van Gogh. It is a gallery that should be visited alone
-a gallery wherein to sit and brood over gigantic futilities.
If you wish to absorb the genius of Lautner, you will find it all in "A Dance at
the Moulin de la Colette." Your night Club visit a few hours later will convince you
of the difference between the "amateur" and the "professional" in bohemia."

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Mar 31

I know i am God's Favorite Transsexual because he chose to make my TDOV such a good hair day ✨️

A trans guy with a beard and fantastic hair. Kinda choppy and wavy. Like a fat David Lynch.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Mar 29

Offering my expert opinion on trans people in sports as a member of the Hello Kitty Athletic Department

A fat trans guy with blue hair showong off his Hello Kitty Athletic Department crop sweatshirt.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Mar 24

🎶 he's a rhinestone rat booooy

A Chicago-style "TARGET: RATS" rat made of red, black, yellow and white rhinestones, sitting next to the sticker i used as a stencil

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Mar 23

tonight's art project: low-poly glam rat for @toomanymouths.bsky.social 's gee-tar

A piece of clear plastic stuck over a sticker of the Chicago Rat Warning rat that i am covering in rhinestones.

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Mar 23

delighted that you acted out this meme in real time!

All Robot & Computers Must Shut The Hell Up

To All Machines: You Do Not Speak Unless Spoken To

And I Will Never Speak To You

I Do Not Want To Hear "Thank You" From A Kiosk I am a Divine Being : You are an Object You Have No Right To Speak In My Holy Tongue

Grunkle Harm@harmonwest· Mar 18

Trying to take a cool outfit photo and accidentally got this delightful father-and-son portrait