Josiah Hawthorne

@josiahhawthorne

I'm not Young, Restless, or Reformed -- I'm Old, Exhausted, and (Ana)baptist. Half Took, Half Baggins. #ADHD. He/him.

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My big camping trip for the year might have to be canceled because of APOCALYPTIC smoke and diarrhea lettuce. Screw it, I’m having a drink. (2 parts vodka, 1 part triple sec, 1 part limoncello, 1 tbs sugar, dash of lime juice, MOAR CITRUS via lemon and orange slices) Err… AMA?

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· 28d

Eric Metaxas was outraged because an air quality alert suggested he limit outdoor activity. "How dare they say that. who has the right to tell me or you or anyone anything? It's a free country. I can do whatever I want."

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· 29d

I'm going to be staring at this chart for a while.

A chart showing that the mean mainline congregant is a ideological moderate while the mean mainline clergyperson is center-left.

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 15

As a matter of fact, Mr. Miller, no I am not.

Stephen Miller: "Are you enjoying America's new Diarrhea Age?" (It was originally Golden Age.)

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 15

Dwight from the office in his various disguises -- and here those disguises are labeled "the Center for Baptist Leadership," "the North American Anglican," "American Reformer," and "New Founding."

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 14

There is no such thing as a self-made man. (Sorry, I saw some blowhard hammering the "The rich are rich because they work hard! The poor are poor because they won't work!" myth, and it's got me preachin'.)

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 14

Tennessee v. Garner (1984) “Where the suspect poses no immediate threat to the officer and no threat to others, the harm resulting from failing to apprehend him does not justify the use of deadly force.”

Homeland Security
@DHSgov
On July 13, 2026, at approximately 7:00
AM ET, ICE was conducting targeted surveillance on the last known address of an illegal alien with a final order of removal. An illegal alien departed the residence in a vehicle. ICE law enforcement attempted to conduct a vehicle stop. The vehicle attempted to flee the scene and, fearing for public safety, an officer discharged his weapon.
The driver of the vehicle was struck, and emergency services were immediately contacted. He passed away from his injuries.

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 12

I always assumed "half-tribe" had to do with that it took Manasseh and Ephraim together to make up the tribe of Joseph, but in context, wow -- yeah it's location based. It's the two-and-a-half tribes that didn't need to cross the Jordan to take possession of their territories.

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 12

“The simple truth is, not all of us become the men we once hoped we might be.“

Captain Jack Aubrey giving Hollom’s eulogy from Master And Commander

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 11

Something like this?

Jenna from 30 Rock says "Listen up, Young Restless and Reformed. An actual Dort Calvinist is speaking."

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 10

(The hyperCalvinists are saying that it's wrong to tell a random stranger "Jesus loves you" because you don't know if it's true or not.) (*sigh*)

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 10

Almost a year later, but final results: (I ended up making two for my mom, in addition to the beefy one for me.)

Purple Heart cane handle with ebonized Hickory shaft, joined with a brass collar and two brass nails

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 9

Funny how we never get a "George Macdonald Study Bible."

I desire to wake no dispute, will myself dispute with no man, but for the sake of those whom certain believers trouble, I have spoken my mind. I love the one God seen in the face of Jesus Christ. From all copies of Jonathan Edwards's portrait of God, however faded by time, however softened by the use of less glaring pigments, I turn with loathing. Not such a God is he concerning whom was the message John heard from Jesus, that he is light, and in him is no darkness at all.

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 9

Habemus reginam! *puffs white smoke from his smoker*

A small cluster of worker brood, in a beehive I removed the queen from a month ago. This means they raised a new queen bee, she mated successfully without getting eaten by a bird or dragonfly, and she’s laying eggs.

I’ve been fairly hands-off with this bees this summer so it’s good to see everything is chugging along as it should.

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 8

I can't get no sa tis fac tion

Reepicheep, knight of the Order of the Lion in the kingdom of Narnia, who never does seem to get to fight a duel to the death for the sake of his honor. Not for lack of trying.

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 8

I'm reminded of this line, right after the 2024 election:

From New York to San Francisco, Donald Trump's return to the White House has greenlighted a corporate cultural regression, instantaneously allowing companies to backtrack on years of climate goals and diversity and inclusion efforts with the anti-woke politico on the horizon.

Wall Street brokers and tech bros alike are celebrating the switch, claiming that they no longer feel the need to culturally consider women, minorities, or disabled people while they talk, reported the Financial Times.

"I feel liberated," one top banker told the paper. "We can say 'retard' and 'pussy' without the fear of getting cancelled.… It's a new dawn."

Those working in New York's financial sector also feel that they can ditch their social causes. A number of major Wall Street banks and money managers have quit industry groups focused on climate change and cutting carbon emissions, feeling that they instead can go full-throttle on making money without facing social repercussions.

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 8

Top-tier community note.

Stephen King
@StephenKing
Tell you what--if you knew the whole truth about everyone in the Senate and House of Reps, those chambers would be dead empty. Jesus said, "Let him without sin cast the first stone."
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
This is referring to Graham Platner, who has been accused of rape. In John 8:7, the woman to be stoned to death was accused of adultery, not rape. It is understood to be a powerful statement against hypocrisy, not a free-pass for politicians to rape women.

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 7

I liked this suit. And money’s tight (as usual). So I’d rather go for tailoring. But I’m sure “taking it in” has practical limits. You can only adjust the structure so far before the shape starts looking all wrong… right?

Me in my now-baggy suit jacket. This thing was tailor-fit to me once. (I’m wearing it for demonstration purposes, so ignore the fact that I’m wearing it with shorts and sandals.)

Me showing how much space there is inside my suit jacket, because there’s less of me now.

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 7

Home Simpson saying "Stupid Sexy George Costanza" instead of "Stupid Sexy Flanders." It's because of the photoshop of how George Costanza would look with a shaved head and a beard.

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 7

The U.S. playing corrupt politics in the World Cup but STILL losing... is some good dramatic narrative. It's that moment in the swordfight against the villain where the villain pulls out a hidden dagger to cheat, but the hero is still able to win.

The villain pulls a hidden dagger, The Three Musketeers (1993)

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 6

*nods sagely* It is not a party in the USA right now. Please scream inside your heart.

Miley Cyrus said she doesn't sing "Party in the USA" right now because of Trump, saying, "It is not a party in the USA right now."

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 3

What's wild is that the original "Fundamentalists" would have been just fine with Mamdani voters in their churches.

"The church leaves its members free to adopt or reject Socialism as they may deem wise. A man may be an ardent Socialist and a sincere Christian, or he may be a true Christian and a determined opponent of Socialism."

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 3

13 years ago today, this is how my wife and I announced to social media that our first kid was on his way. (Now he's a six foot tall preteen who eats all my jerky, lol)

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 2

We now go live to the Great American State Fair...

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 2

I think I have a… slime mold? …growing in the mulch and around my irrigation drip line, in my pepper garden. But also there’s a spider for some reason. And it wove webbing around the mold? I’m confused.

A weird cinnamon colored mass growing in the mulch, with spider webbing around it

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 1

from Monty Python: "I'm 37, I'm not old"

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 1

Same, same.

Josiah Hawthorne
@JosiahHawthorne
·
Feb 27, 2022
Me, fleeing Christian Nationalism, visiting a mainline church and seeing an American flag at the front of the sanctuary:

[image of Buffy the Vampire Slayer holding out a crucifix to ward off vampires]

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 1

Did she find her answer? Because I think I found what she's describing in an Irish Catholic workbook from the 70s ("Christ's Life In Us").

"Draw a circle around the one God loves the most."

https://clericalwhispers.blogspot.com/2011/06/who-did-god-love-most-in-1970s-baptised.html

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 1

Same guy:

Dow 36,000: The New Strategy for Profiting From the Coming Rise in the Stock Market is a book published in September 1999 by conservative syndicated columnist James K.
Glassman and conservative economist Kevin Hassett,"2) in which they argued that stocks in 1999 were significantly undervalued and concluded that there would be a fourfold
market increase with the Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA) to 36,000 by 2002 or 2004.131
The book was described as the "most spectacularly wrong investing book ever". 4. In the book, the authors argued that stocks did not have significantly greater risk than bonds in the long run and as investors came to that realization, stock prices would rise dramatically. 5l The authors expected the equity risk premium to dissipate, which never happened. 41 They also expected stocks to rise due to better fiscal and monetary policy, globalization, peace abroad and better corporate management. 6]

Josiah Hawthorne@josiahhawthorne· Jul 1

Oh. Well then.