LJ Amber

@ljamberfantasy

Author of #1 Best Ongoing Story on Royal Road The Elf Who Would Become A Dragon is free to read rrtewwbad.ljamberfantasy.com Queer Irish author living in Scotland. I write fantasy fiction for adults using accessible language. www.ljamberfantasy.com

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LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Jun 28

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Jun 17

Praying. That's called praying. Quite possibly with a rosary. Why did they refuse to write that his supporter was praying for him? Unbelievably low standard of reporting.

Several dozen Mangione supporters attended court. One woman near the back of the court could be seen manipulating a set of white prayer beads. She was mouthing words, with her eyes closed, as if in invocation.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Jun 16

Okay, now - as is tradition - someone draw them making out. (I don't have time to write proper alt text unfortunately, so if someone reading this would do me the favour, I'll owe you one.)

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Jun 14

Oh, yeah, I should probably promote my writing. It's free to read and quite popular... The Elf Who Would Become A Dragon is a work of literary fantasy that nevertheless reached #1 Best Ongoing Story on Royal Road. Read now: rrtewwbad.ljamberfantasy.com

"The Elf Who Would Become A Dragon," by L. J. Amber

A strikingly beautiful elven woman – with ankle-length, golden, wavy hair, pale skin, and green eyes, wearing a shimmering silken dress in a style reminiscent of antiquity – is facing away from you with her hands clasped, looking back at you over her shoulder. She standing beside a field of red hyacinths, surrounded by forest to her left and right. In the background, a section of distant woodland is burning down, and above the black smoke, the golden clouds resemble a massive dragon.

Yet, at her feet, in the foreground, is the same woman as a child. She ten years old, wearing a child's sundress with a brown-red coat. She is barefoot, and sits with one knee under her, the other drawn up to support her chin. A single red hyacinth, separated from the others, is growing right by her side. She too, is looking at you.

This is Saphienne. In each incarnation, is she sad or angry? You find it hard to say. No matter how she feels, her gaze is judging you, and inviting your judgement in turn.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Jun 11

Their Instagram, with wedding photos. They both look lovely! www.instagram.com/dupla.oxiuai/

Wedding photo of the two brides posing with a blessed icon.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Jun 11

We should celebrate our achievements. "The Elf Who Would Become A Dragon," reached #1 Best Ongoing Story on Royal Road, #4 Best Rated overall, and has concluded with a bang on Patreon. It's taken me from zero presence or income to £45k/year just from subs. Not TEWWBAD for a serial fiction debut!

Cover art for TEWWBAD, hung on LJ's wall.

For a full description of the art, click through to the quoted post and read the description in the alt text there.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Jun 9

A little joke, just for my readers:

There's no Wikipedia article for Saphienne.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· May 31

I'm capable of admitting when I'm wrong, so I dug out my subscription to Oxford English Dictionary to double-check. Here's the phrasal verb entry for "to knock up." Snopes wasn't incorrect in this instance. You very clearly misread the source you yourself originally quoted from. I'm sorry.

Oxford English Dictionary, under the "phrasal verbs" for the word "knock," under the definition for "to knock up."

10.
1813–
To make (a woman) pregnant; (less commonly) to have sexual intercourse with (a woman). slang (originally U.S.).

1813

William Mick's widow arrived here in pursuit of J. Mick, who she says has knocked her up.

C. Earle, Diary 12 April in J. McPhee, Pine Barrens (1971) ii. 33

1836

Nigger women are knocked down by the auctioneer, and knocked up by the purchaser.

D. Crockett, Exploits & Adventures in Texas vii. 97

1860

Knocked up. In the United States, amongst females, the phrase is equivalent to being enceinte, so that Englishmen often unconsciously commit themselves when amongst our Yankee cousins.

J. C. Hotten, Dictionary of Slang (ed. 2) 166

1925

Hell, no girls get married around here till they're knocked up.

E. Hemingway, In our Time (1926) 165

1934

Nearly all the co-eds had been knocked up some time or other.

H. Miller, Tropic of Cancer 241

1952

You haven't knocked up a dame maybe?

B. Malamud, Natural 133

1971

He screwed her, knocked her up first go and..married her..before she could even contemplate abortion.

