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@jen-the-magician

Space witch Novelty is my special interest (no, seriously) Loosely affiliated w being a girl (she/her is chill) ✨ Co-owner of @knaveofcups.com ✨ TTRPGs+gifts

2,624 Following1,575 Followers1,754 Posts

Bluesky

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🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Jul 16

Last month, we put a bow tie on the cat but we decided he's just gonna wear it all the time now. Every time I see him in it, I giggle with joy

A seal-point tabby with blue eyes wearing a pride-striped bow tie, mid nose-lick

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Jul 12

Eyeing the basil on my pizza suspiciously and googling

Screen shot from a search for what temperature Neapolitan pizzas are cooked at (the Alfa Forni site says 430-500 degrees)

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Jul 12

It’s too hot today so let’s all remember that 8 months ago I got a Garden of Earthly Delights tattoo (bonus, the shot where my phone prioritized Norman instead?)

A fine line tattoo on Jen’s right calf of the bulbous fountain from Hieronymus Bosch’s painting The Garden of Earthly Delights

Same pic as before but the auto focus made Jen’s calf blurry and chose Norman, a black and white dog, chilling on the patio beside her

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Jul 3

Ugh I long for homeostasis Like, I am feeling better but damn I got my monthly flowers today and cried because they’re so perfectly pointy and good to look at. I held them like a beauty pageant winner and felt triumphant for living in this damn body

A bouquet of strange pinks and greens - normal mums but also large pink straw flowers, flappy little mini carnations, fluffy fraggle-looking things, tiny daisies, and a bunch of thick monkey puzzle-looking pointy green stems

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Jun 30

lol you think I’m kidding

Screen shot from Instagram of a fancy letterpress card that says “May we live long enough to be swallowed by the rising seas” with two hands doing a cheers with their beer steins

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Jun 29

Please enjoy this sticker on the drive thru pickup at my pharmacy

A drive thru pickup drawer with a little cat sticker on it

A closeup of the cat sticker, showing an orange cat from an extreme upward angle staring at the camera

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Jun 29

I am immune to all homeowner advertising except for the refrigerator that makes ice orbs Fuck I want the ice orb fridge

An ad for an LG refrigerator that says CHOOSE YOUR CHILL and shows 2 inch “craft” ice and 1 inch “mini craft ice”

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Jun 28

Tbh this whole exercise is a huge lesson in “accommodations help everyone” bc ppl keep going OHHHHH ITS NICE IN HERE (It’s also hot outside and Pride weekend) Today I added soft 60s jams and the jellyfish cam on the computer

The Monterrey Bay Aquarium jellyfish cam features a bunch of violet jellyfish slowly floating around in circles

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Jun 28

Tom (design school student) was like "if my professor saw the ones that touch I've have to start over" and I had to tell him it's not about the whole pattern, it's about MAKING THEM OVER AND OVER because it MAKES MY BRAIN FEEL GOOD

Three pieces of note paper covered in tiny rows of parallel lines. Altogether the kind of look like a basket weave but that was not on purpose - I just needed to draw a lot of tiny lines to calm my overclocked brain

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Jun 25

“Nature’s puffy Cheetos”

A bag of brown cubes made of puffed bison lungs

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Jun 23

Please enjoy the cat in his pride bow tie

A seal point tabby sitting in a chair wearing a rainbow bow tie

A seal point tabby sitting on the back of a couch wearing a rainbow bow tie. The lighting is kinda pink because we have a grow light for our plants

A seal point tabby sitting on a lap getting his head scratched and smiling. He’s wearing a rainbow bow tie. The lighting is kinda pink because we have a grow light for our plants

A seal point tabby caught mid-lick with his tongue out. He’s wearing a rainbow bow tie

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Jun 23

I mean, cmon

The many biographical accounts of her life, from the eighteenth century onwards, include stories of her winning several duels with the sword—on one occasion with three noblemen in the same evening, after she kissed a young woman at a ball—and beating the singer Louis Gaulard Dumesny after he insulted the other women at the Opera.[1] She continued to wear male gendered clothes in public and had relationships with both men and women.[4]

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Jun 10

Happy Pride to The Final Sacrifice episode of #mst3k where Mike gets Grizzled Old Prospector's Syndrome instead of Hockey Hair, says he made out with a surly truck farmer, and Crow chuckles and goes "you ol' coot!"

Screen shot from the youtube upload of Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Final Sacrifice. The bots both have communicable Hockey Hair from watching a 90s Canadian movie but Mike got Grizzled Old Prospector Syndrome instead, which appears if you already had Hockey Hair (but you have to kiss a prospector). The caption says "well let's see uh you've been kissing any prospectors?"

