Alan Smithee

@kane-highsinger

Incurable smart-ass. Incredibly masochistic sports fan. Scientist in a former life. Educator in the current one. Chairman of the International Federation of Rowdy Uncles- Great Lakes Council. Just as opinionated, but not nearly this chatty in person.

739 Following401 Followers3,391 Posts

Bluesky

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Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· 1d

Ho-lee-shit. It was all for you, Damien!

An image in the style of the early 2000's "Now that's what I call Music" compilation CDs that instead reads "Now that's what I call YIKES."

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· 16d

...any excuse to post this horrifying picture.

Utter sociopath on a flight from Orlando to Cincinnati with his shoes off and dogs resting on the cabin partition in front of him. Why yes, it's saved in my computer as "nasty bastard." Why would it not be?

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· 17d

Just to clarify, this IS the current administration and not McKinley or someone like that.

A dog appears to be looking at a computer screen in two pictures. In the upper picture, it says "what a lovely day on the inter-"
and the bottom picture, the dog's eyes seemingly filled with regret and locked onto yours, says "Good lord"

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· 18d

Same as it ever was.

A teminator style robot stalks a room, gun raised. A vaguely anime-ish girl is huddled under a desk, knees pulled in tight, eyes welling with tears. The girl is labeled "right wingers" and the robot is labeled "their own imaginations."

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· 26d

Oh D.B. you magnificent sonofabitch, you've done it again!

A police sketch of D.B. Cooper. Pictured in both dweeb mode (left) and cool mode (right).

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Jul 20

You. Don't. Say. Also, enjoy this amazing "great minds think alike" moment in the replies.

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Jul 15

Sigh. Tapping the sign. Again.

A sign reads: Your conclusion is based on your data.
Your data is NOT based on your conclusion.
Two lines of text are overlaid against a picture of a very well-used (an uninformed person might dare call it "cluttered") laboratory counter.

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Jul 9

It's a natural fit for Hillbilly Loaf!

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Jul 9

This was a section of the gift card kiosk at my Kroger. I think a lot of people are blissfully unaware of just how deeply entrenched this stuff is now.

A gift card section under the heading "Shopping & Entertainment" featuring cards from Draft Kings, Owners Box, Caesars, FanDuel, MGM, Riviera, NYRA, and most incredibly, something where you can order lottery tickets from your phone. At least for these particular cards you have to use cash or a debit card instead of an actual credit card. For now.

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Jun 25

this was about the point when they jumped the shark. Yikes (I realize who I'm talking to here, and I'm still hitting reply.)

A comic with four panels begins with "I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (oooo)"
then progresses to "I am four eels" then "Never meant to make your daughter cry" and finally "I am several fish and not a guy."
The web toon claims to be based on a tweet by @jnalv and is illustrated by @dami_lee from illustratedinternet.com

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Jun 12

Tapping the sign. Again.

A black and white picture of a bearded man pensively gazing through a mirror. The top text reads "Did I just argue with a joke?"
The bottom text states "Part of a Bluesky educational series."

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Jun 12

I think we all were reminded of a powerful message last night:

A sign that reads:
Presidents are temporary
Wu-Tang is FOREVER.

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Jun 1

Kicking it old school! Dazzle camo!

A WWI-era battleship painted in dazzle camouflage pattern designed to make its motion harder to accurately track.

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· May 31

Man, if I had a buck for every time I heard "I'm not racist, BUT (insert beliefs that are the textbook definition of white supremacy)."

Darth Maul firing up one blade of his lightsaber that says "I'm not racist" then the lower panel shows the other blade lighting up that simply says "BUT"

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· May 10

(sigh) People. Please.

A black and white picture of a man pensively looking at his reflection in a mirror. Palm images touching. The top text reads "Did I just argue with a joke?" while the bottom text says "part of a Bluesky educational series."

