Jeff Roush
@jeffroushwriting
Parent, lawyer, writer, lexicological acrobat, and a guy working to find my way and make a difference as I go
Tonight’s #FridayLimericks watch as the admin’s metaphors keep growing more apt. All the garbage this President’s hurled Serves his effort to remake the world. This destruction is mapped By more metaphors apt Than this nation has ever unfurled.
After last night, I think the newly declassified documents make abundantly clear that my books provide the most reliable and entertaining source of information on our present political clusterfucks. This is also supported by the newly declassified Magna Carta.
An important note: 31 USC 5112, rather than 5114, governs minting coins. So while this move is simultaneously authoritarian, vainglorious, gauche, and douchey, it is not technically illegal.
There are many ways in which we need to work to right this timeline. But among others, I hope someone is working on Cameo scripts for JD Vance’s future income ventures, ideally related to furniture and saying “Thank you.”
As the ASPCA commercial discusses the plight of animals going hungry, my suburban pet privileged cat is letting me know that he, too, is suffering. Sure, Freddie, you’re starving. #MeowToo
Taking a minute to step away from the noise matters. Not because the daily workload and struggle and fight aren’t real, but because breathing in the beautiful both refreshes us and reminds us that there is more than the ugliness we stare down every day.
I do enjoy No Fucks to Give Hunter Biden. No word yet on whether Comer and Jordan are going to be investigating whether he composes these shots on a laptop.
Ohio’s GOP is working on talking points to explain how their 15-year trifecta doesn’t make them responsible for all that’s gone downhill in the state during that time. Apparently the current position is that DeWine is not a real Republican since he sometimes shows empathy. (1/2)
A bullshit alert from Ohio. In summary: 1. Haiti is not in South America; Moreno’s birthplace of Columbia is. 2. Despite Moreno apparently Haitians both live off welfare and made home prices explode, immigrants saved Springfield. 3. Bernie Moreno is a lying douche nozzle.
I used to know I needed a haircut when a bit of grey appeared around the edges. Now, as my fifties emerge in more pronounced ways, those greys are meeting the lines in my face for daily breakfast, and for gentle reminders to make each today matter.
Tonight’s #FridayLimericks watch the full Trump administration pattern play out in a reflecting pool nutshell. Trump is up to his usual tricks With his hubris-incompetence mix. The reflecting pool plot Shows us all that he’s got: An admin of dumb, arrogant pricks.
Tonight’s #FridayLimericks go to the parade of doofuses trying desperately to prop up a decrepit president. While the President’s crapping his pants, All the hangers-on stick to their dance. Whether avarice-born Or the fearful forlorn, They pump up the dude’s craziest rants.
The foundation that shares his last name Wants to clarify it’s not to blame. When he tried to suggest That he worked with the rest, They all distanced themselves from that shame.
Tonight’s #FridayLimericks go to noted dildo slapper Bill Pulte. The intelligence chief (for a bit) Is Bill Pulte, a legacy git. There’s a whiff of manure From this dipshit du jour, Here to stir up more trouble, then split.
Love is love. People are people. Until we stop trying to add the comma but to excuse accepting sexualities and identities we don’t understand or to which we don’t relate, Pride Month will be as necessary as it is beautiful. Be a safe space for someone.
Cooling off after mowing the lawn, sitting in a pocket of shade under a blue sky with clouds stretched across like cotton candy. My beer is cold and the breeze is cool. Birds are chirping out undoubtedly tawdry songs, leaves are rustling, and for this brief moment, peace is a tangible presence.
Tonight’s #FridayLimericks watch as Freedom250 celebrates the worst of what we are. Anniversary stuff’s set to convene, So Trump’s forced a grotesque little scene. Love of country thus shifts To one more of his grifts; It’s a motive that’s easy to glean.
Now now, what was said about Stephen Miller is objectively true, but he identifies on the inside as a handsome boy, and we should all consider respecting this literal Peyronie’s dick’s feelings on the matter.
State GOP legislators in Ohio know that a bogeyman is much scarier if you never really see it. In SB 113, they are going so far as to seek to ban DEI without ever defining what is banned. Perhaps they’ll assess and enforce on DOGE-style text searches and vibes? (Thread)
4. The Wizard of Oz presidency. No brains, no heart, and no courage—all leading up to a big, scary show with no actual substance behind it.
2. The alarm clock presidency. At its loudest when you don’t want it to be. Sometimes you just lie awake dreading the moment it goes off. Comes with snooze function that gets used more and more often.
1. The doily presidency. Old and incredibly delicate. Some people have a strange nostalgia for them, despite their possessing no real usefulness. Sometimes brought in for a cover-up, but there are too many holes in the plot for it to really work.
As we watch Trump flounder, it would be all too easy to call this a dumpster fire presidency, or even a flaming bag of dog shit presidency. I feel we can be more creative than that. I have a few proposals for how, after the stain has faded, this might be remembered (thread):
