Sabermane

@homelessrobot

Gen X Potato, He/Him Real Life: Cybersecurity Geek, Dad, Husband Fake Life: ttrpgs, movies, all things geekerish, too much politics (sorry I don't want to either but *flails at everything*)

2,681 Following1,507 Followers14,368 Posts

YouTube YouTube Bluesky

Is this your profile?Claim it and homelessrobot.dirty.social is yours.Claim profile

Sabermane@homelessrobot· 5d

The blocks have names, ergo they have personalities, ergo we can stat them to find out how well they'd fight a Beholder in a dungeon. (I completely agree with you, but come on Rhode Island Z?! Tell me you wouldn't play a character named Rhode Island Z)

The Cast of Tetris--the blocks have names--Hero, Smashboy, Blue ricky, Orange Ricky, Teewee, Rhode Island Z, and Cleaveland Z.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· 15d

"You're talking about my good friend Ghengis?? No, I would know if he was invading anybody. That doesn't sound like the Ghengis I know..."

Jim Downey on the Conan podcast doing his bit on his good friend Jeffrey Epstein.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Jul 4

Cashier ringing up my head-sized Buzzball:" I'm going to need to see an id. Also I'm legally required to ask if you're doing alright? And seriously you know you got a problem? Ok then."

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Jun 26

why do you not all love me more?! WHY DO YOU NOT ALL LOVE ME MORE?!

this week's weird-ass quiz results in which I am most like Zohran Mamdani.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Jun 25

My favorite spam email--a $200K Dockworker job in a landlocked state. "Yeah it's a lot of money, but you gotta show up at this barren building at midnight when the UnderSea breaches the Dreaming. There might be some Neverborn, so bring a bat or something. Try not to think about your parents"

A post from a spam email I regularly get, requesting a Dockworker in Littleton, CO, offering 197K annual. I get there's like trains, but this always sounds like someone needs you to load a boat in a state that's three other states away from any major bodies of water or rivers.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Jun 18

An image of Swamp Thing, holding an innocent lamb in a quasi-religious manner. I'm sure this made sense in the comics.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Jun 17

You guys gotta watch this movie purely for this Doctor's office! This is a movie where a surgeon has a 5 foot tall 2 ton workstation and he's just giving out booze like it's Drunkard Halloween!

As a Doctor, I'm recommending 600 cc's of Scotch

Look at it in all it's glory! A massive computer from the 70's with lights and knobs and switches and three phones!!

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Jun 3

The mad man pitch meme but with "Cigarettes for horses" put really badly in there because honestly this isn't that funny but I just wanted to throw it out there. Sorry, I'm a bit under-caffinated this morning and bit depressed, but it's ok I can manage. I hopeyou have a good day.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Jun 2

This used to be a card game:
Shut up and play more tokens and put tokens on those tokens

Sabermane@homelessrobot· May 27

"OH lord God, could we have peace and an end to sickness?" "Best i can do is an extra taco shell."

A baking dish filled the 11 taco shells that came out of my 10 pack tacos for White People Taco Night.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· May 23

Star Trek TNG title card with "Oh Shit it's the Space Africa one!" if you didn't know Season 1 has a RIDICULOUSLY racist episode called "Code of Honor" that has Space Africans and it's just terrible. You can skip this one.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· May 23

A classic TOS animated title card with "The Author's Barely Disguised Fetish"

Sabermane@homelessrobot· May 22

A DS9 opener with the title "This is the 15th Damn Anti-Racism Episode we've made could you please figure it out?!"

Sabermane@homelessrobot· May 6

I'm not saying this makes sense I'm saying this is what popped in my head

It's the Kool-aid Man! But he's full of Admiral Nelson's Rum, and he swears you owe him $70

Sabermane@homelessrobot· May 5

Am I doing this right? Yeah I have to be

Sabermane@homelessrobot· May 4

Finally, some chips i can eat to prove I'm definitely not gay and/or able to raid the 16th century Irish coast.

A bag of Norse Roots chips named Viking Funeral, with runes on it like it's a 40k model, that is trying too hard to be masculine.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Mar 20

And the inevitable sequel if they weren't cowards!

Dune IV: Nuns with Mind-Controlling Hoochies and Furries.

See, this is why we need to read and watch more movies.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Mar 19

Getting the low hanging fruit out of the way now...

It's the Dune Poster with "Would you still love me if i were a worm?" becuase ha ha Leto II look it will only take you four books to get the joke and yeah after book 2 it starts going downhill but hey worm jokes!

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Feb 27

A scene from the movie "The Town", where Ben Affleck requests aid from a friend. "I'd need your help. I can't tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later, and we're gonna hurt some people"

Browt, a pokemon yellow owl cartoon with a knife for some goddamned reason I thought this was a kid's game: "Whose Car we taking?"

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Feb 9

"It's ok! They're just helping me find my dog!!"

An army of T-800 terminator robots walking through a burned wasteland with flying VTOL robots above in an obviously threatening manner.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Dec 21

When the fish have more rights than you.

A warning sign that you cannot legally touch, tease, or entangle mant rays.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Dec 12

A picture of 80s transformer Starscream. Who would definitely yell how he has a penis.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Dec 4

Guys. We've gone too far. This is so manly you now sound really really insecure. "NO, I'm an alpha bro!! I wear Orbital Bombardment" cologne!! By Jake McBigDick!!" Who wants to smell like Trench Warfare anyway??

A series of deodorants by DUKE CANNON named "Air Defense" and "Trench Warfare".

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Nov 28

I assure you there is just enough potato in this to support the insane amount of cheese.

Potato au grautin kinda thing that is about equal parts cheese and Potato by weight.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Nov 14

I know there must be some kind of intersection in the Venn diagram of "stranger Things Fans/DnD geeks/people who buy decorative liquid soap dispensers" but I didn't know there were enough to warrent the "Official Stranger Things D20 soap bottle"

The official D20 shaped Stranger Things soap dispenser in red.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Nov 5

New images of New Yorkers attempting to go to a bodega hours after Mamdani elected Mayor. Our photographer was later eaten by dire rats.

A diorama of Necromunda miniatures, sci-fi post-apocalypse gang members holding guns at each other. One has a heavy industrial saw. There is a giant evil robot in the background

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Oct 31

Getting emergency halloween costume stuff, and saw these little figures that reminded me of my favorite TNG villains, Omnipotent Jerry Seinfeld and Snorkeler Robot Man. (Please ignore my LOOMING BALDNESS)

Some not great figures of Q that look like Jerry Seinfeld, and a Borg with a snorkel.

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Oct 25

He stops. Reads the sign. Shakes his head in disbelief. With a long, mournful sigh, Frank Cotton turns around and walks away #jokesfor8people

A neon sign on a window of a skin care place that says "anyone with skin is welcome"

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Sep 25

A still shot of the Nightmare Cafe, a short-lived horror series starring Robert Englund, aka the Freddy Krueger Guy

Sabermane@homelessrobot· Sep 24

I love my child but the way they eat apples makes my brain twitch. Cut it in half. Cut it in half. You know you're not going to eat the entire CUT IT IN HALF