This really happened - our worst-ever President delivered this diabolical command to Attorney-General William Barr - with the caveat that, due to the absence of rational criminal charges, they were invented for the reader's convulsive-entertainment by the rapier-witted writers at KleinLeaks.com:

Here's some late-breaking news from the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com:

Explained the editor of the nakedly-partisan and not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com, "By covering-up the Epstein Files, the President is protecting, from charges of child-rape and sex-trafficking, the one culprit to whom he's loyal: himself!"

Depending on the case, he also enjoys lying-scumbag/attorney privilege, seditious-traitor/attorney privilege, and absolute-monstrosity/attorney privilege. (Courtesy of the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com)

This "unfortunate"-looking White House Chief-of-Staff flaunts a meteoric rise, from a lowly high-school hate-criminal to a lofty federal criminal-against-humanity. As proudly stated by his parents Michael and Miriam: "we have no son!" (Courtesy of the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com)

As recommended by the nakedly-partisan and not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com:

As strongly recommended by the nakedly-partisan and not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com:

Explained the editor of the nakedly-partisan and not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com, "By covering-up the Epstein Files, the President is protecting, from charges of child-rape and sex-trafficking, the one culprit to whom he's most loyal: himself!"

"As everybody knows," belched the President, grabbing the vagina of a terrified reporter, "that World Cup game was a hoax. As everybody knows, it was the biggest U.S. victory ever. I hereby demand its reversal, or else I'll level Belgium." (Courtesy of the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com)

To celebrate the USA on our 250th birthday, the nakedly-partisan KleinLeaks.com joyously observes the following:

He also enjoys lying-scumbag/attorney privilege, seditious-traitor/attorney privilege, and thuggish-monstrosity/attorney privilege. (Courtesy of the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com)

This really happened - America's worst-ever President delivered this diabolical command to Attorney-General William Barr - with the one caveat that, due to their absence, rational criminal charges were invented for the reader's convulsive entertainment by the rapier-witted writers at KleinLeaks.com

Here's some late-breaking news from the nakedly-partisan and not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com:

According to an admirer invented by our rapier-witted author: "Frau Collins poses as a moderate by (if needed) clearing with the GOP that they already have enough votes to withstand her stated 'objection' to our Nazi agenda. Heil Hitler!" (Courtesy of the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com)

"Plus," belched-out our current President, while trying to fondle a terrified reporter, "my Center will feature some of the best and most beautiful high-crimes-and-misdemeanors that I've ever committed. So I give Thanksgiving for myself." (Courtesy of the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com)

"Otherwise," he belched-out, suspending a promising nose-pick, "I'm leveling the next small country that I'm now bullying. Regarding Iran," he continued, seeking a new vagina to grab, "I've shown them how to face a ridiculous blowhard." (Courtesy of the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com)

This "unfortunate"-looking White House Chief-of-Staff flaunts a meteoric ascent, from a high-school anti-Latino hate-criminal to a federal criminal-against-humanity. That's why his parents Michael and Miriam proudly say "we have no son!" (Courtesy of the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com)

This "unfortunate"-looking White House Chief-of-Staff flaunts a meteoric ascent, from a high-school anti-Latino hate-criminal to a federal criminal-against-humanity. That's why his parents Michael and Miriam proudly say "we have no son!" (Courtesy of the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com)

After withdrawing several fingers from his nose, Acting Attorney-General Todd Blanche belched-out that "happily, we've tracked down a ringleader of radical-leftist gasoline 'mal-pumpers, so please Mr. President, don't throw me down a well." (Courtesy of the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHE GUEVARA! Ironically, June 14 is also the birthday of Che's diametrical opposite: a two-legged rectal peon to the greed and hatred against which Che fought, and died. (Courtesy of the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com)

Here's the latest news from the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com:

"CONGRATULATIONS! With no ethical bone in your body, feel free to loot the U.S. Treasury! And with the resources of the Presidency, shake down anybody you want, manipulate stock prices, and sell off privileges to your backers! PARTY DOWN!" (Courtesy of the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com)

Here's a look at the lighter side of America's worst-ever President, brought to you by the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com:

Here's a late-breaking newscast from the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com:

Sure: a brain concussion normally produces headaches, nausea, dizziness, vomiting, and other foreboding symptoms. But neither teammates nor friends anticipated the horror of what awaited them from Jaxson Dart's recent injury: (Courtesy of the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com)

Sure: a brain concussion normally produces headaches, nausea, dizziness, vomiting, and other foreboding symptoms. But neither teammates nor friends anticipated the horror of what awaited them from Jaxson Dart's recent injury: (Courtesy of the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com)

(Courtesy of the not-even-close-to-reliable KleinLeaks.com)