Kyle Walker

@kjmwalker

The drinking person's Gosling (actor, not bird). Former Scottish Highlands arts journo, current sick boy (medically, not Trainspotting-ly). Suits the eye patch, actually.

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Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· 11d

Here's the mountain of food the support worker and I made together yesterday, curries and sausage rolls and soup and more, good grief legs are in bits but so so bloody delighted/proud could manage all this. Freezer full just now, but while it will empty over the week, I WON'T.

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· 18d

LOOK AT/VALIDATE WHAT WE MADE YESTERDAY. Macaroni cheese! Two types of salmon fillets with noodles/stir-fried rice! Even managed to make a roux for the mac with support worker's help, delighted! Legs are aching jelly now tho, l bizarre considering I was sat down the whole time.

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· 19d

Really sorry, don't want to demand validation TOO desperately, but also look at what I/the support worker managed to make together yesterday! Can confirm it smells/tastes even better than it looks, AND it didn't poison me, total victory all round!

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· 25d

Hark at all of this, good grief (cottage pies, chilli and pasta from one big tub of mince)!

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· 28d

Regret to warn you all that the health of Inverness's favourite Poundland pirate is finally back at a level where I can try to get out into the world again*! * only with the help/guidance of a support worker/friends and family/elite team of scientists and McLaren mechanics obv.

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Jun 16

Doctors crying, hugging, rending their cardigans in rabid ecstasy as my health has officially improved to the level I can make myself a cooked breakfast without endangering myself/the house/Inverness. Not TOO much, anyway. (it was, of course, DELICIOUS)

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Jun 11

Have been doing best to rest/recover some strength today and just finished my first playthrough of Mina the Hollower and bloody loved it far too much from start to end, thx v/ much @yachtclubgames.bsky.social! ♥️ (obv this final boss screenshot isn't the most representative of the game, but OWELL)

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Jun 8

Absolutely delighted to have managed to do my first bit of post-disability hob cooking today with Occupational Therapy, made a jambalaya that was delicious and hasn't given me food poisoning*, hooray! 🎆 * YET

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· May 21

Delighted/regret to inform you all that Captain Wobbles has managed to work out ways to do more cooking without my disabilities or poor taste buds getting in the way, and it was delicious/didn't cause food poisoning! Yet.

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· May 5

I made chicken satay again (with potato wedges from scratch), delighted to inform you all that it was all absolutely delicious/didn't poison me. 🫡

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Apr 20

Regret to inform you all that I just managed to do my first fully independent bit of cooking (chicken satay!) since all the health nonsenses started for me back in 2020 with the resulting disabilities that I've had to put up with, obv absolutely delighted to have managed this. ♥️

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Feb 17

Not sure if I should be proud or ashamed, but either way I need validation: I've just 100%-ed a game for the first time (Ender Lilies: Quietus of the Knights, v good!), and while this ISN'T the shining "ability" I'd hoped to put into disability I am still EMBARRASSINGLY pleased.

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Nov 18

I've really enjoyed the Tales games I've played so far for their generally breezy tone, action gameplay and fun exploring, but my favourite thing is the "Skits", wee optional character dialogues which offer additional plot/character/world details but are ALWAYS fun as hell to me.

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Oct 17

This latest cash-grabbing wheeze from Duolingo sucks so hard. Energy drains even when you give right answers, thus removing any incentive to actually use the app to learn a language unless you subscribe to annul this. Were the constant ads after each lesson not coining enough in?

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Oct 5

FRAGILE COGNITION FEELING ABLE TO READ FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A FEW MONTHS YEEEEEEEEES. Started reading The Haar, which has been an often surprisingly melancholic but still delightfully gruesome bit of body horror so far, enjoying both the book AND feeling able to read again! 👍

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Sep 25

Fiosrachadh cudromach mu Inbhir Nis (gu h-àraid an-dràsta leis am foghar an seo is an geamhradh a' tighinn a dh'aithghearr) bho @ScotsGaelicDuo an-diugh:

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Sep 6

Tha Duolingo Gàidhlig a' teagasg fiosrachadh cudromach dhuinn mun Ghàidhealtachd an-diugh.

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Jul 12

My favourite boss so far has, of course, been the fire-breathing chicken...thing.

Screencap of a boss from Ys Seven with the in-game caption "Fire-Eater Stohl Bram". There's no hint of its diet from looking though, said boss being a giant angry red featherless chicken. Maybe it's so annoyed because it's not had any fire breakfast yet.

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Jul 12

I've been playing Ys Seven in this heatwave which has been perfect for my fragile brain: very fun "whack things with swords" game with very good/challenging/ridiculously-subtitled boss fights ("FEROCIOUS BIRD") that need a good amount of work/reflexes/etc to get past, great fun!

Screencap of a boss from Ys Seven with the introductory in-game caption "Two-Headed Turtle Val Klar". Said boss is, indeed, a two-headed turtle.

Screencap of a boss from Ys Seven with the introductory in-game caption "Big Bug Beast Zeran Fith". In a victory for truth in advertising, it is indeed a Big Bug Beast.

Screencap of a boss from Ys Seven with the introductory in-game caption "Deep-Earth Crab Valisa Luti". It IS a big crab, but it's not DEEP underground, being in a waterway under a city, but fair enough champ.

Screencap of a boss from Ys Seven with the introductory in-game caption "Ferocious Bird Kava Kelos". This one is, undoubtedly, a ferocious-looking bird, positively pissed off in fact.

(would also like to add here that this particular boss was a nightmare at first and beating it was far too satisfying, great stuff Ys Seven)

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Jun 30

🎵 Is siiiiiiiinne na curaidhean, mo chàirdean! 🎵👑🎉

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Jun 23

Think the weather cooling down so much today is the result of some fickle weather god rewarding me for being so successful/extra lame at Duolingo last week, many apologies/you're welcome!

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· May 20

Very excited to inform you that I've been well enough today to sit outside in this lovely sun/heat and do a bit of reading without my brain/energy getting fried! ♥️ (Currently reading Royal Assassin by Robin Hobb, book 2 of Farseer trilogy, really enjoying it so far)

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· May 12

Obv waking up to this delightful/hugely embarrassing actually Duolingo table has helped my fragile health immeasurably.

My latest results in the Duolingo Diamond League.

ABOVE TABLE: You finished #1 last week!

VISIBLE LEAGUE RESULTS:
1) Kyle (moi) 22511 XP
2) Count Almaviva 11512 XP
3) Damien Price 8342 XP
4) Mma! 7739 XP

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· May 6

Here's a photo of me from the wedding I attended on Saturday, would just like to reassure all of you who might be concerned about how I look that I have NOT been cast as Blofeld in a future Bond movie despite my repeated letters/photographs/threats to Amazon MGM, you're all safe!

Image depicts two inordinately handsome men in the lobby of the Kingsmills Hotel during a wedding. On the left, standing, the groom: a man in a blue suit jacket and a green-and-blue tartan kilt. On the right, myself, sat in my wheelchair with my eyepatch on looking like Billy Corgan if he took up piracy during the Mellon Collie years.

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Apr 29

While my health has been recovering the past few days, my fragile brain's been forcing me to constantly repeat this run of songs my ever-growing ska playlist shuffled together. Every one of these has helped me push through/wobble around the place/get things done, cheers all! ♥️

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Apr 1

Have had another relativley really good day health-wise! Managed meals/coffees/physio without any problems/wobbles, and managed to finish reading another book (Amongst Our Weapons, Rivers of London No. 9, REALLY good fun imo)! Top Tuesday all round! 🥇

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Mar 26

Tweet by alt-right dingus Paul Joseph Watson: "The right is starting to get better at comedy and it's making lefties nervous."

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Mar 23

In extremely exciting (for me anyway) news, I've FINALLY finished reading a book again. It took me a month due to bad cognitive health run but I REALLY enjoyed Daughter of the Empire by Raymond E Feist and Janny Wurts, really nice bit of politically-complex fantasy! ♥️

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Mar 3

Been able to push through a bit health-wise and get more done this afternoon! Think that's only a little due to recovery nap earlier, mostly it's my obscenely huge ska-punk playlist shuffling up an all-time run of motivational bops for Cap'n Wobbles to have on repeat. Ta you lot.

Screenshot of ludicrously great/helpful run of tunes on the obscenely long ska-punk Spotify playlist I've been adding to over the past four years. Artists/songs displayed:

Matamoska!: Ska Show
Common Sense Kid: Blinded by a Black Hole
The Pomps: Monarchs
Flying Raccoon Suit: Swan Song
Faintest Idea: Ouroboros
Just Say Nay: Kuromouri
Skatune Network: Escape from the City
Capdown: Progression vs Punk Rock

Kyle Walker @kjmwalker· Mar 3

Been a rough day so far today health-wise, have already needed to take a recovery nap after a grueling morning of "getting/having breakfast", BUT 1) getting through everything bit better now, and 2) DID IT AGAIN ON DUOLINGO CHAPS. 👑👑👑