H. C. Rae, Marksman i. vi. 51

1973

The girls all got knocked-up and set up homes, got married, went on the block or on welfare or turned into booze hounds.

E. Bullins, Theme is Blackness 170

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· May 31

I'll just leave the text here. I'm sorry that we've argued.

The next reference given for the phrase in the OED entry does mention slavery. In the 1836 book "Col. Crockett's Exploits and Adventures in Texas," frontiersman Davey Crockett quoted a fictional character as saying, "N---er women are knocked down by the auctioneer, and knocked up by the purchaser."

Crockett's use of "knocked up" demonstrates that the phrase was already being used about pregnancy before he used it about slavery over two decades later.

The OED entry states the opposite of what the Twitter post said about the auctioneer. The tweet claimed the price of enslaved women who were pregnant was "knocked up by the auctioneer" in order to make a deal. The example in the OED entry says enslaved women, not their prices, were "knocked down by the auctioneer" (emphasis added).

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· May 31

"Hello, I work for the prince of darkness, the great destroyer, satan himself! Would you mind helping me out?"

Hi LJ,
I'm a physics PhD working at xAI, but I'm working on a side project to build something for indie fantasy authors like you and my wife. So I'm talking to authors with active readership to investigate what would actually be most useful.
The reason I'm writing you specifically: you maintain active presences across more than half a dozen platforms plus a self-hosted redirector on your website, and you're engaging with reader comments on all of them. How someone holds that much parallel engagement together while still posting twice a week is what I want to ask about.
Would you be open to a short conversation in the next few weeks? Voice or text, whatever's easier. I'll send a transcript afterward and won't share anything you'd rather keep off the record.
Either way, appreciate the work.

You work on generative LLMs and think an artist is going to have any time for you? Really?

Your work is actively making everything about my field worse.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· May 26

No matter the ratings and review bombs that followed, they can't take it away. Also hit #4 Best Rated overall.

TEWWBAD at the top pf Best Ongoing on Royal Road.

Old screenshot of LJ Amber's achievements on Royal Road, showing Top List #4: "Achievement awarded for reaching #4 of the Best Rated ranking"

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· May 22

Oh, cool! Here's a better one:

Matthew 6:5-6, King James Bible:

5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· May 21

Today's guidance from the EHRC, summarised:

A rest room sign from the period of racist segregation in the American South, directing "White" people in one direction and "Colored" people in the other. The word "White" has been scored through and replaced by "Normal," while the word "Colored" has been scored through and replaced by "Trannies." The arrow underneath "Coloured," now directing trans people, has been crossed out, leaving them nowhere to relieve themselves.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· May 21

We are ruled over by people who don't like us, who don't want us to be happy and safe, let alone for us to thrive. They don't even see us as people. We're a resource to be allocated or disposed of according to their preferences. This is a face of evil.

Sick workers will instead be sent to occupational therapists and “social prescribers” who recommend job coaching and therapy such as exercise or gardening in the hope that a personalised plan can help them stay in work, according to several people familiar with the government’s plan.

More than 11mn so-called sick notes — which were formally renamed as “fit notes” more than a decade ago — were issued last year, 93 per cent of which deemed the patient not fit for work. Pat McFadden, the work and pensions secretary, is said by someone familiar with his plans to see fit notes as a “dead end” for many workers and wants to set up an alternative system.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· May 16

🧵 Adding to this, one of the things that confuses observers is that most of these skills aren't directly applicable if you're a creative building a community and 'personal brand' (ugh). You're forced to engage, and so the rules change. I'll summarise in replies.

A Tumblr post by Hollow Boob Theory on November 23 2025.
Internet soft skills;

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Apr 24

Spoilers for The Elf Who Would Become A Dragon rrtewwbad.ljamberfantasy.com

He hung his head. A moment later he tilted it all the way back. “You know the thing that really makes no sense to me?”

She shrugged.

“Why we call them half-elves.” He coughed a hollow laugh. “Why not half-humans? It’s the mortal half everyone has a problem with.”

