Jem Turner

@jemjabella

PHP dev & founder of WordPress agency; into fitness shenanigans, food & fancy cocktails. Mostly post random thoughts. 🏳️‍🌈. AuDHD. Mum to two teenagers. (She/her) Blog: Work:

296 Following893 Followers1,083 Posts

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Jem Turner@jemjabella· 13d

Attempting to photograph the eclipse through a welding helmet...

Photo of the eclipse through my partner's welding helmet. The moon is blocking around two thirds of the sun.

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Jun 25

Using her air fryer to.... boil eggs?

A screenshot of a BBC news piece about keeping cool in the heat. Under a photo of a very dry looking piece of steak thrown onto some iceberg lettuce is the caption "Aimie has been using her air fryer to boil eggs and cook steak"

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Jun 25

Oh well, here goes nothing

A screenshot of the Intuit "global communications center" confirming that I've unsubscribed

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Jun 25

Method one: log in and choose "opt out of all Mailchimp marketing communications". I'm *already* opted out:

Jem Turner@jemjabella· May 21

Would I like them to find me people who *require* underperforming website performance? Seems like the antithesis of what I do to be honest 🧐

Screenshot of a cold sales email that says: "Hi Jem, Would you like me to get you lots of founders and directors from e-commerce stores and agencies who require underperforming website performance this June?"

Jem Turner@jemjabella· May 7

And despite unsubscribing to the shit I didn't actually subscribe to, they're still emailing me...

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Apr 30

Turns out it doesn't matter whether you opt-in or not, they'll send you shit anyway.

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Apr 27

Shady opt OUT practice on the Mailchimp sign up page. You'd think a company that works in this space would know better.

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Apr 23

I could be wrong, but I think someone's trying to reset my passwords...

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Feb 20

This is actually my worst score yet 😆

Results from the colour game - Jem wins with 43.6, Rhys loses with 37.6

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Feb 10

I too am a web design Telford based company

A screenshot of a web page with the paragraph "We are a web design Telford based company" which isn't spammy at all (sarcasm)

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Sep 3

Calm your tits New Look, it's been an hour

A screenshot of the top two emails in my inbox. One is a new order notification from New Look at 06:24 today, the second is a discount code from New Look at 07:41 with the subject line "We miss you! Here's a special discount code to prove it..."

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Aug 16

I've had it twice, but I was referring more generally to Embers 😂

A picture of the steak and eggs I had for breakfast this morning, at Embers Café in Coalbrookdale, Shropshire

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Aug 6

Potentially taking on a new client so have backed up their site to download and audit it first (pretty standard stuff). Backup completed OK but the host wants to charge extra to download it? This is absolutely outrageous upselling. Looking at you Siteground.

Screenshot of a modal window that appears if I try to download a manual backup from the Siteground backup tool. The modal tells me that to unlock my backup I need to pay for Premium Backup services, an additional monthly charge.

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Aug 5

Thanks Google, I don't know how I'll cope with the emotional impact of you bringing up this memory.

A screenshot of the Google Photos interface with the caption of "Best of July" on a thumbnail of a photo I took in July. The photo in question is of two bags of Birds Eye chicken nuggets, one pack breaded and one battered.

Jem Turner@jemjabella· May 23

Yeah that's really helpful PayPal, thanks.

A screenshot of a PayPal page after I just sent someone money. The page includes the PayPal branded header and footer, but has absolutely no content. The URL indicates it is the "success" page, but who knows whether or not my transaction has gone through.

Jem Turner@jemjabella· May 18

A busy bee, in my favourite rose; a gift from @gazchap.com 🌱

A multicoloured rose flower. The centre of the rose starts bright yellow and then fades to almost white towards the edge of the petals. There are deep pink flecks and lines on some of the petals, mostly towards the outer edges.

Jem Turner@jemjabella· May 16

The climbing rose I planted last year is really going for it this year! 🌱

A climbing rose growing up a tired old fence. Many large white blooms are visible.

A closer look at the large blooms of my climbing rose.

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Apr 1

Today I saw a linkedin headline that said "I fire people for a living and replace them with AI" Imagine being the kind of human that believes this bullshit. 🤢 Let's yeet this shit into the sea already.

A man in a top hat & suit yeets an elegantly dressed lady off a cliff into the sea

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Mar 27

It's a good job the PHP mascot is an elephant otherwise I might take this personally 😂

My "codebeast" generated by AI. It's a blue elephant head and body with a peacock's tail feathers. It seems to have multiple drinks on the go, so is definitely bisexual.

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Mar 18

Auditing a site for a prospective new client today. This never gets old.

Screenshot of a code editor showing an array of forcibly disabled plugins, one of which is the "pipdig power pack plugin". I outed pipdig for planting backdoors and malicious code to ddos competitors on their client sites back in 2019.

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Feb 19

Well this woke me up

Screenshot of the Trainline app showing my first train as delayed, with "1 min to change (less than scheduled)" underneath

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Jan 23

Severn Trent's new billing portal has stronger password requirements than my online banking. Doesn't work though - every attempt to update throws a "please try again later" error 🫠

Must be at least 15 characters long
Include both uppercase and lowercase letters
Include at least one number and one special character (e.g. £, #, %)
Cannot match your last 3 passwords
Must not contain your account number, email, or common passwords (e.g. “password”, “football”)

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Jan 11

6h 13m 😱 Mine...

Screenshot of my Garmin sleep score. Garmin rates my sleep at 89 out of 100 with a duration of 8h 7m.

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Jan 10

I cancelled my last hair appointment in November because I had a couple of unavoidable meetings. Think I might need to hurry up & rearrange it... 🫣😂

Selfie taken just now. My hair is sticking up in all directions and my usual shaved sides have completely grown out.

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Jan 7

So thoughtful 🥰

Screenshot of an email from "hair21" (no idea who they are) with a subject of "Happy Birthday MERGEFIELD FirstName". Think someone needs to do better data scraping...

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Dec 24

This'll have to do, I suppose 👀

Jem holding an open bottle of champagne in front of the Christmas tree. She may or may not have had a glass already.

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Dec 11

Ayyyyee 😎

A screenshot of the microwave door game showing my high score as 9900

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Nov 28

Beautiful pink tinge to the sky out there this morning, and a heavy frost on my herbs 🌱

Jem Turner@jemjabella· Nov 26

If you see this, post a picture of yourself looking silly and/or fabulous.