Jonathan Harris

@jonathan-a-thon

Writer and producer for The Internet's "Some More News" and "Even More News."

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Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· 28d

One of these people is being punished and the other isn't. Weird!

Trump promoted companies on Truth Social days after buying their stocks

White House teleprompter operator made more than $100K betting on Trump's speeches: Sources

Subhead: Gabriel Perez is in settlement talks with federal regulators, the sources said.

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· 28d

So much here. Gonna be a short thread. Rogan's evidence that the L.A. primary was "super sus" – as he very youthfully says several times – is that L.A. voted for a sales tax increase to fund hospitals and health insurance for low-income people. That's it! They voted for something he wouldn't have!

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· 28d

The kids on that beach who sustained hearing damage will be humbled to learn that Pete Hegseth thinks they are Low-T.

Pete Hegseth: The flyovers will continue until morale improves.

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· 29d

Oh shit, really? Thanks, Grok – it's very important to me to keep up with the latest breaking news.

Hillary Clinton Says 'Pokemon Go to the Polls' at Rally in Annandale, Virginia

Last updated 6 minutes ago

Hillary Clinton urged supporters to 'Pokemon Go to the polls' during a campaign rally in Annandale, Virginia. The line referenced the popular Pokemon Go mobile game.

This story is a summary of posts on X and may evolve over time. Grok can make mistakes, verify its outputs.

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· 29d

The full UFO sequence. He's so full of shit. He's like "I'm obsessed but haven't had time to look" and Rogan's like "Really? You think there are aliens but you're choosing not to look?" and then he's like "Actually someone would have told me if there were aliens so I don't think there are anymore."

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jul 14

Mitchell: “Hey, guys, is there any way you can keep doing all the stuff we told you to do but without murdering people?” Webb: “…yeah, hmmmm, dunno. That’s- withOUT murdering people?” Mitchell: “Right, so it’s like… exactly what you’re doing now but without the murder.”

Mitchell and Webb in the “Bigger Spoon” sketch

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jul 12

<stepping up to tearfully deliver a eulogy for one of my closest allies> “He’s dead! So sad!”

Truth Social post from Trump: “Senator Lindsey Graham, one of the greatest people and Senators I have ever known, is dead! He was always working, and was a true American Patriot. Lindsey will be greatly missed!!! DETAILS AND ARRANGEMENTS TO FOLLOW. So sad! President DONALD J. TRUMP”

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jul 12

I’m haven’t been following the particulars, but it’s very clear that Elon is asking Grok for “epic roasts” in the ongoing spat.

Elon responding to Sam Altman with “maybe you can come see [space datacenters] if your parole officer approves.

After stealing an open source AI charity, you then stole all of Apples phone technology! Wow.

What do you plan for an encore? That’s tough to beat.”

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jul 10

Who says you couldn't make The Office today?

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jul 10

Grok can't tell the difference between certain names, it seems.

Grok summary:

Jayson Tatum Criticizes NBA Agents for Exploiting Young Players' Finances

Boston Celtics star Jayson Tatum publicly called out agents, CPAs, lawyers, and managers for predatory practices that lead many athletes to financial ruin after retirement.

A post from "dank" on Twitter: "Jaylen Brown says 60% of NBA players lose most of their wealth because the agency model broken

“I hope I ruffle all the motherfucking feathers. The agency model isn't working. It's a bunch of players going broke when they retire. It's like..."

Below the text is a two-minute video clip of Jaylen Brown (not Jayson Tatum) talking about this stuff.

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jul 9

Christopher Rufo, sharing a June 2020 post from Zohran Mamdani that says "Take it down." with a picture of him giving the finger to a statue of Christopher Columbus: "Mamdani has always had a seething hatred for Italians. Here's a post from the George Floyd era calling to take down a statue of Columbus. The hatred of Italians is the hatred of beauty, culture, exploration, and genius—which is unbearable for many DSA dirtbags."

Silvio on The Sopranos saying "It's anti Italian discrimination"

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jul 8

This AI-generated summary of Amazon reviews of bug repellant spray has me now wondering what would make a spray bottle convenient or inconvenient "for women to handle."

The AI-generated summary of reviews of a peppermint spray to repel bugs:

Customers appreciate the insect repellent's natural ingredients as an alternative to chemicals and find it safe for humans, pets, and plants. The product has a pleasant scent and is easy to use, with one customer noting it's particularly convenient for women to handle. The effectiveness and spray performance receive mixed feedback - while some say it works great, others report it doesn't work at all and the sprayer doesn't work well. Moreover, the strength and value for money also get mixed reviews, with some finding it too weak to handle serious pest problems and considering it not worth the cost.

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jul 7

I’d believe you at this point if you told me Libs of TikTok was a plant to secure million dollar payouts after wrongful termination lawsuits.

Libs of TikTok:

“UPDATE: she just scrubbed her entire account

Don’t worry

We have all the receipts!

You can contact principal Brian Cox here:”

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jul 4

Walter Sobchak in The Big Lebowski saying “No Donny, these men are cowards”

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jul 4

I’m sorry, this is not how the CEO of a movie theater company writes. And it’s exactly how ChatGPT writes. Why would he specify which two families are being joined together?

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jul 4

Swift’s team made him immediately delete this because they all signed NDAs not to reveal anything, but I’d like to think it’s because it’s obviously written by ChatGPT. This guy’s the CEO of a company! Pathetic.

A deleted tweet from the CEO of AMC Theaters, clearly written by ChatGPT, describing Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s wedding.

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jul 2

Amazing that the new super manly right-wing thing is to say you're a big baby who can't be mildly uncomfortable for a single second.

Matt Walsh @MattWalshBlog:
"78 degrees? My AC does not go above 68 in the summer. This is America for God’s sake."

It's a quote tweet of Mayor Zohran Mamdani:
"New York: it's hot out there, and the power grid is working overtime to keep us cool.

Set your AC to 78 degrees, turn off lights/electronics you're not using, and unplug what you can..."

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jul 1

Freshman Year. It's 1 am on a Friday. Your roommate brings his friends back to the dorm and you just want them to shut up so you can sleep.

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jun 30

When you understand how analogies work:

@BasedMikeLee: "If a woman gives birth at the Supreme Court, is her baby entitled to automatic status as a justice?"

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jun 29

Really the most honest president we've ever had sometimes.

From a January 2026 NYT interview with Donald Trump.

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jun 26

Does... does Donald Trump think people from other countries get OUR passports to come here?

A Truth Social post from the president:
"The U.S.A.’s New Passport, which says, “Welcome, but be good!” President DJT"

And it's got an image of a Passport with a big gold 250 on the right and an image of Trump with his fists on the resolute desk on the left, over the Declaration of Independence.

It's got his little pedophile signature under it.

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jun 26

Guy who hasn't had a real job in more than a decade talking about things that don't work.

Andrew Yang: "I, like most Americans, think that the average family and young person deserves a better shot at a decent life. I also think that socialism doesn’t work in real life, that America is good and filled with good people, and that it’s okay to work with people who don’t agree with me."

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jun 26

Leonard Nimoy on The Simpsons teleporting away after not having done anything.

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jun 25

Damn, the algo shows you ONE POST about how you're a mass murderer and all of a sudden you want to throw the whole thing in the scrap heap.

Elon Musk tweet: "We need a complete overhaul of the algorithm"

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jun 25

No thanks!

An email telling me I have "Early access to X Money"
Send, receive, and spend on X. Tap to get started.

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jun 25

I'm not a lawyer... but this by Alito is gibberish, right? The administration also canceled TPS for all these other non-white people, so it must just be that they hate immigration (for some amorphous political reason) and not because of racism? www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/25p...

In offering the cited statements as proof that the termination of Haiti’s TPS termination was motivated by race,
Miot respondents seek to capitalize on the statements’
heated language. Political discourse by prominent public
figures is increasingly couched in terms that would have
scandalized the public just a short time ago, and the statements cited by Miot respondents—especially those concerning Haiti and Haitian immigrants to this country—exemplify this development.
But whatever one may think of the cited statements, they
are insufficient to show that the termination of Haiti’s TPS
designation was based on the race of the Haitian people.
Ironically, both Doe and Miot respondents identify a strong,
race-neutral explanation of these officials’ statements: the
present administration’s general stance on immigration
and its obvious antipathy toward past administrations’ TPS
policies. Respondents argue that the Secretary made a
“preordained decision” to end TPS for all countries, Brief for
Respondents in No. 25–1083, p. 49, and they stress that she
terminated the TPS designations for every country that
came up for review, 13 in all. Id., at 9–10; Brief for Respondents in No. 25–1084, p. 10. Included are nations in

East Asia (Nepal and Burma), Central Asia (Afghanistan),
the Middle East (Syria and Yemen), Africa (Somalia, Ethiopia, South Sudan, and Cameroon), Central America (Nicaragua and Honduras), South America (Venezuela), and
the Caribbean (Haiti).
Most would regard this as a racially diverse group of
countries, but Miot respondents see them all as “non-white”
nations. Ibid. They claim that TPS has not been terminated for any predominantly white nation, and they therefore infer that the reason for the termination of the TPS
designation for Haiti was having a predominantly nonwhite population.
Respondents’ definition of a predominantly non-white nation is broad, apparently encompassing major European
countries. See Tr. of Oral Arg. 106–108. It may be that only
the termination of a TPS designation for a Nordic or Germanic country would be sufficient in their judgment to show
that the Secretary’s unbroken record of TPS terminations
was race-neutral. However, no such test case has come up
during the present administration. Only one European nation—Ukraine—had a TPS designation when the President
began his second term, and that country’s TPS designation
has not yet come up for review. See 90 Fed. Reg. 5936
(2025) (extending Ukraine TPS designation through October 19, 2026). The only other European states ever designated for TPS were the war-torn provinces of Kosovo and
Bosnia-Herzegovina.6 The great majority of countries
granted TPS have ranked among the poorest nations of the
world, and no European nation falls into that category.
Viewing all the relevant evidence, we conclude that Miot
respondents are unlikely to prove that race was a motivating factor in the decision to terminate Haiti’s TPS

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jun 24

The fake thing I made up will one day be known as certainly as the fake thing I made up.

Rep. Thomas Massie: "Feds placed the pipe bombs and fomented the demonstrations on January 6, 2021. One day this will be known as certainly as the fact that COVID was the result of U.S. funded lab research."

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jun 24

Villians (can't remember who they are) trapped in the Phantom Zone, which is like a diamond-shaped 2d pane of glass in space, from Superman II (I think?)

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jun 24

I regret to inform me that The Bluesky Joke Understanders have found my post.

Doc Brown in Back To The Future saying "They found me. I don't know how, but they found me."

Jonathan Harris@jonathan-a-thon· Jun 24

You know how to vote blue, you just don’t know how to do it *no matter who*, and doing it no matter who is really the most important part of the voting blue.