Joan Allen

@jallensf

I'm here for health policy, health data, unions, California politics, and Giants baseball. There will also be cat pictures.

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Joan Allen@jallensf· 5d

Picture of energy vampire Colin Robinson from the show What We Do In The Shadows. He looks eerily like Kevin Hassett, with all the same lack of charisma and charm

Joan Allen@jallensf· 5d

Just roving bands of billionaires living on their yachts in international waters for the rest of time

Poster from the 1995 movie Waterworld

The guy with the eye patch is probably Jeff Bezos

Joan Allen@jallensf· May 10

Post your warning sign

Warning sign style drawing of a person stepping in lava. This will not end well for our protagonist.

Picture taken at Lassen Volcanic National Park, where this scenario is a surprisingly real possibility.

Joan Allen@jallensf· Apr 23

Caught these goslings foraging in Sacramento last week. Surprisingly, there were also Sea Lions hanging out on a dock in the river.

Joan Allen@jallensf· Apr 13

My favorite part is that he made the black/makeup patch on his hand a bright healing white

Extreme closeup of the part of the AI slop image showing a hand with stubby fingers resting on a man’s forehead. The back of the hand is very bright, kinda glowing. Doesn’t at all look necrotic.

Joan Allen@jallensf· Apr 8

It’s astonishing how many different entities they are managing through a single phone number

Screenshot of the first few google results for the phone number (844) 357-3601.

It’s a bunch of companies with different names advertising GLP-1s.

Joan Allen@jallensf· Apr 6

Seriously off the rails

Screenshot of a post by the magazine The Economist. The posted article is titled “Age gaps in relationships are not as bad as you think”

Joan Allen@jallensf· Apr 3

Toby is clearly cooler than I am

A tabby cat lookin close up at the camera. She is wearing a denim vest with various patches, but clearly more punk than thou.

Joan Allen@jallensf· Mar 31

To our great surprise, Toby loves her new battle vest

A tabby cat facing away from the camera and looking out a window. She is wearing a sleeveless denim vest with various metal embellishments and cloth patches, including one patch encouraging us to eat the rich. She is now much more punk than I am

Joan Allen@jallensf· Mar 15

search your camera roll for hell

Person facing away from the camera holding protest sign that reads “Hell hath no fury like 165 million women and girls scorned.”

Joan Allen@jallensf· Mar 5

Because if this is real, someone needs to get her gloves that actually fit

A close up of part of the original post’s image. It shows an AI generated person’s hands in white gloves several sizes too large.

Joan Allen@jallensf· Feb 7

It was at Alta Plaza Park in Pac Heights (then a “march” to City Hall). Way more mockers than actual pro-billionaire dorks

A smattering of people standing around a park holding signs supporting the concept of billionaires.

For example, one (apparently unironic) sign reads “Tip your landlord”

Joan Allen@jallensf· Jan 27

Finally some good news in San Francisco

Screenshot of a text from San Francisco’s municipal alert system warning of a mountain lion in the city, and my reply text saying that I love that for us as a city

Joan Allen@jallensf· Jan 24

Oh look, a sea lion

The Wondermark comic titled “The Terrible Sea Lion.” An internet classic about trolls who argue in bad faith.

Here’s the original link: https://wondermark.com/c/1062/

Joan Allen@jallensf· Jan 24

Well since he’s looking forward to giving ChatGPT all of his financial information, he’s either a bot or deeply naive

Screenshot of one of the guy’s posts. In it he’s really excited that 2025 was the last time he’ll need to do his taxes, because in 2026 he’ll just “dump everything into ChatGPT”

Joan Allen@jallensf· Jan 17

If you tell me something can only be done “because of angles, metes, and bounds,” I will laugh at you. Invoking metes and bounds tells me this was written by AI and edited by people who don’t know the first thing about anything. The EU’s lawyers should have fun with this one.

Same Trump statement as in the original post, but with the bit about “metes and bounds” highlighted in blue

Joan Allen@jallensf· Jan 3

None of this looks real

Theoretically a closeup of the Trumps holding hands, but more likely a deeply manipulated image of two theoretical people holding hands. That’s not how thumbs work.

Joan Allen@jallensf· Jan 1

The energy I’m bringing into 2026

Me wearing a black shirt and grey sweater. But more importantly, I’m wearing a guillotine necklace

Joan Allen@jallensf· Dec 25

May your days be merry and bright

A tabby cat with reindeer antlers and a scarf. She is looking at the camera as if to convey that this had better be followed by the GOOD treats, or she’s going to call PETA

Joan Allen@jallensf· Dec 21

Yep, this one was blocking the 24 bus tonight.

A stranded Waymo blocking a San Francisco City bus.

Joan Allen@jallensf· Dec 9

It’s 5:30am on the West Coast, and the hold music for this @politico.com webinar is enough of a bop that I’m surprisingly awake and ready to dance

Screenshot of the dark blue intro slide for a Politico webinar titled “Policy Outlook: Health Care Affordability” presented by Blood Cancer United

Joan Allen@jallensf· Dec 1

And that alignment fail shows a spectacular level of “meh, good enough”

Zoom in on part of the original image showing the gold wall art failing utterly to line up vertically.

There’s also the top of a Christmas tree and a painting of Lincoln judging everything happening around him.

Joan Allen@jallensf· Nov 27

Best I can do on short notice

A tabby cat who appears angry to be wearing a red and white scarf and reindeer antlers

Joan Allen@jallensf· Nov 3

And remember, even Versailles has its own “pressboard and spraypaint” issues, but at least the technical execution is good

Screenshot from the official website of Versailles. Screenshot shows a room with roof floor, wallpaper, and some cool-looking wood furniture.

The text reads: “This second bedroom, with its simple, moulded wood panelling and fireplace of painted stone and fake marble, is designed to look like the bedroom of Marie Thérèse Charlotte, known as Madame Royale, daughter of Louis XVI and Marie-Antoinette, who resided on this floor.”

Joan Allen@jallensf· Nov 1

I see you. Take your weak shit somewhere else

A gull sitting on a stone wall with water in the background. The gull looks… unimpressed

Joan Allen@jallensf· Oct 16

It was even one of the clues in his scavenger hunt

Picture of a scavenger hunt clue on a clipboard. Text reads: I am a member of NYC-DSA, but I would not be the first member to be elected mayor. Find your next clue at the building named after the man who was. You'll be doing us a really big favor.

Joan Allen@jallensf· Oct 12

The crows and seagulls are looking shifty. Maybe time for the Navy?

A beautiful beach with ocean waves in the background and fluffy clouds. A crow patrols the sky

Joan Allen@jallensf· Sep 28

Few months ago I saw this spectacular drag queen dancing to the theme from Fraggle Rock. Great night in San Francisco

A drag performer dressed as Red Fraggle from Fraggle Rock. She is wearing yellow dress, a giant red feather boa, and mask covering her head in the shape of Red Fraggle’s face.

In the background is a typical bar with customers

Joan Allen@jallensf· Sep 23

Definitely dated a guy in high school who had a version of this shirt (Except I somehow remember his being classier than this. What can I say, I was 17?)

Grey t-shirt with text reading “in case of RAPTURE this t-shirt will be empty.”

Joan Allen@jallensf· Sep 2

Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?