S.M. Allard
@heystu818
Founder/editor of #StuNews, he/him
REPORT: Trump to appear on TV tonight to discuss game six of the 1985 World Series #StuNews
BREAKING NEWS: Graham Platner drops out of race, will pivot into a music career #StuNews
REPORT: Americans finish feigning interest in soccer in time to start feigning interest in cycling #StuNews
BREAKING NEWS: British PM Keir Starmer forced to resign; to be replaced by Ryan Seacrest #StuNews
Gov. Gavin Newsom tweeted on X that he's being investigated by the DOJ, presumably to recommend his plastic surgeon. #StuNews
#StuNews contest alert! If you have physical, tangible evidence that Spencer Pratt should've finished second in the LA mayoral runoff, I will mail you a free Stu News t-shirt. Remember, you have to show, not tell, me your evidence. DM for details.
REPORT: CBS purges "60 Minutes" staff; this weekend's episode is just a Kevin Trudeau infomercial #StuNews
Two days after a supposed breakthrough in negotiations, U.S. military says it conducted "self-defense strikes" against targets in Iran. The "self-defense strikes": #StuNews
The White House said Saturday that a deal that includes opening the Strait of Hormuz has been “largely negotiated” by the leaders of “I Ran.” #StuNews
This @poorlydrawnlines.bsky.social comic sums up still having a Twitter account in 2026
The owners of Canvas, a web-based learning management system, paid a ransom after the app was hacked last week. Not long after, a competing educational program shared a new company slogan: #StuNews
A nonprofit in Rwanda is giving gorillas bank accounts as a way to provide compensation to those who render assistance to them, largely via donation. It was going well until the gorillas discovered Instacart. #StuNews
BREAKING NEWS: access through Strait of Hormuz limited to plucky, mischievous Canadian tugboats #StuNews
“Where’s Andy? I haven’t seen or heard from Andy lately. How’s Andy?” #StuNews
BREAKING NEWS: Netflix greenlights "Weekend at Bernie's" remake #StuNews
REPORT: Secretary of the Navy forced out by Secretary of the Black Label #StuNews
The lead organizer of SantaCon NYC, an annual Christmas-themed bar crawl, took more than half of the nearly $3 million the event raised for charity since 2021. He was caught by this whistle-blower: #StuNews