Joseph Kohlmann

@jkohlmann

He / him · #Manhattan #NYC · Staff software engineer · Design+eng, #HCI, #DesignSystems, listening, empathy, #house #music, video #games, #photography, #cats, Black feminism, trans rights, Palestinian liberation, antiwhiteness, broken systems, #union labor

3,103 Following2,491 Followers6,383 Posts

YouTube Bluesky

Is this your profile?Claim it and jkohlmann.dirty.social is yours.Claim profile

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· 27d

For the #Housemarque and #Returnal sickos out there: 1. I named my personal Mac "Helios" 2. Find My now gives me '"Helios" left behind' notifications

An iOS notification from Find My that reads, ‘Time Sensitive: “Helios” left behind. This device is no longer detected near you. It was last seen near [redacted].”

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· May 19

Google presents: 2 of ? genders

A frame grab showing a wide shot of the Google I/O conference with two smart glasses presented on a screen. On the left is a pair of rounded cats-eye sunglasses from a company named “Gentle Monster”, while on the right appears a fairly nondescript if masculine frame of normal glasses from Warby Parker. A presenter appears standing off to the right of the screen, which is about three times taller. A vertical rectangle grid of beige wood paneling appears behind the screen and along the front edge of the stage.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Apr 2

Here it is: the only “X” app worth installing

A screenshot showing the Fujifilm X app icon, a wide, angular X in white against a gradiated dark gray and black background, with the word “Fujifilm” in all caps and dark gray underneath it. The app’s name is “XApp”.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Mar 23

Okay, so who made the fucking trades, then? Via: www.ft.com/content/06db...

52 minutes ago. George Steer and Amelia Pollard in New York and Malcolm Moore in London. Traders placed $580mn in oil bets ahead of Trump's post on Iran talks. Traders made bets worth half a billion dollars in the oil market about 15 minutes before Donald Trump's post touting "productive" talks with Iran sent the price of crude tumbling and ignited volatility in other assets. Roughly 6,200 Brent and West Texas Intermediate futures contracts changed hands between 6.49am and 6.50am New York time on Monday, just a quarter of an hour ahead of the US president's post on Truth Social that there had in recent days been "productive conversations" with Tehran to end the war in Iran. The notional value of those trades was $580mn, according to FT calculations based on Bloomberg data. Trading volumes for Brent and WTI leapt at the same time, 27 seconds before 6.50am. Futures tracking the S&P 500 share index jumped in price moments after the oil trade, with volumes also rising significantly during that timeframe.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Mar 1

Here is the generative AI statement for @hinterland.bsky.social’s games with alt text:

Statement Against The Use Of Generative AI

Hinterland is a humans-first company. We believe in the primacy of human creativity, and in the dignity of all human creators. We will never use generative Al for any of our games, nor include any code or content in our games that wasn't created purely by humans.

We are opposed to the widespread exploitation and abuse of human creativity, exploitation that underpins the business models of all generative Al companies. We believe that this fight is an existential fight for the soul of humanity, and we see games standing at the forefront of this fight. There is no ethical application of generative Al, as all commercial models are built on the industrial-scale theft and exploitation of workers, as well as the destruction of our environment, to the sole benefit of the billionaire-class.

We also do not consent to have any of our work added to any generative Al models, for training purposes or otherwise, and will use all legal means at our disposal to protect our creations and our intellectual property. We believe that our work, and the commitment to our players, demands this of us.

Press Any Key To Continue

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Feb 17

Horizon rules — sorry to all the haters, but Goth Aloy can’t hear you

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Feb 9

Gonna tell everyone I know that I “played” the “Big Game” this evening /s Got a new #Returnal #PS5 Tower of Sisyphus high score of 108,558,847 — Phase 12, Room 12, Rank 226 of 9940. That’s over 11 million higher than my previous high score!

A screenshot of Returnal’s Tower of Sisyphus scoreboard for the previous cycle, or run. The score breakdown is displayed on a glowy, monochrome green display with futuristic typography. The breakdown reads: Combat category. Weak Point Kills: 165. Melee Kills: 307. Hostiles Eliminated: 1,004. Malformed Hostiles Eliminated: 182. Explorer category. Floors Cleared: 134. Silphium Found: 44. Obolites Collected: 11,194. Calibrators Collected: 17. Skill category. Perfect Floors: 98. Consecutive Perfect Floors: 97. Peak Adrenaline: 5. Mid-air Melee: 301. Objectives category: Pylioids Eliminated: 23. Algos Defeated: 2. Algos’ Final Form Defeated: 1. Algos’ Infinity Form Defeated: 8. Phase 12, Room 12. Multiplier category. Average: 77.10. Highest: 100.00. Final: 100.00. Rank: 226 of 9,940. Total Score: 108,558,847.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Jan 14

Put some more soundtrack thoughts on ResetEra: post in thread 'Metroid Prime 4: Beyond |OT| Voilà! Vi-O-La!' www.resetera.com/threads/metr...

Popping back in to once again extol the virtues of the soundtrack. The game's default mix is crowded, but I enjoyed how the game sounded in speakers with the Music Volume at 100 / 100, and the Sound Effects and Speech Volume each set to 50 / 100. I also gave the Special Release: Metroid Prime 4: Beyond playlist on Nintendo Music a close listen. I wasn't sure we'd get another Kenji Yamamoto and Minako Hamano soundtrack, let alone for a Metroid game. For me, these two composers need no introduction, so I'll just say I loved what they did here. What's more, the production is top-notch technically, like, maybe the best produced Nintendo soundtrack to date. I have listened to all the old soundtracks several times, and this new one is a big step up in terms of the instrumentation quality and the real vocalists. With pre-release footage I was concerned they were overusing choir samples, but after beating the game and going back to the soundtrack, two things stood out: choirs and vocal samples were a huge part of previous soundtracks, and, I'm glad they gave the real vocalists so much to do on this one. In retrospect, repeated listening to the old soundtrack habituated me to thinking of the synthesized choirs as pads or other instruments, rather than as chants and operatic vocals. That might be why I was taken aback by the new soundtrack at first.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Jan 12

Photo by me

A cropped screenshot of the iOS Home Screen showing the Dock with Phone, Safari, Bear, and Apple Music icons in it. Notably, Bear’s icon is a white silhouette of a stylized bear illustration. The Dock and icons are clear and demonstrate iOS 26’s Liquid Glass design language. A mostly clear blue sky with green deciduous tree appears in the background, which the Dock and icons blur and distort realistically.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Jan 11

Clown Town

Ian Fischer (KingmakersGamedev) @ianfisch.bsky.social: I have no doubt she knows a ton about gamergate, but that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about how much of a role gamergate had into shaping the current political climate. That's a very different thing.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Jan 5

From 2024: flic.kr/p/2rQdmkf #MonochromeMonday #MonochromMontag #Photography #BlackandWhitePhotography #BNWPhotography #UrbanPhotography #ArchitecturePhotography #Ricoh #RicohGR #RicohGRIII #GRIII

A portrait oriented black and white photo of the Time Warner Center’s back side. Near the center top, two prominent towers with a sheared parallelogram like shape jut out behind other buildings, including a boxy dark complex in the middle ground, and more residential brick buildings in the foreground. Deciduous trees fill the immediate foreground, covering up the brick buildings.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Dec 12

A dramatic reading, courtesy of the macOS text-to-speech voice “Bad News”:

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Nov 8

Thank you for linking to this

Steamed Hams for An Unforgettable Luncheon

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Sep 8

HUMAN artists, use only one piece to convince people to follow you (flic.kr/p/2rqViYz)

A photo of trees and other greenery in Central Park, tightly framed and zoomed so that the trees and bushes completely cover the frame. On the far left you can see the side of a bridge, and immediately to the right of a tree trunk, a person wearing a bright red shirt standing along a pathway to the bridge currently hidden from view. Some of the trees with beige and brown-gray trunks also show slightly yellowing leaves, which stand out against the layers of green around them. Two famous Central Park lamps appear in the shot: one in the distance along the hidden path, and one near a tree trunk in the lower right third of the frame. Overall the shot conveys an enveloping density of greenery and tree canopies, with just a small opening in the upper right giving a hint of washed out building façade beyond the confines of the park.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Jul 10

Care to comment, Mr. @kenklippenstein.bsky.social

An email from Ken Klippenstein in “Inbox - iCloud” from 7:58 PM, subject line: “690606 is your Substack verification code”. The first few words of the message body read, “Here’s your verification code to sign in to Substack: 690606. This code will only be valid for the next 10 minutes. If the code…”

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Jul 3

You’re very welcome! Hang in there!!! 😢💜 Here’s Mel on my lap from earlier

Mellie the cat, an adult gray shorthair cat, is sitting on Joe’s lap in front of a white desk. Mellie’s head is on the right, ears perked up, looking forward. The shot is from overhead, and we can see a wireless “clacky” keyboard, a plastic laptop stand, a mint green and brown placemat, two black coaster, and a can of Celsius.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Apr 26

This one’s for you, @bbghost.bsky.social!!!

A photo of the underground subway platform at Hoyt-Schermerhorn St. in Brooklyn, NY, taken at a slight angle so as to imply a more expansive continuation of the platform off to the right of the frame. The far wall is covered in white tiles with a distinct stripe of light mint green with a darker mint green border. The platform across the tracks appears in a dingy gray/brown, with several tiled pillars and a large black sign with “Hoyt-Schermerhorn St.” in bold white letters hanging from the ceiling. An overhead fluorescent light appears in the upper-right corner of the frame, and the yellow paint of the platform curb appears along the lower right.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Apr 9

Walter Bloomberg’s Prophecy has been fulfilled www.nytimes.com/live/2025/04...

