Keith Bergman
@keithbergman
Walter Mitty in an Incantation t-shirt
“Edit with AI” and do what, you stupid clanker, make me look even more perfect?
MAGA by next Monday: "WE ALWAYS DONE LOVED GREEN POOLS! POOLS IS SUPPOSED TO BE GREEN! I PUT MORE ALGAES IN MINE EVERY MORNIN' AFTER I BOOF MY IVERMECTIN!"
Actual footage of Trump walking out of his Meet the Press interview, if you're a fucking idiot
This fat bucket of fuck is barely able to stand up on his own while snarling through what looks like ten ounces of Grippo's BBQ chip dust on his face. This has been your golden calf all along, you stupid rubes.
If a MAGAnaut hired a guy to stain their deck and he fell asleep like this on the clock, we'd all have to hear about it in a rickety Facebook truck cab video with a million views, but when Big Papa Blotchyhands does it he's playing 4-D chess
Love a weird provenance. Wound up with two copies of a classical CD apparently made as a promotional tchotchke by a pharmaceutical company, featuring a European orchestra their parent company bankrolled. Wonder how many of these are sitting unopened on retired doctors’ shelves, gifts from sales reps
The final evolution of the tech bro [gender neutral] is just Homer Simpson yelling at Bachman Turner Overdrive to skip immediately to the chorus of the only song he already knows
Barbaric and probably illegal that I purchased a Fairchild Channel F game system from 1977 today on my lunch break, but am somehow required to "work" to "pay for goods and services" and "fulfill my obligations" to the "people who gave me money" before I can hook it up and play with it.
Shocked to discover a member of the Noem family with a kink for fantasizing by dressing up
I see the laugh-reacting great-uncle contingent has settled on their comments-section talking point about gas price spikes, that being "no they didn't and I'm glad they did and anyway Biden." Great work as always gents, you couldn't bulldoze the country you say you love any harder if you tried
Strangely enough @themountaingoats.bsky.social earned more from meme royalties in 2024 than from music despite meme royalties not being real
Sausage gravy over tater tots, because the end of the world is no time to be hangry
I too enjoy watching my AI live his best life when I am not typing PLAY PIANO or FEED DOG at him
Can't believe they got Prince Andrew in the back of the squad car like that
These two dinguses are extra cuddly today. They got over some food issues and it seems to have made them like each other again. How am I supposed to work with these adorable morons nearby?
Hey real quick, if you're keeping score on what people think of tax money being spent to tweet from a government account like an incel with an ankle bracelet jerking off to Mein Kampf, please mark me down as "really not into it at all"