Beast of Bourbon 🥃

@jenleepa

Hot philosopher diplomat

278 Following509 Followers2,553 Posts

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Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· 25d

It’s all about the sound that follows:

Screencap reads: “Choosing between a and an before words that start with U depends on the sound that follows the letter U. Use a before words with a consonant sound, like in "a unicorn." Use an before words with a vowel sound, like in "an umbrella." The key is not the letter itself but the sound that comes right after it. If it sounds like it starts with a vowel, use an. If it starts with a harder, consonant-like sound, use a. Remember, it's all about the sound, not just the letter.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· 28d

well that is certainly one way to begin a text requesting political donations

Screencap of a text that reads “Let's talk about explosive watery diarrhea.”

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· 28d

oh my god this absolute queen

Screencap from Wikipedia reads, “Bankhead never publicly used the term "bisexual" to describe herself, preferring to use the term "ambisextrous" instead.”

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· 28d

is this good

A map of the current air quality conditions (or lack of) in the mid-Atlantic. There is an enormous swath of purple stretching across multiple states, indicating dangerous levels of particulates in the air.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· 29d

hangin' out the passenger side of his best friend's ride, tryin' to holla at me no, I don't want

A Rubbermaid bin top with a label affixed that reads *NO SCRUBS!*

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· 29d

One year ago today, @bondcliff.bsky.social did me a solid and got an entire bus of @phish.com fans to take a flippie to add to @coldchef.bsky.social’s massive collection. An amazing moment. ❤️🐠🖕

A bus full of people, most of whom are flipping the bird at the camera.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· 29d

posting this for no reason whatsoever

A picture of a “gold” trump bar with his stupid fucking face on it. The “value” is 100. 100 what? Not a fucking clue.

The price tag attached to the “gold” bar. Originally being sold for $10, it is now marked down to $8.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jul 15

good LORD this chart of its value since the ipo

A line graph for the value of spacex stock from its ipo. After starting in the $200/share range, it has dropped precipitously (aside from a couple of bumps) and is valued at $134.88 at the time of this screencap.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jul 13

😬

A photo of the cover of “Erotic Art of the Masters: The 18th, 19th, & 20th Centuries.” The cover is black, with an amber-toned drawing of a man examining the genitalia of a woman. The drawing is in an oval frame.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jul 9

🤗

An antique-looking embroidered doily. It has lace around the edges and the fabric is yellow with age. Embroidered in the middle is a cherry and words that say “your ai flyer looks like shit”.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jul 4

yay, summer!

A white plate with slices of tomato, fresh mozzarella, and a chiffonade of basil sprinkled on top.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jul 2

Every spring we have starlings build a nest in the top of one of our porch columns. They are filthy and shit everywhere (seriously, it looks like a pollock painting out there), but this gross little baby still made my day.

A baby starling is perched on top of a column, squawking.

The same baby starling perched on top of a column, still squawking.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jun 29

👇

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jun 24

I got these at the Mexican grocery store the other day and they might be the most addictive snacks ever. They are crispy like a rice cracker, and are coated in a chili lime powder, and I could easily eat the entire bag, they are so very much my jam. No idea what they're called. Any of y’all know?

A hand is holding a clear bag of snacks that look sort of like smooth Cheetos. They’re lightly dusted in a reddish powder.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jun 20

A scene from the movie version of “A Wrinkle In Time.” A white woman and a Black teenage girl are standing on a cliff, with a blue ocean and mountains behind them. On the left is Reese Witherspoon, who’s portraying Mrs. Whatsit. She is dressed in a gown with an iridescent, diaphanous top and a dark teal skirt. She is offering her hand to Meg, played by Storm Reid. Storm has a beautiful head of shoulder-length natural curls. She is wearing glasses and a red plaid flannel shirt over a gray henley top. She is tentatively reaching towards Mrs. Whatsit.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jun 18

Alan Rickman dressed as his character Dane from Galaxy Quest. He’s wearing a latex piece on his head, shaped to look vaguely alien, and a purple and gray uniform. He’s looking at the viewer as if they’ve said the most stupid thing in the world.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jun 17

Reposted with alt text

The mayor from Jaws, standing in front of the algae-filled reflecting pool while being interviewed by a reporter. Text reads, “The pool is open and everyone is having a wonderful time!”

