Alligator Sommelier

@idlewild5

I've been working this valley for 17 years. Every once in a while one of you guys will flip out and attack somebody with a spinach salad or a floppy disk. He/Him? 🏳️‍⚧️

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Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· 27d

Hot as hell at the airport.

Fat white person in a tropical print sports binder fanning themself

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Jul 13

Next time I make this jacket the body will be longer and the sleeves (shown here with cuffs turned up) much, much shorter. #sewing #garmentSewing

Fat white person with short brown hair in a mirror selfie wearing a very cropped light jacket in a black and grey print, a pale blue and pink knit tank top, white and black jaguar print trousers and black monk strap shoes.

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Jul 7

Youtube's algorithm does a great job at finding channels I want to throw into the sea. Does this sort of smug chiding make anyone want to watch the video? By now you'd think the algo would get that I want filthy queers who don't bother with the mindfulness preaching.

Thumbnail of a youtube video showing a smug looking person in a sewing room with their hands clasped in front of them, quirky handwritten font reading "sewing brain > phone brain" around their head. The video is titled "stop doomscroling and develop a sewing brain"

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Jul 6

Down to the last bits of hand finishing on this jacket but out of meetings for the day so back to hands to keyboard work instead of completing it. Dissatisfying.

Close up of the sleeve cuff of a jacket showing raw edges of a seam on one side, and a bias bound finish (black with pretty multicoloured stars) on the other

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Jun 26

more shots from last week's photoshoot of clothes I made: Alani pants by Made for Mermaids, Hyde T-Shirt by Muna and Broad, made in a silk jersey. I bought 7 more yards of it after I made the shirt and I guess it will become luxury loungewear of some kind. #sewing #garmentSewing #fatFashion

Fat white person with short brown hair and tattoos modeling a pair of loose blue cropped pants and a loose silk t-shirt that is white with a distressed red print of giant lipstick covered lips open to show teeth. They are wearing black dress shoes with a monk strap. They are seated on a low stone wall against a mossy, shaded hill. Their legs are spread wide and they are holding a blue linen fan up flamenco style

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Jun 21

Thank you! It's one of a couple of champagne themed prints I made this year. (Or late last year I honestly don't remember anything any more.)

a tile from a repeating design of digitally drawn champagne saucer and gardenia flowers against a blue background covered in tiny gold bubbles

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Jun 21

Had a fun day on Friday with a friend taking a bunch of fashion photos of my home-sewn clothes. This is alani pants by made for mermaids, cropped, and atrax by muna and broad, in a print of my own design. More over the rest of the week probably. #sewing #garmentSewing #fatFashion

Fat white person with short brown hair and tattoos modeling a pair of loose blue cropped pants and a high-necked sleeveless top with a print of flowers and champagne saucers on a blue background. The person is posed as if they're in the middle of falling on the ground

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Jun 17

If a four leafed clover is lucky, what does a five and a half leafed clover portend?

Close up of a hand holding a five and a half leafed clover

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Jun 13

A slow #sewing year still, but I did finish a pair of Made for Mermaids Alani pants cropped to Bermuda short length. And now I'm starting on a Pattern Emporium cropped Downtown jacket. Very lightweight for summer. The bright coloured fabric will be hidden as the under-collar and yoke facing.

Fat white person with short brown hair and tattoos. With their back to the camera they are fussing at an espresso machine. They are wearing a cross-back black top in a shiny fabric, and big purple leopard print bermuda shorts

Black and grey fabric with massive scale orchids on it. There is a flat-felled seam down the fabric with topstitching in pale purple. Under the main fabric, a glimpse of brightly coloured large scale floral print fabric is visible. On top of the fabrics are four large white and black leopard print buttons that appear slightly translucent.

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Jun 12

When you see this, post an image from your gallery to describe your mental health

A watercolor blue smear concealing the word "fuckery" in messy blue cursive. Over it, in messy pink cursive, a text reads "AAAAH! I dropped my one wild and precious life"

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Jun 12

Screenshot from The Good Place of the one demon who is always going to the gym. Captioned "I'm gonna head to the gym"

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Jun 8

Rowan's gardening efforts and eye for design have given me this absolutely joyous riot, which I will doubtless have to turn into a textile

Pale purple clematis with dark purple petal edges twine around deep red roses against green leaves, white porch rails, and a turquoise house

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Jun 3

Fancy little afternoon coffee! I'd love to see your afternoon beverage, plain or fancy.

An espresso shot being pulled into a deep red demitasse with a heart shaped handle on a deep sky blue heart shaped saucer. The cup already has beautiful creamy non-dairy vanilla ice cream in it

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Jun 1

#BirdOfTheDay I also have a heron, a grey heron to be precise. This is from the first and perhaps only set of bird photos I've taken with The Big Camera. My lens wasn't quite up to the distance.

A grey heron seen through leaves, examining its reflection in the water.

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· May 31

New tattoo by Felice at Pearl Street Tattoo Club in Somerville. So pleased with it!

A fat white upper arm with a large art nouveau style tattoo, freshly finished. Admidst decorative swirls, the text "Lean over your balconies and don't run inside" is kinda legible. The tattoo is black ink with shading that looks like an etching and fine white ink highlights.

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· May 29

Name your fav non-DC or Marvel comic book movie

The amazingly dramatic Flash Gordon (1980) movie poster featuring Max Von Sydow's giant forehead

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· May 29

I forgot what I was about to search because I was distracted by someone being stupid and for no reason I searched the phrase "I am a petty ball of hate", and I'm glad I did.

Web search for "I am a petty ball of hate" with one of the results being the Never Gonna Give You Up video

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· May 27

I've had this #orchid #terrarium going since 2020 - my only terrarium survivor at the moment - and a few weeks ago the tall lid was filling with daytime condensation. The jewel orchid was being Very Tall also. I uprooted the orchid gently and curled it around to get air roots into the soil 1/2

A small round terrarium with the lid off revealing lush growth of a tiny ficus with pak shaped leaves and the star of the show: a thriving jewel orchid with bold, dark green oval leaves shot through with bright green sparkly lightning veins.

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· May 24

I picked up a lovely souvenir in a thrift shop in Oxford. It was £4 and it's so cute.

A little wooden car toy - it looks handmade, perhaps from a kit. It resembles an early racing car, long and narrow

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· May 20

Is this a criminal charge?

Teal colored menu reading "breakfast with intent" in large silver letters. In smaller letters it also reads "Jones the grocer"

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· May 11

Guess I'm not learning anything today

A screenshot of a bluesky post. Original post is blocked, next post is muted by "Over5K", then a reply reads "people take things personally", two more replies muted by "Over5K" and finally a reply reading "There's a good lesson in this. If I don't care for something, I'm much more likely to say "This wasn't to my taste" rather than "This sucked!"

Diplomacy, courtesy, and tact cost nothing."

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· May 11

Local youths (I'm in London, these are grey herons)

three juvenile grey herons hanging out on top of a willow tree. One has its wings spread

three juvenile grey herons hanging out on top of a willow tree. One has a fishy in its mouth I think

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· May 10

It are my birthday

A white gelato cake in a rounded triangular prism shape with the words "Happy 50th, V!!" piped on it in jaunty green gel icing. The base of the cake is surrounded with crunchy looking praline

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· May 9

Working hard or hardly working

Fat black yellow and cream bumblebee resting on the wide open bloom of a red rose, green leaves in the background. The image is shadowy.

Fat bumblebee deep in a red rose collecting pollen. Pollen is visible on its legs. The rose is mostly in shadow

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· May 7

I don't really do me-made-May, my wardrobe has enough clothes I made in it that it's just how Iive. But it is always fun to share outfits! #sewing

Fake old postcard from Brighton Pier showing a fat person in a bright pink patterned tank top and grey snakeskin linen pants. The postcard indicates that I wish you were here.

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· May 2

Am very much enjoying the two versions of Muna and Broad's Atrax that I made up so far. Definitely more in the future. Atrax refers to the Sydney funnel web spider. #sewing #garmentSewing

Fat person sitting outside a park cafe. They are wearing a sleeveless light blue top with a pink and white print

Fat person in an old plane remade as a bar. They are wearing a sleeveless top with a bold print of pink sapphires all over it and grey and black leopard print trousers. They are toasting the camera

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Apr 27

Feeling handsome

A fat white person with short dark hair and big sunglasses is sitting in the sun wearing a fabulous tropical shirt

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Apr 25

I'm always saying this

Photo of a screen showing one woman saying to another, "Alia, we clawed our way out of hell to land simple assignments like home wrecking and adultery."

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Apr 21

My favourite plant corner is flourishing. If you zoom in on the terrarium it's my prize-winning macodes petola jewel orchid. I entered one orchid show, took three ribbons, and never attended again. The macodes was getting leggy recently so I introduced its air roots to the soil and it seems happy.

A pink wall. A glossy black statue of a robed woman is covered in velvety dark green leaves from a plant in a bronzer ceramic pot. In front of it is a gathering of three tiny cases and a bell-cloched terrarium with a sparkly green jewel orchid in it.

Alligator Sommelier@idlewild5· Apr 20

We're hoping that whoever built this has realized it was a terrible choice and abandoned it