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Apr 29

Advertise your account with a Simpsons image

A TV screen at the end of the nuclear power plant recruitment video from episode 6, season 10 of The Simpsons displays the text "An Alan Smithee film."

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Apr 26

The Wanderers (1979)

A poster for the 1979 movie "The Wanderers" about a late 50's/early 60's gang in New York.

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Apr 3

No rock sub-genre was ever as enamored with its own musicality as prog, but damn those noodly dweebs could really nail an album cover.

The cover art for the Moody Blues album In Search of the Lost Chord. It's going to be hard to describe with words. There's a guy who might be the sun (and have 6 arms?) looming over both a skull on one side, and a fetus on the other, with a serious of aging people who may also be a tree? Oh, and the words "in search of the lost chord" melt into both images.

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Mar 23

It's giving similar vibes

A black & white photograph by Margaret Bourke-White titled "At the time of the Louisville flood. 1937). It shows over a dozen people (all of whom are black) in coats and many carrying bags lined up presumably waiting for something. Meanwhile looming in the background is a beaming white family in their car with the title "World's Highest Standard of Living" emblazoned across the top with the nearly taunting kicker off to the side "there's no way like the American way."

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Mar 21

Now that's good timeline synergy.

Two consecutive Bluesky posts. The first from Aaron Rupar recapping Trump's abysmal assholery. The second one from Skeets McGee wondering just how assholeic Trump's inevitable post will be.

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Mar 1

Every time I see a piece of their tacky self-aggrandizement, all I can think of is this:

A picture of the Fascist Party HQ in Rome (the Palazzo Braschi which is between Piazza Navona and Campo de Fiori, so there's a solid chance you've walked right past it as a tourist and is now the Museum of Rome) decked out with Mussolini's scowling mug to show citizens how to vote in 1934.

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Feb 28

(crashing plates & sad tympani sound)

A shot from Zelda: Breath of the Wild shows the text
Dubious Food
It's too gross to look at. A bizarre smell issues forth from this heap. Eating it won't hurt you though...probably
Overlaid on a picture of Link at a campfire with a pot over it.

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Feb 21

(sigh) Our parasite-riddled, roadkill munching, jeans workouting, ex-junkie overlords have axes to grind.

A person gazes at a city skyline while noting "what a stupid time to be alive." In an image from thisisn'thappiness.com who can be found on here at peteski.bsky.social

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Feb 16

Reading that description of THE Salmon P. Chase Center for Civics, Culture, and Society:

An image from an anatomy text featuring... let's just call it lateral and medial rotation of the forearm.

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Feb 16

More often than not (somehow).

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Jan 31

OH NO! He's even kinda making the face.

The famous "worst person you know" from the Onion headline "Heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made a great point." Because lest we forget, Urbs is a huge pos.

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Jan 30

This is either Tutwiler or Moorhead.

A picture of a "futuristic city" I got off of some tourism website. It's shiny glass and steel but still surprisingly verdant. Anyway, it's just a smartassed reply to a claim that the Mississippi Delta is chock full of cities. And before you think I'm making fun of it, my family for like five generations is from there.

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Jan 27

I'm certainly not saying that every aspect of the Italian government is worth replicating, but hear me out on this one...

A helicopter from the Guardia di Finanza sits in a plaza in central Rome

A Guardia di Finanza Subaru Crosstrek sits next to the Vatican. Because the finance cops are about that all-wheel drive life.

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Jan 26

Reminder, it is 100% legal to carry firearms in the Capitol buildings of over a dozen states. Like these guys in 2020 in Kentucky. But you can't have signs mounted on a stick inside. Because THAT would be a hazard. Pic is from a Rolling Stone article. www.rollingstone.com/politics/pol...

Gun rights activists carrying semi-automatic firearms pose for a photograph in the Capitol Building on January 31, 2020, in Frankfort, Kentucky. Pic from Getty Images.

Alan Smithee@kane-highsinger· Jan 18

The future renderings will probably have to include something like this on the way in: