Karen Bischer

@kbischer

YA and Children's author (THE SECRET RECIPE FOR MOVING ON, Macmillan; SPORTS ILLUSTRATED KIDS: LEGEND VS LEGEND and SEASONS OF THE YEAR, Capstone). Yankees fan. TV-watcher. Unapologetic 80s music enthusiast.

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Karen Bischer@kbischer· 10d

"It's about how hoomans can find comfort in songs about similar circumstances in their lives. It can also be about designer jeans. You kinda had to be there." - today in Explaining Old School American Top 40* to My Cat *Sad Songs (Say So Much), Elton John, #7 this week in 1984 #caturday

Clarence, an orange striped cat, looks as if he is thinking, "Why are you interrupting my nice nap with this (extremely useful) information?" while curled up on a couch in front of a window.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· 10d

You also get to insert your cat (as well as your goddaughter and her brother) in there too.

A section of The Secret Recipe for Moving On reading: "Okay," Isaiah says, opening up the form, either oblivious to Luket angst or just trying to change the subject. "We've got eight horse in the fourth race." The names of the horses running are:
1. PICKADILLY
2. THAT'S SOME ISH
3. WEATHER OR NOT
4. RED SHIRTED
5. CLARENCE LEMONS
6. MYT QUINN
7. BOSSMAN BRYAN
8. LORD

Karen Bischer@kbischer· 10d

I was not lying. With authorship comes the power to name things after your favorite baseball players.

A post of mine from August 1, 2019 reading: I just named a deli in my book after Brett Gardner, and power like this is exactly why I became a writer...

A photo of the line in the book The Secret Recipe for Moving On (published in 2021) that reads: A.J. Johnson is so poor, he was spotted dumpster diving in the Gardner's Deli parking lot. Hope he found some good meals. I mean, deals!

"I'm going to kill him," I say through clenched teeth.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· 17d

"It's about believing in yourself and making people aware of your accomplishments, like when you make a big poop you're proud of and then go tearing around the house with epic zoomies." - today in Explaining Old School American Top 40* to My Cat *Fame, Irene Cara, #31 this week in 1980 #caturday

Clarence, an orange striped cat, looks pensive, probably thinking of the poops he'd like to be famous for.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· 17d

As ever for Apple games: Never tell me the odds.

Apple's in-game probability stats covered by three post-its that spell out "I don't care"

Karen Bischer@kbischer· 18d

Got this fella 9 years ago today, and to celebrate, he got to watch me act out various songs on The Bridge while making dinner (Amie by Pure Prairie League when this pic was taken). He gets a food, lodgings and a music education and I get his frenship. We are very fortunate to have each other.

Clarence, an orange striped cat who can't believe his luck when it came to his adopter, sits alertly on a kitchen stool behind a counter.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· 19d

A rabbit had the nerve to enjoy basking in the sun on Grampaw's front lawn, and these two are just like "that b*tch, how dare." They don't agree on much, but bunnies (and chipmunks) turn them into a pair of judgey washwomen.

Brandy, a tan floppy earred mutt, and Clarence, an orange striped cat, are sharing a brown slip-covered couch while they stare judgmentally out a window

Karen Bischer@kbischer· 24d

"I don't care if you're bored, this is one of the ultimate TV theme songs and I WILL use this lint roller as a microphone to sing along." - today in Explaining Old School American Top 40* to My Cat *Theme From the Greatest American Hero, Joey Scarbury, #7 this week in 1981 #caturday

Clarence, an orange striped cat, yawns widely while lounging on the back of a couch. Yes, he has black spots in his mouth, no they aren't anything sinister. He's had them his whole life. He thanks you for your concern, tho.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· 27d

I have no problem taking a few days to adjust twice a year and have the darkness evened out because permanently in either direction seems like a no-win sitch. So I'm muting the discourse because I didn't ask to be on this ride 🤷‍♀️

A screenshot showing EST, EDT and Daylight Savings under "Your muted words"

Karen Bischer@kbischer· 28d

This is one of the things that as a copyright holder galls me so much about these cases (it happened with Meta too): The powers-that-be briefly wring their hands about knowing what they're doing is wrong but do it anyway. Corporate greed can truly get f***ed.

Notably, the Complaint cites several internal communications that suggest Google officials themselves acknowledged that using "publisher provided...copyrighted books" from Google Play Books to train its AI was potentially "highly problematic for Google."

Karen Bischer@kbischer· 28d

I make cupcakes for Opening Day every year but I haven't baked anything for the All-Star Break in a hot minute. Decided to rectify that this year. Behold: (Ben) Rice Krispies Peanut Butter Cup Brownie

A close up of a treat with a layer of chocolate-covered rice krispies on top of a layer of smashed peanut butter cups on top of a brownie crust.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· Jul 12

Someone commented on this that an Oxford comma would help this (clunky AF, in-need-of-a-rewrite) headline. That comment has more than 100 likes. I'm seriously hoping it's a bunch of bots who just learned about Oxford commas via AI and they think this makes them sound human. Otherwise 😐

A post about Morris County NJ that shows a stock footage police car with the headline "Husband of NJ marriage counselor found stabbed to death made frantic 911 call" (the counselor was found stabbed, not her husband, but an Oxford comma would solve nothing here)

Karen Bischer@kbischer· Jul 11

"I can't explain it to you exactly, but if rich 1980s yuppies drinking Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers had a sound, it would be this song." - today in Explaining Old School American Top 40* to My Cat *Love Touch, Rod Stewart #17 this week in 1986 #caturday

Clarence, an orange striped cat, is curled up while staring boredly at the camera through the wooden back of a chair

Karen Bischer@kbischer· Jul 6

That's...not A League of Their Own 🤦‍♀️

A local AI-made ad for a movie in the park. The featured movie is A League of Their Own and the hallucinated image features three AI-generated 1940s-esque women who were NOT in the movie (two look like the same woman, just posing differently). FWIW, I think the park in the image is completely hallucinated as well, not the actual park where this movie will be shown.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· Jul 6

Jumped about 40 feet out of my seat over this, holy moly. (My local outdoor critters *should* be OK because my nabe's flood risk is usually storm surge in coastal storms, not rain overflow.)

An iPhone emergency alert for a flash flood warning on my area.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· Jul 3

Even the Innies are celebrating July 4th.

The interior of BellWorks (aka Lumon, if you're a Severance fan) with a large American flag hanging from the third floor balcony

Karen Bischer@kbischer· Jun 27

"It's, uh, an extended vehicular metaphor for a lady with a lot of sweethearts." - today in Explaining Old School American Top 40* to My Cat *Little Red Corvette, Prince, #36 this week in 1983 #caturday

Clarence, an orange striped cat, looks not even mildly interested in this bit of information as he stares exasperatedly at the camera while lounging in front of a window.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· Jun 20

Today's Conversations with Cam the Osprey While I Hose the Driveway included me asking him if he takes inspiration from Jackson Pollock when deciding his pooping scheme. He got insulted and flew away.

Bird-poop-speckled blacktop. This is two days' worth of droppings from one bird.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· Jun 14

From SportsCenter's weird-ass AI-generated Knicks celebration post. You don't need editors because AI is just *so smart* on its own, you guys!

A screen shot from SportsCenter's AI-generated video that shows a lit-up-by-fireworks MSG with "Worth the weight" in text above it.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· Jun 13

Not me having a whole one-sided conversation with my resident osprey (who I'm calling Cam) while I hosed my driveway, like, "Oh, hi! Are you enjoying pooping all over my driveway? I bet it's fun for you. Hope your fish is tasty!"...only to realize my neighbor was outside and saw the whole thing.

Cam, the mad sh*tting osprey, sitting on a tree branch and peeking up from a fresh-caught fish lunch while I talk to him.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· Jun 13

"Both you and I have diamond birthstones. That diamond is pretty but not our best friend. But you know what diamond is? A BASEBALL DIAMOND. I know, right?" - today in Explaining Old School American Top 40* to My (April-Birthday-Having) Cat. *Diamonds, Herb Alpert, #8 this week in 1987 #caturday

Clarence, an orange striped cat, is curled up like a loaf of bread under a chair. He is also wearing a look of marvel over having his favorite sport's field of play also represent his birth month AND be his best friend.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· Jun 9

Concrete jungle, dreams, nothing you can't do, etc.

A view from the street of the Flatiron Building, lit up at night

Karen Bischer@kbischer· Jun 7

The only thing in my head just now, while sterilizing a needle on the stove so I could dig a tiny splinter out of my finger.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· Jun 6

"You didn't verbally tease the hair, you basically attacked it with a pick." - today in Explaining Old School American Top 40* to My Cat *Casey explains Rikki Rockett's hair tips for the biggest, poofiest hair possible before playing Poison's Nothin' But a Good Time, #17 this wk in 1988 #caturday

Clarence, an orange striped cat, is curled up on the back of a couch in front of a window while pondering the mysterious ways 80s hoomans tortured their precious locks.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· Jun 4

An osprey (or muppet) made itself at home in my tree today and paid back the hospitality by dropping fish morsels on/crapping all over my car and driveway.

Aforementioned osprey-muppet, staring curiously down from the branch it called home today.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· May 30

"It's a continuation of the Jack and Jill song, with Jill now cheating on Jack because HER needs aren't being met and I think maybe they should just break up." - today in Explaining Old School American Top 40* to My Cat *A Woman Needs Love, Ray Parker Jr & Raydio, #8 this week in 1981 #caturday

Clarence, an orange striped cat, stares thoughtfully while musing over hoomans and their love dramas.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· May 23

"It's a euphemism for sex. We have flood insurance because of real hurricanes. If they paid out the a** for that like we do they'd probably find hurricanes way less sexy." -today in Explaining Old School American Top 40* to My Cat *Rock You Like a Hurricane, Scorpions #27 this wk in 1984 #caturday

Clarence, an orange striped cat, sits upright while balancing on the back of a wingback chair. He hopes to never be rocked by a real-life hurricane because storm surge is no joke and the flood insurance is already high enough.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· May 20

Big "when will my husband return from sea" vibes but it's actually "why aren't the rabbits lining up to jump into my mouth and why does no one understand?"

Brandy, a tan floppy earred mutt with black snout, stares longingly out a window. She does not realize it is already too hot to be chasing anything, let alone cute baby bunnies.

Karen Bischer@kbischer· May 20

"The rabbits are Jean Valjean. Your sister is Javert. She is obssesed in a way she should be embarrassed about but her hound DNA will never allow for that." - today in Explaining Why I Yelled at Brandy as She Chased (But Didn't Catch*) a Baby Rabbit in Grampaw's Yard to My Cat *Thank god

Clarence, an orange striped cat who, historically, likes to kill mice at Grampaw's house, sits on a stool at a kitchen counter. He wonders if he, too, is a Javert (spoiler alert: He totally is).

Karen Bischer@kbischer· May 16

"You tortured me by catching that mouse during the night while *I* was trying to sleep, so you can endure me acting out both parts of this song right now." - today in Explaining Old School American Top 40* to My Cat *I Can't Help It, Andy Gibb & Olivia Newton-John #13 this week in 1980 #caturday