trotskyist mr. beast

@kanesadas

colette, 30s, he/they, tme lesbian, white (🇵🇱). i like transformers, pre-2000 nerd stuff, being a snob about books, and posting about how i hate american exceptionalism. occasionally nsfw, please only interact with me if you're an adult.

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trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· 11d

we're making it Transpire...

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 31

last minute win lol

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 31

27. holy anorexia by rudolph m. bell (print, eng). ⭐⭐⭐⭐

haha whoo boy pinterest has taken me on a ride once again
i will say: i really appreciate reading this book. i think there is important work done/summarised here to highlight how patriarchal violence in the catholic church caused psychological damage to female believers, and how lack of proper support due to no understanding of eating disorders and neurodiversity just made everything worse.
this book is a risky proposition because it's written by a man and afterworded by a man, despite dealing specifically a pattern of disorders among catholic women. there is scholarship by women cited, and the author and the doctor from the afterword both seem aware that they're approaching the subject from a place of privilege in patriarchy, but i think it's still understandably a hard sell, especially since they like. well. they do freudian stuff in this, which is notoriously patriarchal lmao

the other issue is that it's a book from 1985 and even though i am not a psychologist at all i am certain that our understanding of eating disorders, managing them, and recovery have advanced at least a little in the past 40 years. there is a reliance on the model where a "stronger" authoritative male figure acts like a guide out of a disorder, and the analysis focuses on it in places.

HOWEVER i still think this is a very interesting and thought-provoking work if you're interested in catholicism, art history or italian history. though only a few examples are discussed in detail, there's plenty of information on them, and a lot of it comes from first-hand sources, including ones authored by the saints in question. there's a lot done to truly make the women subjects of study, not objects in history of the church, of that makes sense - even if i'd toss the freudian lens, i think the author treated them with respect as a historian. it would be so easy to write a similar book that's more leering and leans into being a freak show, but this book avoided it. i'm really glad i read it, i feel i have a deeper understanding of culture and catholicism now.

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 31

26. beautiful world, where are you by sally rooney (print, pl). ⭐⭐⭐

i think i very easily could have not liked this one but i think what pulled me through were the email chapters. the regular ones often felt very meh but the exchanges between alice and eileen felt real and relatable to me; there's a lot of similarity to how i talk with some friends over dms, i felt.
rooney's style in this is kind of hmmmm and it had mixed effects i feel. i hated every single sex scene, something about them just made me cringe, but maybe it's just because i really wasn't sold on either het relationship. felix was a complete asshole and the age difference between eileen and simon just got weirder and weirder as the book went on...

alice and eileen were thankfully the focal characters and relationship for the novel so i could push through everything else because i found them very endearing and their relationship very affecting? i cried at the penultimate chapters a little; the ending didn't move me but the fact that they're going to be friends still was a huge relief 🥺 i may have related a bit too much

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 31

25. strange buildings by uketsu (print, eng). ⭐⭐⭐

okay so this kinda made it worth it to previous two books bc it's really like. this time uketsu improved lol
i genuinely don't have big complaints about this one, it's a series of short stories with connections to each other that have a bit reveal at the end. i mean i can be like "i don't think the depiction of human trafficking for sex work abd csa are well-considered" but having problems with Tone and Sensitive Subjects is so different than having the problem a mystery book fundamentally not working and being stupid lol
it's still like a three stars book but we've come so far

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 31

we're exercising girl power by founding the notoriously patriarchal slave empiere of rome now i guess

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 31

the temporary evil interloper in our home is also cute but unfortunately continues to do poop crimes on the bathroom floor.

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 31

freya has been cutieful as always, thankfully she wasn't too mad about mom leaving her behind for a bit.

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 25

i bought a lot of books somehow

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 25

matching kirbys and seashells papli found today 🥺

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 25

first time trying kimbap, extremely long low tide strand, saint paddy's cathedral and the discourse-generating homeless jesus statue

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 25

we're at a super cute boba place

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 24

butchez...

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 24

escándalo...

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 24

we went there for the bog bodies though. content warning: bog bodies

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 24

little guys kind of a day, we spent a long time at the national museum of archeology

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 24

oshikatsu moment with four cinnamon rolls who are too good for this world, too pure

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 23

there's a lot of stuff for this little known local writer, i think his name is jimmy something

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 23

unhealthy food soundwave

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 23

also this guy we also saw him. and his house

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 23

we saw the book of kells and adjacent exhibitions at the trinity college

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 23

the food was great tho

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 22

he is learning about dining opportunities

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 16

24. about a place in the kinki region by sesuji (print, eng). ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

oh Bitch
i was super excited to read this book even though the recent exploits in the mystery/horror genre left me disappointed. but this Really delivered what i wanted for most of the time.
i admit to a bit of white guy fascination with japanese folk/religious horror, chalk it up to higurashi. obviously not every story of the kind hits the same but i loved this one. it was genuinely scary! and the undercurrent of virality and contagiousness to the curse/haunting was fascinating, i've seen it in other japanese horror stories before but it was executed so well here. the Thing that curses and haunts was also very creatively portrayed.