*Walter Bloomberg, a Twitter verified account with the username @DeItaone, says in a since deleted tweet, “🚨 HASSETT: TRUMP IS CONSIDERING A 90-DAY PAUSE IN TARIFFS FOR ALL COUNTRIES EXCEPT CHINA”

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Mar 22

Here we go, finally:

A photo of seven purple crocus flowers growing on a patch of land enveloped by dead leaves. A dappled shaft of sunlight appears across the lower right corner of the frame.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Mar 15

@papapishu.bsky.social Dust of ̶L̶i̶f̶e̶ Highlight Reel

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Mar 14

Just faxed this to Senator Kirsten Gillibrand’s office.

A letter dated March 13th, 2025. To the office of Senator Kirsten Gillibrand: As your constituent, I am demanding that you vote “no” on the cloture and “no” on the Republican Spending Bill. Since Inauguration Day, the Democratic Party establishment, including you, have aided and abetted the violent destruction of the American administrative state. You are a direct accomplice to this ransacking, having failed to mount any meaningful opposition to the Nazis in the White House and Congress. Hence, I am shocked but sadly unsurprised by your horrible choice, along with Senator Schumer, to vote “yes” on funding this government. All this does is grant these Nazis legislative affirmation they need to further accelerate their destructive plans of austerity, privatization, eugenics, racism, and white supremacy. You have failed me and millions of other New Yorkers, who have counted on you to throw a wrench in the machine of American fascism. The best thing you can do right now is resign; I certainly won’t be voting for you ever again. The second best thing is to vote “no”, to slow down this five-alarm fire. Don’t you dare continue to fan the flames. Sincerely, Joseph Kohlmann.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Mar 14

To the office of Coward @schumer.senate.gov:

A screenshot of a letter dated March 13th, 2025. To the office of Coward Chuck Schumer: Just 52 days in to the second Trump administration, this government has done damage that will take decades to even begin recovery. And I’m talking about the damage done by so-called Democrat “leaders” such as yourself. You are no leader. Your best choice would be to resign in disgrace as soon as humanly possible. As a constituent, you have betrayed my trust, not to mention the trust of millions of other New Yorkers. We were counting on you to mount real opposition against this fascist Nazi government. That means throwing a wrench in the gears. Putting your body on the line to protect your constituents from harm. Doing everything you can to slow down the Nazis in Congress and the White House. Instead, when push comes to shove, what did you do? You chose to acquiesce to the Nazis, in opposition to even the rest of the Congressional Democrats, as a means to keep the government open. You are so profoundly, disgracefully out of your depth. Keeping this government open does nothing but give an actual legislative green light to the ongoing sabotage. In closing, you are a coward, a fool, and a traitor to your constituents. I look forward to the moment you are forced out of Congress by a real opposition leader. Very sincerely yours, Joseph Kohlmann.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Mar 12

Looks like there’s some kind of Following timeline scrolling glitch in v1.99, in which the timeline rapidly shuffles between content without any scroll gesture interaction from the user. Seen on iPhone 160 Pro Max / iOS 18.3.2 (warning: moderately fast flashing content on-screen):

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Mar 4

Is that him

A screenshot of a frame from a Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 trailer in which all characters are dressed in stereotypically French attire. This particular screenshot features Alexandre Gillet as Gustave, who’s wearing round, gold rimmed sunglasses, a red beret, neck-length flowing wavy brown hair, a mustache and tightly trimmed beared, a white shirt with black horizontal stripes, and a red and white checkered sash over his left shoulder. The character is facing the camera, looking off-screen to the left.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Feb 27

This appears to be all the Democrats are capable of doing:

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Feb 8

Relatedly: x.com/BoringBiz_/s...

Boring_Business (@BoringBiz_ on Twitter): Three levels of wealth: No LinkedIn, LinkedIn, No LinkedIn

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Feb 5

noah kulwin on X: "If you have a computer science degree you are presumed stupid until further notice. If you know how to code then I will believe you are illiterate unless proven otherwise. Only safe way forward.” The quoted tweet from “Forever Wario” reads, “The safeguard is impeachment? Aren’t these guys supposed to be smart?” and includes a screenshot of username tszzl saying, “the way the executive is structured should be way more freeform and open to interpretation by the sitting president. why not have a senior advisor with access to treasury? there are tons of unelected powers in government. the safeguard is impeachment”

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Jan 26

You’re very welcome! I’ve been lowkey obsessed with this bird after seeing one slink by near The Pond in Central Park last September 🤩🥹

A photo of a black-crowned night-heron, a small bird with distinctive red eye, white-gray body, and black top standing on a slab of rock along the shoreline of a large pond. The bird is facing to the right and is looking to slink away sneakily.

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Jan 19

Ed, I’m ethically compelled to note that Desus cooked here x.com/desusnice/st...

A tweet from Desus MF Nice 💯 that says, "the real tiktok is the sound of the clock that ticks while god decides if you’re living in a way that glorifies his image”

Joseph Kohlmann@jkohlmann· Dec 17