J. M. Brister 🌻

@jmbrister

❤️Emotionally devastating romance author ♿️Metal’s biggest homebound cheerleader 😁The Nicest Person on the Internet* *conditions apply

1,073 Following1,889 Followers721 Posts

Bluesky

Is this your profile?Claim it and jmbrister.dirty.social is yours.Claim profile

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· 7d

💙📚 Happy release day! Get your copy for KU, Kindle, & paperback. 🌶️📚 This is my most ambitious book, & though it's a romance, it's sci-fi adjacent that's suspenseful with dry humor sprinkled in. Main theme: your past doesn't define your morality. 🔗 a.co/d/0eWR6DCX #Books #Romance #Reading

Book cover for Mechanical Soldier by J. M. Brister. A black-and-white image of a muscular shirtless man is centered against a dark, textured background. The title Mechanical Soldier appears across his torso, with "Mechanical" in white script and "Soldier" in bright teal block letters. In the upper right corner, text reads "Book Six of the Gray Tower Series." The author's name, J. M. Brister, appears in large white letters at the bottom. The overall design has a gritty, suspenseful, contemporary romance feel.

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· 11d

From the author who specializes in dangerous cinnamon roll MMCs... Wicked Fascination 🔥 A standalone spicy romance 🔥 by J. M. Brister Protector 💙📚 Forced Proximity 🌶️📚 Slow Burn 🔗 amzn.to/3kaYZ6L #Author #Books #Romance #Writing

Book ad for Wicked Fascination by J. M. Brister. A dramatic black-and-white image shows a woman and man facing each other closely, their faces nearly touching. White text reads, “She was hiding from a monster. She didn’t expect to find safety with him.” The title Wicked Fascination appears near the bottom with the author name beneath it.

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· 27d

From the author who specializes in dangerous cinnamon roll MMCs... Perilous Games (Gray Tower Series Book 3) A standalone spicy romance 🔥 by J. M. Brister 💙📚 Beauty & the Beast · Enemies to Lovers · Bodyguard · Grumpy/Sunshine 🌶️📚 🔗 amzn.to/2qPQwyl #Author #Books #Romance #Writing

Book ad for Perilous Games by J. M. Brister. A dramatic, low-lit close-up shows a shirtless man from behind with his arms pulled behind his back. His right shoulder and upper arm are scarred, and white text reads, “He was dangerous enough. Getting close made it worse.” The title Perilous Games appears near the bottom with the author name below it.

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Jul 16

From the author who specializes in dangerous cinnamon roll MMCs... Troubled Paradise (Gray Tower Series Book 2) A standalone spicy romance 🔥 by J. M. Brister 💙📚 Enemies to Lovers · Pretend Girlfriend · Grumpy/Sunshine 🌶️📚 🔗 amzn.to/2GCJOQC #Author #Books #Romance #Writing

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Jul 1

🌶️📚 From the author who specializes in dangerous cinnamon roll MMCs... Dark Prison (Gray Tower Series Book 1) A standalone spicy romance 🔥 by J. M. Brister 💙📚 Protector Romance · Soft-but-Lethal Hero · Slow Burn 🔗 amzn.to/2Uf7QX3 #Author #Books #Romance #Writing

Promotional graphic for the romantic suspense novel Dark Prison by J. M. Brister. A moody, close-up photograph shows a man and woman leaning in, their faces inches apart as if about to kiss, lit by soft backlighting against a dark background. Large white text reads, "HE WASN'T LOOKING FOR TROUBLE. HE JUST FOUND HER INSTEAD." Below, the title "DARK PRISON" appears in large bold letters, followed by "J. M. BRISTER." Small attribution at the bottom reads, "Original photo by Юра Гроссман, licensed from Pexels."

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Jun 22

💙📚 COVER REVEAL 🌶️📚 I'm so excited to finally share the cover for Mechanical Soldier, done by @thecovercollection.bsky.social ! It's been two and a half years since my last release, & I'm so happy that my new book will be out in August: a.co/d/0eWR6DCX #Author #Books #Romance #Writing

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· May 17

From the author who specializes in dangerous cinnamon roll MMCs... Manic Deception (Book 5 Gray Tower Series) A standalone spicy romance 🔥 by J. M. Brister Secret Identity 💙📚 Masked Man 🌶️📚 Double Life 🔗 amzn.to/3hqswsN #Author #Books #Romance #Writing

A dark promotional book ad shows a close-up black-and-white image of a hooded man staring forward, his face partly hidden in shadow beneath the hood. White text at the top reads, “She went looking for a masked vigilante. She found a man with secrets dangerous enough to destroy them both.” At the bottom, the title “Manic Deception” appears above the author name, “J. M. Brister.”

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· May 10

Rainbow pictures from yesterday evening after a thunderstorm. And yes, we were lucky to catch a double rainbow. ❤️ #photography #weather #happy

A vertical photo of a bright rainbow ending near sunlit trees in a suburban neighborhood, with houses, lawns, and a dark tree framing the scene.

A bright rainbow arches across a pale evening sky over a quiet suburban neighborhood with houses, green trees, and a dark-leaved tree framing the right side.

A vivid rainbow, with a faint second rainbow beside it, appears over suburban rooftops and spring trees lit by warm evening sunlight.

A wide view of a rainbow descending into golden-lit trees above neighborhood rooftops, with dark clouds on one side and soft evening light on the other.

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· May 4

🎧 Here is my April Top Tracks. I bounced back and forth between emotionally devastating music and thundering heavy-hitters. Such a good month for music. 🖤 #metal #metalmusic #music

Graphic with a cream background, thin black border, and bold black title reading “APRIL TOP TRACKS.” Smaller red text says “Apple Music,” and a red badge says “1–10.” A ranked list shows: 1. Fields of Elysium — Lömsk. 2. Submerged — Gaerea. 3. Giant’s Eternal Sleep — Grima. 4. Drone Corpse Aviator — Archspire. 5. The Infallible God — Nazghor. 6. Golden Mouth of Ruin — Archspire. 7. Of Iron and Blood — Lömsk. 8. Godhood — Humanity’s Last Breath. 9. Rational Gaze / Sum (live) — vildhjarta. 10. Born in Dissonance — Meshuggah.

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Apr 28

Sir, I was wearing that jacket, but okay then. #cats #siamesecat

A Siamese cat with a dark face and large pointed ears rests sleepily on a dark gray blanket, staring toward the camera with half-closed eyes. The background is softly blurred, making the cat look extra cozy and dramatic.

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Apr 24

✨✨Check out Unceasing Vengeance (Book Four Gray Tower Series) · A standalone, spicy romance!✨✨ Enemies to Lovers 💙📚 Bodyguard 🌶️📚 Grumpy/Sunshine 🔗 amzn.to/2SJ4GQi #Author #Books #Romance #Writing #WritingCommunity

A dark, moody promotional book ad shows a man standing in shadow with his head lowered, wearing a dark hoodie and a black cap. Most of his face is hidden, giving him a secretive, undercover look. The background is nearly black with deep teal tones, creating a suspenseful atmosphere. Large white text near the top reads, “She ruined his mission. Now he has to keep her alive.” Near the bottom, the title “Unceasing Vengeance” appears in large white serif letters, with the author name “J. M. Brister” below it in smaller white text.

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Apr 23

It’s actually so beautiful that I came out of my hermit cave and enjoyed the day. The red maple on the front is getting its leaves, and I am so happy. It’s such a gorgeous tree.

Sunlight shines through a tall red maple tree with deep burgundy leaves against a bright blue sky, viewed from below looking up through the branches.

A woman in oversized black sunglasses relaxes outside in bright afternoon sun, wearing white earbuds and a gray tank top, with a soft black-and-white cushion behind her.

Sunlight shines over a leafy green tree with small pink blossoms beside a white house, set against a bright blue sky with a few clouds.

A weathered stone frog garden decoration with bright green glass eyes sits on brown mulch in direct sunlight, with small pebbles set into its back.

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Jan 5

I didn't realize this was an option, but hey, it's good to have choices. I guess? 🤣 🪵🪓🪵🪓🪵🪓🪵🪓 #darkhumor #dankmemes #funny #humor #lol #meme #memes

Meme: Picture of a black herse towing a yellow woodchipper. The text reads, "Apparently there's a third option between burial and cremation."

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Jan 2

We all know deep down that the spring mix we promise to eat is going to end up in the vegetable hospice. Just leave it be at the store. Save it from a rotten death. 🥬 🥕 🫑 🥦🫛 🫜 #dankmemes #food #funny #healthy #humor #lol #meme #memes #yummy

A white vegetable drawer in the refrigerator. The name is scratched out and say, "Vegetable Hospice" instead of its normal label.

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Dec 24

Trying to get a selfie moment with Teddy, and he is NOT having it. 🤣

OP with long dark hair and a warm expression poses for a selfie while holding a fluffy Siamese cat with light fur and dark ears. The cat, named Teddy, looks slightly grumpy, adding humor and contrast to the affectionate moment.

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Dec 5

I may be able to write well, but my verbal skills just aren't there. They knew what I meant, right? 🤣 ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ #dankmemes #fun #funny #humor #life #lol #meme #memes

A Meme of a guy in a green hoodie and khaki pants with a brown hat walking off a cliff. The text reads: "Cashier: The receipt is in the bag. Me: You too."

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Oct 6

This diagram does have a point. Cats and inkjet printers DO have a lot in common. #cats #cat #fun #funny #humor #lol #meme

Meme: Venn Diagram with a cat looking at it. Left side is "cat." Right side is "inkjet printer." The middle lists: moody, spend a lot of time self-cleaning, unreliable, demand feeding when container is full, ignore requests."

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Oct 3

Why is my brain like this? Just let me be happy. 😂 #dankmeme #fun #funny #humor #lol #meme #memes

Meme: Two pictures, top and bottom. The top picture: A person on the beach, drawing in the sand, the waves coming in. Text: My brain recording my good memories. The bottom picture: A person carving letters into stone. Text: My brain recording my cringe memories.

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Sep 23

My life is Skyrim. I usually never finish the main quest, but you'd better believe I gathered all those herbs for the farmer. I have my priorities straight. #dankmeme #dankmemes #follow #followme #fun #funny #humor #like #lol #love #meme #memes

Meme: Car Ad meme with the two cartoon guys negotiating on a car. However, instead of a car, it's a giant brain. Text: *Slaps roof of my brain* "This bad boy can go on so many side questions."

(Meme spelling and grammar edited for screen reader clarity.)

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Sep 20

My blue-eyed boy, posing for the camera. He absolutely loves taking pictures. Photo by my daughter. ❤️ #Caturday #cats #cat #siamesecats #animal #animals #catlover #pets #PetLovers #picoftheday #photo #photography #photooftheday

A seal point Siamese cat is lying on its side, blue eyes looking into the camera. His head is sitting on an elementary math book. A peach-colored bin is in the background.

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Sep 19

🎧 He didn't have to go that hard. But he did. He did it for us. #dankmeme #dankmemes #follow #followme #fun #funny #humor #like #lol #love #meme #memes #music

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Sep 14

I don't even know what's up there. I'm not checking. But it must be important, and I can never get rid of it. #dankmeme #dankmemes #follow #followme #fun #funny #humor #like #lol #love #meme #memes

Meme: Text at top: "These cabinets are for things you never use but don't want to throw out." Picture of standard white refrigerator with honey oak cabinets on top of them, out of reach from most other things.

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Sep 11

He was born for the job and practice all his life. Now, it is his time... #cat #cats #memes #meme #dankmemes #funny #dankmeme #humor #lol #funny #cathumor

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Sep 8

What was that crash? Do I want to know? I should check. But I'm so comfortable. But it sounded expensive. Maybe I don't want to know? CRASH. BOOM. CRASH. And I'm up. #cat #cats #dankmeme #dankmemes #follow #followme #fun #funny #humor #instacool #like #lol #love #meme #memes #pets

Meme: Kermit the Frog picture on its side. Kermit's eyes are wide. Text at top: "When you're trying to fall asleep but hear your cat destroying everything you own." Text in picture: "This MF."

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Sep 5

Stop everything. The best music from my youth is on. #90s #90smusic #bestoftheday #dankmeme #dankememes #follow #funny #humor #instadaily #laugh #like #lol #love #meme #memes #millennial #music #smile #TonyHawk #TonyHawkProSkater

A scene from American Psycho where Christian Bale's character is pointing to his elaborate 80s stereo setup while wearing a clear rain poncho. The text reads: "Me when a song comes on that was also on Tony Hawk's Pro Skater"

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Sep 2

It doesn't even have to be the wrong pillow. It can be the right pillow. My neck doesn't care. #1900s #bestoftheday #dankmeme #dankmemes #follow #followme #fun #funny #genx #humor #instacool #like #lol #love #meme #memes #millennials #old #smile #vintage

Meme: Text at the top says, "When your date of birth starts with 19 and you sleep on the wrong pillow." Text at the bottom, "My body is broken." Picture is of Theodon from Lord of the Rings looking sad and in pain talking to his daughter, Eowyn (mostly off picture).

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Aug 8

Me, sitting next to the hubby on the couch, grinning as I send him a meme and waiting to see when he finally starts laughing. Or groaning. Or shaking his head in disbelief. #follow #fun #funny #life #lol #smile #memes #meme #dankmemes #funnymemes #dankmeme #funnymeme #humor #funnyposts #funny

A woman lying down on a couch or chair (unsure). She appears relaxed, happy, and about to say something.

At the top it says, "When you've just shared a meme with your spouse who is five feet away from you."

In the picture at the bottom it says, "Read it. It'll change your life."

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Aug 5

The new intern: This picture will be perfect! The Gen Z editor: Looks good to me. Let's run it. All the people with crackling knees: This is the funniest thing I've ever seen. #bestoftheday #dankememe #follow #fun #funny #humor #laugh #like #lol #meme #memes #roadtrip #smile #summer #travel

The top reads: "Please enjoy this stock photo the local CBS affiliate chose for a story about traffic this summer."

The picture is of the iconic OJ Simpson white Bronco chase from the 90s where the Bronco is out in front and a group of late model police cars are chasing it down the highway, lights on. The article is titled, "Millions expected to travel this Memorial Day, breaking 20-year-old record."

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Aug 2

Most relatable post I've seen in a while. Just get the gas now. Tomorrow you will thank you. #bestoftheday #follow #followme #fun #funny #instadaily #life #lol #smile #memes #meme #memesdaily #memelife #dankmemes #funnymemes #dankmeme #funnymeme #humor #funnyposts #funny

Picture of Anakin Skywalker looking distressed. Top of the meme says: "Me yesterday: 'I'll stop and get gas in the morning.' Me this morning:" And then the bottom of the pictures says, "What have I done."

J. M. Brister 🌻@jmbrister· Jul 2

I didn't slide the label over on our dishwasher far enough. My husband walked by it and asked, "Is this Schrödinger's dishwasher?" And I was like, "Yes, the dishwasher is both clean and dirty until you open it. Enjoy." #funny #followme #life #lol #meme #memes #science