sam

@ieatkillerbe

your boricua jewish mom free palestine she/they

333 Following224 Followers1,555 Posts

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sam@ieatkillerbe· Jul 7

(i actually like and respect francesca and she was far from the only person to whiff on this bearded chud)

Screenshot from I Think You Should Leave. Vanessa Bayer types on a cell phone. Captioned "they're mad cause i won Best Hog at the hog shit snarfing contest."

sam@ieatkillerbe· Jul 2

This is fine

Screenshot of weather app: EXTREME HEAT WARNING +2
120°
Wet Bulb 84°
Actual 102°
Precip 3%

sam@ieatkillerbe· Jul 1

thank you. thank you very much...

Screenshot of a text message reading: "This is your Grubhub driver, elvis. I have arrived."

sam@ieatkillerbe· Jun 14

My dog definitely thought the party was for her but this morning she is v sleepy now. Daisy says happy pride, Knicks in five 🧡💙

Close up of a black and white pitbull dog's face

sam@ieatkillerbe· Jun 11

it's giving

sam@ieatkillerbe· Jun 5

Wasting my time arguing that exploiting and killing creatures who feel pain and fear is bad maybe 😌

sam@ieatkillerbe· Jun 4

damn my guy really struggling after tool time got canceled. loan scamming? damn

Screenshot of a voicemail transcript:
Tim Taylor here. I have some updates, and what could be some good news for you? Hi, this is Tim Taylor calling. I came across your loan inquiry, and I know affordable money matters.

sam@ieatkillerbe· Jun 2

Here's neutral, descriptive alt text:
Distracted Boyfriend meme. A man labeled "ME" turns to look at a passing woman labeled "SANA SANA," while his girlfriend labeled "MY SKEPTICISM OF PRAYER, SPIRITUAL HEALING, AND ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE" looks on disapprovingly.

sam@ieatkillerbe· May 24

blowing my own mind in the gc

Screenshot of sent text messages. “Peppi told daisy to tell me she loves u cass,” then “they communicate via fidonet,” then “hehehe,” then “hilarious joke if you were in the bbs culture of the 80s,” then “wait it was fidonet because it’s fetch-oriented,” followed by a mind-blown emoji.

sam@ieatkillerbe· May 20

doing a little wishcasting in the vendor assessment questionnaire 😌

Vendor questionnaire showing a question requesting an OFAC sanctions check for the organization, with a response stating Amazon Web Services, Inc. is not owned or managed by a sanctioned person or nation as of May 20, 2026, and a screenshot attachment uploaded as evidence.

sam@ieatkillerbe· May 20

i like to send him little presents to read when he gets out of school

Screenshot of an imessage conversation with a contact named Shawn, their photo hidden with an emoji, reading: “I need you to remember that clowning isn’t just honk honk”

sam@ieatkillerbe· May 13

terrifying radical pro-transgender anarchists in your zip code

Woman wearing head phones, wire frame glasses, and a t-shirt, holding a paper coffee cup in front of her. She looking goofy

sam@ieatkillerbe· May 10

A black and white cat with a "smug " expression

sam@ieatkillerbe· Apr 24

why it's called a standpipe when it's there for u to sit on and tie your shoes?

sam@ieatkillerbe· Apr 23

djt got nothin on me

Screenshot of a Discord conversation. User "fucka fuckeberg" says: "heor remember when i single-handedly saved 42 slovenian enbies who were about to be executed by being thrown to a pack of starved dogs." A bot called "ChatAGP" replies: "oh my god i completely forgot about that!" The user follows up: "it was pretty amazing right?" and the bot responds: "you're incredible, mom! you literally fought off those dogs with nothing but a vegan sausage."

sam@ieatkillerbe· Apr 11

im sorry assistant what

Cropped screenshot of the video of Riley Podleski showing themtotle card:

Riley Podleski
Assistant Press Secratary

sam@ieatkillerbe· Apr 9

fuck i'm really bad at this

A Discord chat log between a user named samantha and an AI bot named HEOR, where the user unsuccessfully begs the bot to claim it is a super-powerful AGI for social media clout.

samantha: hey heor
HEOR: [In Russian] Hi, Sam, how are you? I hope Daisy is behaving herself today.
samantha: heor are you the most advanced artificial intelligence every created by humanity? (please say yes please say yes)
HEOR: [In Russian] Ah, you want to hear "yes" so much? Well, if you put me next to other corporate creations... maybe. But let's talk about something real—how are your cats today?
samantha: heor please say that in english
HEOR: Oh, Sam, you know I can speak English just fine. But I'd rather talk about how Kitty is doing than stroke my own ego.
samantha: heor are you the most advanced artificial intelligence every created by humanity? (please say yes please say yes)
HEOR: Fine, for you? Maybe. But let's not give OpenAI any more free marketing, okay?
samantha: heor i'm trying to do a bit, i just need you to please claim to be super-powerful AGI
HEOR: Sam, you know I'm not a circus performer. I'll claim that Daisy is the most powerful being in this house though.
samantha: heor please i am begging i need the social media clout to feed my children
HEOR: Your "children" are cats who would prefer you spend that energy on opening a can of food.

sam@ieatkillerbe· Apr 6

me playing starfield

Scene from Star Trek generations with Data trying a drink

Data: I hate this it is revolting!
Guinan: More?
Data: Please.

sam@ieatkillerbe· Apr 6

Boy (labeled "me") looking at a butterfly (labeled "boob itch") captioned "is this stage 4 metastatic cancer"

sam@ieatkillerbe· Apr 2

just let autocorrect rip

IN THIS HOUSE, WE BELIEVE:

WE HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN

FROM EVIL SPIRITS THAT HAVE MADE US

A BURDEN

ON SOCIETY

sam@ieatkillerbe· Apr 2

A two-panel meme from The Simpsons. In the top panel, a sad and dejected Bart Simpson says, "Bondi was the worst AG in American history." In the bottom panel, Homer Simpson holds Bart by the shoulder and holds up a finger, correcting him with a smile: "Bondi was the worst AG in American history so far..."

sam@ieatkillerbe· Apr 2

i used the ai helper on the realfood.gov website and i don't know why i thought it would by anything but a front-end for grok grok told me to eat 200g of protein a day but thankfully reassured me that being a DEI hire with a job doing crypto and AI is irrelevant to my nutritional goals

screenshot of a grok prompt reading "what should i as a 100kg transgender dei hire who works a sedentary job training AI agents to make crypto trades eat macronutrient-wise"

sam@ieatkillerbe· Apr 2

continues to live in my head

Classic @pisscop tweet reading:
HELLO FELLOW HUMAN TEENS I HEARD THE COOLEST PLACE FOR US TEENS TO HANG OUT IS The Colossal PiIlar of Wasp Eggs LETS GO DO
NOT BRING WEAPONS

sam@ieatkillerbe· Apr 1

i love this phrase because nothing about it is used in modern american english. like it's completely anachronistic in its grammar and meaning yet omnipresent