ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief

@ivyeternal

aphrodite has but one precept you must love yourself let everything else flow from that new england / dark woods / ocean salt 38, audhd i am the spider in the night

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ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· 13d

was having anxiety about work, so i decided to deal with it by being unreasonably hot do you know why this is considered an unacceptable solution for women in this society? because it ~works~ did i increase my capacity for thought by looking like this? no, i increased my ~belief~ in my capacity

selfie of a white woman with rose gold blonde hair, wearing a yellow and purple plaid sundress. she is standing in a blue room with art km the wall behind her. her eyelids are painted gold. you can see a raven tattoo prominently displayed on her right upper arm.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· 15d

ohhohohoho, i have improved my rankings since the last time i saw this piece of 'science' going around 😇

the hot/crazy scale diagram, showing ivy's results as 100% hot and 81.67% crazy, which frankly seems about right

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· 29d

a good set of colours for my birthday

a pantone zodiac colour grouping of a pale blue named "moonlit shell", a darker blue edging towards teal called "deep mermaid", a nicely saturated pink called "airy peony", and a pastel peach called "pearl blush"

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Jun 23

exactly! you need to hand out tokens for that

photo of a white woman's left hand holding a charm made of little letter cubes on a string, bounded by wooden rose beads at either end. the letters spell "root❤️access".

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· May 17

yup 😇

photo of a round woodend target with a green painted circle. two steel knives are stuck in the wood near the centre. the upper knife has rather obviously collided with the lower knife.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· May 4

quite frankly, i'm starting to think the grey suits me

selfie of a white woman with greying curly blonde hair. she's standing outdoors on the sunlight and wearing a blue cold shoulder dress with a silver heart necklace. she's smiling contentedly because her hair looks amazing, despite the grey waves streaming from her temples.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· May 4

apparently i'm a furry artist now? anyhow, did this for a girl i'm dating for her birthday these are the perks and all that (yes, there are alternate versions)

digital drawing of an arctic fox girl with blue highlights in her fur. she has long, silver hair and red painted nails. she's posing with one hand behind her head and the other on her hip. she's winking at the viewer, and her other eye is yellow/gold. she's wearing a sky blue sweater with white heart eyed smilies on it and a pink pleated skirt. the whole thing is extremely trans coded.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Apr 17

i don't have the character space to explain that to you, so have a curse instead may your nails chip, your hair frizz, & the skin on your elbows always be dry enough to catch on your sleeve the counter-curse is to enable this simple accessibility setting in the app! the power of choice is given

a screenshot of the accessibility options for the bsky app, showing the "require alt text before posting" toggle turned on

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Apr 15

this is my, "yes, i would like to join fields of the nephilim" outfit

selfie of a white woman with blonde hair and transparent cateye glasses standing in the middle of a blue room. she is wearing a grey textured long sleeve top with an image of a cow skull printed on it, and also a black, flat brimmed felt hat. she has sharp, black eyeshadow and her blonde hair is spilling over her shoulders in glossy waves. she seems like an emotional kind of girl, who would probably cry if you kissed her.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Apr 15

...h-hey! i mean, i ~would~ complain because that's part of the image but i have very deliberately cultivated this vibe, it's true

results of a timeline analyser that say "ivy.eternal likes to tell everyone that she's a top, but let's be honest with ourselves. she's a bottom, and we all know it."

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Apr 15

it's apparently a poetry morning this one is hand-written (digitally, but still, done with a pen) for all of us who are still little girls

image of a poem printed in maroon ink on a white sheet of a4 with blue dots. the title of the poem is "little girl" which is written in bright red cursive letters, to the right of the poem. the poem is dated and signed as per usual with "ivy.eternal 15 april 2026". the text of the poem is as follows:

there's something
in the way you say
“Don't be foolish, girl”
that wounds deeper
than a blow would

the bitter tone of
pity that tells me
you too were once
a foolish girl
but not any longer

why must we bury
our daughters alive
and praise the corpses
that rise in their place
as “grown women”?

no, never again, never again.

i won't let my youth
dry up and die
like you all did

i will feed my inner girl
on rocket fuel
and moon beams

and when she burns the world down to ashes,
we will dance, naked and free, in the glow

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Apr 15

new poem time to get "political" again, it seems

image of a poem superimposed over a photograph of a park bench with a heavy instagram style filter. there is a watermark on the right edge of the image that reads “ivy.eternal 15 april 2026“. the name for the poem is "targeted". text of the poem is as follows:

“please stop trying to kill me!”
shouldn't be such a difficult ask

“we're not targeting you”
they assure me
“we just want to kill that spider
before it bites somebody”

my brethren in christ,
you are aiming a bazooka
at the park bench
on which i am sitting

don't pretend your aggression
is narrowly targeted

and besides all that
i like spiders

we have never hurt you
don't kill either of us

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Apr 13

you know, i really am quite pretty

photo of a white woman's right eye. she has moderately thick black eyeliner on the upper lid, and a clean triangle drawn on the corner of the eyelid in grey. her iris is grey blue with a bit of orange around the centre (the blue in this picture has been emphasized). her eye is somewhat bloodshot on account of her not sleeping well. ever.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Apr 8

oh my fucking gods, @lypiphera.bsky.social's "cat" will. not. stop. flexing her claws into my flesh she does this over and over every day for minutes at a time please stop 😭

two panel image of a black cat's paw on a white woman's leg. the first image shows the claws extended, the second image shows them dug into the skin of the leg.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Apr 4

completing the outfit with a wide brimmed hat i have a large head (based on averages), so i find a wide brimmed hat looks most well proportioned or maybe i just grew up watching too many 1940s films

selfie of a white woman wearing grey hat and a black leather jacket. she has an ammonite fossil on a chain around her neck and 00g blue rose plugs with guitar pick dangles in her ears. she's giving a slight smirk to the camera. the left side of her face is lit with natural light and the right side is in shadow.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Apr 4

on the one hand, i should redo my hair, as being blonde is a major part of my whole thing™️ on the other hand, the grey is actually doing fucking work these days

selfie of a white woman with grey hair. she's wearing transparent cateye glasses, a black leather jacket, and a t-shirt with a peacock on it. she's smiling slightly at the camera in an "i'm too tired for this shit" way.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Mar 25

you know what, i've been digging this one lately

selfie of white woman with dirty blonde hair wearing transparent cateye glasses and a maroon sweater. she has her left hand tucked under her chin, and her hair is backlit in such a way that it looks warm and glowing.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Mar 24

as much as i despise admitting defeat, this is the best my eyes have at this particular moment

image reading "your delta-e jnd is 0.0037"

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Mar 24

hormones out of whack brain melted just step on me, okay? okay

selfie of a white woman lying on her back on a persian rug wearing a thin white t-shirt and low-rise blue jeans. she's holding the phone camera above her head aimed at her feet, which are pointed towards the window through which the setting sun is streaming. she's pulling the collar of her shirt to the side because, honestly, she's stupidly horny at the moment and will absolutely be embarrassed by this post in about 3 days, give or take.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Mar 21

i did find my hemp rope! i didn't think it had survived my transition, but apparently my spider soul was watching over me, as always now, there are other fibres that one ~can~ use i'm definitely adding silk to my kit but i am a sadist, so i have a particular love for coconut fibre rope 😈

photograph of three coils of hemp shibari rope lying on a persian rug. the rope has all been neatly coiled and is ready for easy use.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Mar 21

the fact that this double column is sloppy af makes me unhappy the fact that i did it from memory after a decade away makes me pretty fucking pleased, though and knowing i ~could~ drag her out of bed like this? // low throaty chuckle //

photograph of a white woman's bare feet with freshly pedicured pink toenails. her legs have been pulled out from under white flannel sheets and and tied with a double column tie with 6mm hemp rope. the feet are resting on the brown corduroy panted leg of the photographer. the rope has just enough tension on it to show that she's just been moved.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Mar 21

oh no, sleeping girlfriend! oh no!

a photograph of two cute little girl feet pulled from underneath the white flannel sheets with a length of hemp bondage rope

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Mar 21

guess who did ~not~ throw away or lose her shibari rope during all of her early transition nightmares? sometimes having a piece of your mind watching out for your future self is a good thing

photograph of three bundles of 6mm hemp rope lying on a white sheet. the bundles are loose and messy, because they've been in a storage bag for a number of years, but the rope feels so good in your fingers.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Mar 21

since this is the first one i've done in ten years, i'll be kind with myself my girlfriend has arthritis, so i had to keep the wrists looser than i usually would but we'll get better

photograph of the back of a white woman wearing a red nightgown, tied with blue and pink nylon rope in a shibari chest harness. the ropes make an intersecting diamond pattern up her spine.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Mar 18

i see your 2 years of norwegian history and raise you the "royal society for the publication of manuscripts on scandinavian history"

screenshot of a wikipedia gacha card titled "royal society for publication of manuscripts on scandinavian history". the card has an 1155 atk and a 694 def value.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Mar 18

these are not good stats, but my mother always used to get so mad at her mom for calling any spreadable butter-like product "oleo", so this one holds some personal joy my mom is totally not a pedantic autist like me, nooo & yes, of course i also called it "oleo" to be a bitch 😇

pack of gacha cards from "wikipedia gacha" showing the article "oleo", which has 3514 atk and 334 def.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Mar 18

most of the love poetry i write is for @lypiphera.bsky.social i wrote this for her to wake up to after her last night away from my arms she comes home ~today~

image of a poem superimposed on a pair of women's hands, both wearing engagement rings. there is a watermark on the right edge of hte image that reads "ivy.eternal 18 mar 2026". the title of the poem is "wants // needs". the text is as follows:
i want you
i don't only want
to be in a memory of
when we were together
i want you

i want you
i don't only want
to be in the room
where you are sitting
i want you

i want you
i don't only want
to be in the thoughts
that you are having
i want you

i want you in my arms
i want you in my hands
i want you in my mouth
i want you in my heart
i want you in my soul

i need you
i don't only want
i also need—
like oxygen—
your regard

i need you
i don't want
to fade away
like a familiar echo
lost in the noise

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Mar 17

somehow i keep coming back to this one

photo of a white blonde woman lying on a bed in a pink room and holding up a glass of red wine to the viewer. she is wearing a black top that shows just a little bit of. shoulder.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Mar 15

when did your obsession with hot toxic women begin?

image of poison ivy from batman the animated series. batman is on his knees in front of her, fighting to stand up after being poisoned.

ivy astarael, exhausted beyond belief@ivyeternal· Mar 13

oh right, i used to go through a lot of these 😅😅😅 i honestly think i dig in ever harder now than the way i used to play. gotta get that aggressive attack for those 16th note clusters. there was a time when i exclusively used yellow 0.77mm picks, but these days i like a solid 1.0mm.