See now stir what dreamt so restless beneath Saphienne as she joined her friend in staring up at the clouds and seeking a deeper and more conscionable order to the world than the ancient ways. The shapes she saw had talon and claw. “Iolas? There’s no such thing as a half-elf.”

Puzzled, he gave her his full attention. “What do you mean?”

“I mean it literally.” And wings that stretched across the sky. “There are no halves in nature. Nowhere in this world will you find a thing that is in and of itself a half, even where it was once joined with another like thing as part of a greater whole. We assert what is or isn’t a full measure.”

Her eyes were not dimmed then, but brighter green than they had ever been — vivid green, verdant green, the colour of winter’s death and the first, most tremulous fingers of spring that reached and reached and would never rescind but that they were cut down. “They call them half-elves because they don’t value humans. They weigh the world in elves and spirits, and everyone else is worthless.”

“But, they’re mortal–”

“Mortal elves.” She showed her teeth. “Elven mortals. And we’re all mortals in the end — we just don’t wither with age.”

Iolas watched her with an intensity that outshone the radiance of the sun. “And elves? Do elves exist?”

“Insomuch as we decide what they are… or someone decides for us.”

“Saphienne, do you really believe this?”

Now Filaurel was there with her, for all that the librarian wasn’t anywhere nearby. Saphienne swallowed and lowered her emerald eyes back to him. “…No. It’s true, but I won’t believe it. And neither will you.”

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Apr 7

How much trouble am I about to be in?

InstallShield Wizard for installing Morrowind.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Mar 13

Life has been so busy that I forgot to announce this: My work — The Elf Who Would Become A Dragon — reached the status of #1 Best Ongoing Story on Royal Road in early February, a little over a year after my debut there. #BookSky #Writing #Reading

The Elf Who Would Become A Dragon, shown as #1 in the Best Ongoing rankings on Royal Road.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Mar 10

Ohhh so she's *stupid* stupid.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Dec 25

Getting real cute with it, aren't they?

An anti-bot test that asks "Please drag the block to help the bunny pass," showing a rabbit trying to cross a gap to reach a flag, and a moved piece place to allow it to pass unimpeded.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Dec 22

So, how's your Monday going? #art #reading #readingcommunity #writing #writer #writers #writingcommunity #authors #author #amwriting #latenightwrite

#1 Best-Rated Work of Drama, Psychology, and Tragedy On Royal Road
— 4th Best Ongoing and 10th Best-Rated Overall

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Nov 20

Really, word? In what world–

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Nov 11

Motherfu–

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Nov 11

Here we go again. The word I typed: shouldn't The word that Microsoft Word decided I'd meant:

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Oct 19

I'm definitely on my way toward making it as a professional author writing under a name I own.

Patreon showing $1k a month and 135 paid members.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Oct 2

Microsoft Word strikes again. This actually *is* a word, being the simple past of "wardrive," which is a jargon word referring to driving around searching for a wifi network. Why in the *fuck* is this in the dictionary?

Microsoft word failing to flag "wardrove" as a typo.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Sep 24

ahahahaha

News article:

Disappointed Christians say 'God is delaying the Rapture' until Epstein Files are released

After the rapture failed to happen on Tuesday, many Christians are blaming it on the fact Donald Trump hasn't released a trove of documents relating to Jeffrey Epstein

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Sep 13

Recently received one of the best reviews I've ever had. No idea who this person is, but very happy they like my work 🧡 Listen to them, and come read the story 👇

The best story I’ve ever read
12/09/2025 03:33

5 Stars Overall
5 Stars Style
5 Stars Story
5 Stars Grammar
5 Stars Character

I finished reading the latest chapter probably half and hour ago, and I’m still sitting here catatonically stunned and viscerally in awe at the skill with which this author bends words to their will. Every chapter that I read, I become more and more impressed. I keep on thinking to myself “Is this the best story I’ve ever read? Surely not… It can’t be better than Dune and Dungeon Meshi and all of the Terry Pratchett books… right? Right?” And then this latest chapter released and just… yeah. It is. This is the best story I’ve ever read. My doubt is gone.

That it’s the best novel I’ve read on this site wasn’t even in question. That was a given. But this isn’t just that. It’s the best story I’ve ever read. