Lapis.liya (@lapis-liya) · DIRTY

Lapis.liya

@lapis-liya

✨Caveat emptor✨ Hold the bastards accountable.

2,313 Following1,439 Followers467 Posts

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Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· 13d

Check out this monster in action

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· 17d

Out here living my best life

Google maps screenshot showing Tasty Fruit Cups and Bosstrees near me

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· 18d

Holy shit yes they're turning the seniors bionic

A blonde woman who is conventionally attractive but clearly a senior, wearing a blue shirt and blue device on her arm to stimulate the muscles so she can lift more weight. This is the MyoPro

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· 21d

You guys I'm back and his name is Lorenzo

Another gorgeous anti-freeze drink on the bar, AKA a Blue Hawaiian cocktail on the bar with plenty of liquor in the background

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· 21d

Please enjoy this lovely picture of me captured by a six year-old

Me in my goin' out clothes, wearing a red tank top and leopard print skirt, crouching down and smiling at the little devil taking my picture. I have long wavy brown hair and despite all the sun on this vacation I'm still pale as shit

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· 23d

Indeed!

Avalon, Catalina Island, CA. Looking back at the Casino from the point at Descanso Beach, it's a rocky beach and there's a decent amount of people in the water and colorful umbrellas on the beach

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· 23d

Avalon, baby.

Me in round sunglasses, a blue zip-up bathing suit top, and jean skirt with my hand in my pocket. A couch is in the background and I appear to be standing on some kind of porch

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· 25d

Still glad Boomerang exists, thank you hotel cable for reminding me

Absolutely terribly framed still from Thundarr the Barbarian (cartoon) on a flat-screen TV, he is riding on a majestic steed and pointing onward while blood rains down

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· 25d

There's something amazing about ferally blowing smoke out of your hotel room window

Looking out the open window of a hotel room with beige curtains, with a stupidly tiny pipe and an orange BIC lighter sitting on the sill. Outside you can see the street and some bushes with blueish-white light in the harbor in the background

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· Jul 10

Swift Things Are Beautiful
Elisabeth Coatsworth

Swift things are beautiful:
Swallows and deer,
And lightning that falls
Bright-veined and clear,
Rivers and meteors,
The wind in the wheat,
The strong-withered horse,
The runner's sure feet.

And slow things are beautiful:
The closing of day,
The pause of the wave
That curves downward to spray,
The ember that crumbles,
The opening flower,
And the ox that moves on
In the quiet of power.

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· Jun 30

Rude I just wanted a sandwich...

A screenshot of my order at a deli for pickup, after purchase an ad popped up thanking me for my order and then offering me my first Botox treatment for just $10/unit

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· Jun 30

Still one of my favorite pictures of my mom

A picture of my mom looking bad ass in a blue leather jacket and placing a flower under the windshield wipers for the owner of this Toyota (Prius, I think?) with the license plate FSCOTUS

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· Jun 28

Reminds me of Stranger in a Strange Land

Text from Robert Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land, the protagonist is being walked through a garden featuring sculptures including Rodin's "Fallen Caryatid." Text reads: Victory in defeat, there's none higher. She didn't give up, Ben; she's still trying to lift that stone after it has crushed her. She's a father going down to a dull office job while cancer is eating away his insides, so as to bring home one more paycheck for the kids. She's a twelve-year-old girl trying to mother the baby brothers and sisters because Mama had to go to Heaven. She's a switchboard operator sticking to her job while smoke is choking her and the fire is cutting off her escape. She's all the unsung heroes who couldn't quite cut it but never quit.

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· Jun 23

I have a volunteer

A green parrot with orange eyes perched on the edge of a black grate patio table, gazing with an intense expression at a leftover plate of food in front of him

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· Jun 16

Corn is love

My corn Man shirt, a most-prized possession. It's a yellow, badly-folded t-shirt with a man made out of a corn cob and wooden mannequin legs, with human arms wearing blue long sleeves, and sporting some shoulder-length hair while riding a large orange skateboard. The shirt says You Are Now! Corn Man Go You Own Way It Is Okay to Differnt, Obvious Plant ©1992

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· Jun 13

Oh I absolutely use Old Spice and have no qualms about it

Me holding a stick of Old Spice "Timber" deodorant "with sandalwood." It's tan with a red cap and also advertises "Lasting freshness with everfresh boost."

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· Jun 9

Titled "Chambered Nautilus"

A woman in white sits alone in a large canopy bed, staring out a window with light streaming through. The colors of the painting are all muted tones of green, tan, and white

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· Jun 7

Quite the operation

Very large stainless steel tanks and a myriad of piping in a two-story warehouse

A gigantic stainless steel tank engineered to inject steam-hopped and/or dry-hopped flavor to wort in the process of beer-making

More steel tanks and endless piping visible, as well as a metal staircase. The floor is wet from recent work cleaning/brewing another gigantic batch of beer

About a million (okay, not really but the pile stretches two stories) empty 805 beer cans stacked and strapped to pallets, ready to be filled and shipped

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· Jun 7

Seen on a behind-the-scenes tour of Firestone Walker Brewery in Paso Robles today

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· May 30

How to make the news tolerable.

Me holding a small clay mug with a double shot of espresso and beautiful crema, with roses and bushes and various features of a backyard slightly out-of-focus in the background

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· May 28

My bird being a troll hiding under the table because he hates the laser level projecting around the room

Picture of a bright green parrot with orange eyes looking back at me suspiciously. He is sitting on a brown cushion on a wooden chair that is pulled into the wooden table, hence he is underneath it and hiding quite effectively. Also there's newspaper on the cushion because he is a mess

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· May 22

Stayed up so late to do this and so worth it

Chocolate and crystallized ginger cake with chocolate buttercream frosting topped with more crystallized ginger for one of my absolute favorite people

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· May 6

This is how I sleep.

An orange cat sits perched on top of me, a person-shaped lump in the bed covered in a white down comforter and with a white pillow over my head blocking out the light. Wooden blind shades are drawn in the window above the bed and the flat sheet and another pillow are dark blue. The walls behind are visible with one in a dark shade of green and the other more chartreuse. Leto is staking his claim.

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· May 3

Primary crew members listed, sorry my eyes and thumbs are angry

General Specifications, Computer Systems, Warp Propulsion System, Impulse Proportion System specifications all listed

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· May 3

She didn't get quite everything but here you go

Transporter Chief O'Brien
Chief O'Brien is responsible for the ship's vast array of matter/anti-matter transporters. He has served on the Enterprise for five years.
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Transporter Systems

Personnel Transporters
Quantum resolution (Lifeform): 6
Emergency Transporters
High volume (scan-only): 6
Cargo Transporters
Molecular (non-lifeform): 6

Ship Duration

Expected lifetime: Estimated 100 years
Number of Lifetime Maintenance Upgrades/Layovers: 200

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Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· Apr 24

Errands & eggs

Me in the car wearing large tortoise shell sunglasses and a blue T-shirt with three hard-boiled halves wearing white gloves and yellow shoes dancing in a line. Their faces are made of the yolk and they are smiling as they dance. A yellow banner with black writing reads "Bury me in my egg shirt I want to wear it forever"

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· Apr 19

Forensic Files hits hard

An image of a note pad and pen illuminated from the show Forensic Files, with the expert stating "...can still see the impression." This is crucial evidence for the case.

The same notepad illuminated, with the expert now saying "When we turn the page, I think you"

The notepad and pen with scribbles in blue and black pen easier to see. The expert says "You can see just various scribble."

The final image of a pen pointing to the incriminating scribble in question with the expert voice-over "This is the doodle that we're talking about here."

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· Apr 18

Already more than half gone 🤷

The same lemon poppyseed pound cake with more than half of it demolished

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· Apr 18

Saturday morning lemon poppyseed pound cake

Golden brown lemon poppy seed pound cake loaf in a glass 9" x 4" glass pan on top of a stove

Lapis.liya@lapis-liya· Apr 11

Naw man, don't think I will

My local pool hall with a Creature From the Black Lagoon pinball machine with the scrolling banner admonishing you to "SAY NO TO DRUGS"