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Jun 9

Spouse is learning to draw for his Industrial Design degree. Had to make “a representation of an image in print” and chose @theonion.com baby gun ad (then I guess had to explain that he gets The Onion in paper form)

An absolutely unhinged-looking charcoal drawing of a baby holding a handgun. All things considered, the creator of this cursed thing couldn’t draw at all a year ago and I am honestly impressed with his improvement

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Jun 5

Wow, already so useful

A screen shot from the Knave of Cups discord DM between Ayo and Jen

Jen ✨ (she/her) — 3:31 PM
In other news, I just accidentally ordered a smoothie NOT from the location up the street from my work - for some unholy reason it defaulted to a location across town. I just added an extra $5 to my delivery person's tip. Goddamn it
WHY DONT THEY LET YOU CANCEL ORDERS

AYolland — 3:31 PM
mmm you know why

Jen ✨ (she/her) — 3:31 PM
Yeah. I know why.

AYolland — 3:31 PM
it's bc we live in hell

Jen ✨ (she/her) — 3:31 PM
🫩

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· May 27

Both of these dogs have been a part of our household since 2019 and I just now registered their microchips, please clap Bonus: this was Willa's original kennel card as a 4mo old puppy in Alabama

The corner of Willa's kennel card from her original intake at the Great Birmingham Humane Society. It says she has a grade 6 heart murmur. Her picture is of a gangly brown puppy with a white chest. She has what my spouse and I call her "scared ears" on (her ears are crinkled up and back against her head)

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· May 24

It's the dogs' adoptiversary! Willa Mae came home on Memorial Day 2019. She went from outgoing and enthusiastic at the (extremely rural) shelter to terrified in our (city) neighborhood. A week later, we brought home Norman, her emotional support dog

A large, short-haired, brown and white dog wearing a party hat

A large, short-haired, black and white dog wearing a party hat

A closeup of the party hat. It's conical with blue feathers on the tip and around the base. The print is confetti with little bubbles that say "happy got me day"

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· May 19

:’(

A shot from indoors looking out a window at a large moth on the outside sill. It’s sitting next to a plastic lid with water and half an orange gummy bear in it

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· May 19

Bluesky is broken, here’s a big moth (I wanted to put a quarter next to it for scale but it’s cold and rainy here so it’s already having a bad day)

A large brown striped moth hugs the corner of an aluminum window well. Its little arms are up around its head, its face is pressed into the darkest armpit of the metal. Its butt feathers(?) are smooshed up beneath it. I get migraines when the weather suddenly turns from warm/sunny (yesterday) to cold/rainy (today). This moth looks like it has a migraine too

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· May 18

This is who's checking receipts at the door to make sure you didn't steal anything

Sting as Feyd-Rautha in David Lynch's Dune. He is nude except for a stylized winged leather cod piece. He looks wiry, moist, and smug

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· May 17

Congrats, you have been granted the cursed knowledge of Flavortown fizzy water

Two cases of Guy Fieri’s Flavortown coconut lime cooler Waterloo seltzer (fizzy water) on display at the grocery store

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· May 17

Got this the other day and was genuinely disconcerted

A screen shot from a DM where I say “are you fucking kidding me” alongside ANOTHER screen shot of a captcha where there’s a grid of food icons and a list with three icons on the left. It says “click every grocery requested by the list”

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· May 10

Pls enjoy the cat going to town on a sticky catnip roller ball (he ran off to take the longest drink of water ever after this)

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· May 3

post your warning sign

The word “yikes” spray painted on a raised pavement barrier between street parking and protected bike lane. The letters are red and all capitals and have a calligraphic quality to them

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· May 3

Genuinely mad the upload killed HOW INCREDIBLY GLITTERY these little fuckers are

A closeup of one of the chicken tenders covered in “Spice Melange” dry rub, some combo of turmeric, cinnamon, allspice, and copper food glitter

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· May 3

Don’t bother me while I’m eating my Dune tendies

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Apr 29

Bonus for #5 Julian the cat and Newman the dachshund

A grey cat wearing a gold bandanna gets treats next to the front door of a pet shop. He’s wearing a lavender harness and leash

A senior dachshund with one brown eye and one blue eye stares remorselessly at the camera after swiping a treat off the bottom shelf of a pet shop

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Apr 21

LOL me too!! I didn’t get an invite for a few months there and I was worried I got booted for, I dunno, ~extreme answers~ but nope, all good (discord DM screen shot for proof)

Jen messages a friend on Discord “in other news, LOL WE’RE SO BACK” with an attached screen shot of an AmeriSpeak survey question “Generally speaking, would you say things in this country are heading in the…” and two choices, “wrong direction” or “right direction” (Jen chose wrong direction). Her friend responded with the laugh-cry emoji

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Apr 21

LOL me too!! I didn’t get an invite for a few months there and I was worried I got booted for, I dunno, ~extreme answers~ but nope, all good (discord DM screen shot for proof)

🍟🍟🍟@jen-the-magician· Apr 17

The Horrors Sale this year has the same vibe as this pic