i also found the format of collected stories, interviews, articles and even fake 2chan threads really well executed. i feel like this is something many writers struggle with, especially when using online elements, but here it worked really well. i felt like there was clear inspiration from several japanese creepypastas or internet horror stories, but it didn't feel derivative and i got the impression the author was very fond of the subgenre.
i do have some complaints. i think the story didn't quite stick the landing, the full reveal felt a bit "is that it?" after the previous 80%ish of the book were incredibly good. i also didn't like how pet death features in it... i am very sensitive about that lately... it made me feel really bad in a bad way.

but yeah otherwise i really enjoyed this and i want to watch the movie as soon as i forget some plot details!
bonus scare: the day after i finished the book i bought a juice from a company that puts random short messages on the bottle caps. when i opened the bottle i saw the message said "why not travel to the mountains?". i nearly jumped out of my skin at the bus stop, for a second i thought i got Got by the curse too crying emoji

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 16

23. malice by keigo higashino (print, pl). ⭐⭐⭐⭐

it's somewhat important context that prior to reading this book i attempted to read a polish thriller by an author who's the current hotness. i found that book incredibly shallow and gave up on it after about 100 pages. this and the uketsu frustration were mounting a desire to read a Good Crime Book in me.
so anyway: malice was fun! i wasn't aware it was part of a series but it honestly didn't bother me a lot, and more than anything i want to read more of the author.
since it was more of a whydunnit there were a lot of layers to the mystery, but i think they were mostly justified. i didn't fully get the childhood bullying angle but i think even then i had a satisfying time with the story. since it's been a while now i don't have detailed memories anymore but i know i had fun and read it very quickly!

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 11

22. an episode in the life of a landscape painter by césar aira (print, pl). ⭐⭐⭐⭐, but...

let's not beat around the bush: a large part of why i delayed so much with these write-ups and consequently felt terrible online is that i, um, felt awfully embarrassed by how little i got out of this book.
trying to remember what my issue was over a month later feels futile, so i'll keep it short. i basically felt that there's layers of meaning evading me even after i consulted other sources; i understand about two layers of critique of colonialism (what a limp statement to describe the book) but i feel there's more beyond my understanding. for such a short little novella, i felt humbled and didn't want to admit it publicly, even though maybe two people read these!
maybe next time, mr aira.

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 11

21. 孤島の鬼 / kotō no oni / the demon of the lonely island by edogawa ranpo (print, pl). ⭐⭐ cw for discussion of ableism and homophobia in the write-up.

this one is difficult because it's truly epic highs and lows, very mixed stuff, and context plot twists.
the epic highs is that thanks to the serialised nature of original publication, every chapter can exist as the edogawa story i enjoy - a "wouldn't it be fucked up if..." concept that doesn't overstay its welcome, like "the chair" more than a kogoro akechi story. about half of the chapters are fucked up things firing on all cylinders and it's really fun and grody.
the epic lows is that the central conceit of the novel is extreme ableism. i was ready for this to happen because i originally formed a very negative opinion on edogawa because of "the caterpillar", a story similarly only held up by an ableist conceit. in this book, physical appearance and health are equated to goodness, and disability to evil. it's not an interpretation, it's basically literal words on the page. gross!

the mixed is the gay deuteragonist. it's difficult to decide where to start with moroto; he turns from a weird presence to ally to mentally broken into being evil to pitiable. and his context is inseparable from the above-mentioned ableism, even though moroto himself is described as handsome and able-bodied. i don't think edogawa specifically set out to create a gay stereotype villain, but it's difficult to not see parallels to western tropes in that vein.

truth be told i was ready to throw the book out completely until i read the afterword, where the translator elaborated on moroto and edogawa's possible reasons for creating this character. it turns out edogawa was a fan of gay literature both japanese and not, and had quite a few powerful homosocial relationships himself, going as far as to say that he had homosexual thoughts from time to time. i guess it's still difficult to square how his experience and interest affected his writing, vis-a-vis his evident desire to shock his readers. i'm not sure if the lgbt community should forgive but??? it's still crazy to me that edogawa ranpo could be a problematic mlm creator rather than just a weirdo straight guy.
i think a lot of my hesitation to give up on this book also comes from reading it right after the worst uketsu book; pretty prose and characters with depth were such a shock immediately afterwards lol.

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· May 11

20. strange houses by uketsu (print, eng). ⭐ i'm not going to dignify this with a write-up, lmao. maybe you remember how i complained about strange pictures? this one is so much worse. just don't read it.

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· Apr 25

coolest selfie i ever took accidentally

trotskyist mr. beast@kanesadas· Apr 25

oshikatsu