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jun 17

Name a tv show you’re positive no one remembers but you.

Poster for “Manimal,” a garbage TV show from the 80s. The top of the image says MANIMAL, and underneath it are four images of a man transforming into a panther.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jun 16

god, I cannot wait to use this

A black & white picture of Bette Davis in her later years. She is seated andwearing a black boater hat with a feather in the crown, a black dress, and pearls. She is smoking and looks at the camera with an appraising look. Text reads, “One should only say good things about the dead. … He’s dead. Good.”

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jun 16

This is my all-time favorite picture of her.

Michele Obama looking utterly exquisite in a long black taffeta gown, standing in the Red Room in the White House. The gown has a scoop neck and 3/4 sleeves, and is belted at the waist. It’s very form-fitting until the knee, where the gown flares out into a small train. Her arms are bent and clasped at her waist.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jun 14

@bitteroldpunk.bsky.social I’m in Tupelo and we hit up a cool vintage / antiques store, and loooook what I found

An old glass bottle of coke. It’s a commemorative version, celebrating legendary Alabama coach Bear Bryant.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jun 10

solidarity, sister

A white woman, face obscured by a sunglasses emoji, is giving the bird to the headquarters of the American Family Association, soulless ghouls that they are.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jun 4

Every now and then I think about this magnificent shot of Alysa Liu during her gold medal performance and it just makes my heart all smiley. May we all know this level of exquisite, fearless joy.

An overhead picture of Olympic figure skater Alysa Liu. She is mid-pirouette, left arm extended, right arm reaching over her shoulder to grasp her skate blade. She is wearing a gold dress with a sectioned skirt that’s flaring from her waist like the petals of a flower. Her eyes are closed and her face is a perfect expression of ecstatic joy.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jun 4

Doja has the uncanny ability to insult someone in entirely new ways that are also utterly devastating.

Tweet from Doja Cat reads, “hey elon if u see this please put the audio post feature back on here. Thanks, u frog build looking bitch. Barrel chested ewok u look like u eat sand.”

Doja Cat quote tweeted a post that reads, “She didn't put an @ cuz she's not about that life!” Doja’s reply reads “@elonmusk put the audio post feature back on this app. Thanks, you hairless no-neck havin, chimpanzee. Face look like it was drawn from memory. When u swim on ur back at the beach shit look like a man o' war. Hourglass ankles. Not tryna be mean though sorry.”

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· Jun 2

no thoughts just vibes

A very large gray cat is dozing, fluffy belly-up, on a cat bed.

A closer picture of a very large gray cat who’s dozing, fluffy belly-up, on a cat bed.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· May 30

omg I am drunk on nostalgia

A hand is holding a small tin of bubblegum flavored lip balm.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· May 29

THIS JUST IN: Wyld Stallyns has cancelled their appearance at the Freedom 250 festival, stating in a press release that the event was “totally bogus” and antithetical to their core value of “be[ing] excellent to each other.”

Alex Winters, as Bill S. Preston, is jamming on a guitar while wearing a cutoff shirt. Keanu Reeves, as Ted ‘Theodore’ Logan, is wearing a white shirt and black vest, also jamming away.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· May 27

cornyn you naughty minx

Screencap of part of a paragraph that reads, “in the initial march primary, Cornyn narrowly edged Paxton”

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· May 26

Friendly reminder about the existence of Neil, the 140-lb husky made of love, fur, and a big ole floppy tongue.

An enormous brown and white husky is lying on his side, gloriously pudgy belly exposed and tongue flopping out of the side his mouth. He is being adored by a small group of people who are petting that gloriously pudgy belly.

An enormous brown and white husky is lying on his side, looking up at the girl who is petting him while his tongue flops out of the side his mouth. He is radiating love.

Beast of Bourbon 🥃@jenleepa· May 24

We just met the greatest dog in the universe* at KoP mall. His name was Neil, and he was 140 lbs of pure love. (*except for your dog, who is also the greatest) #DogSky #sploot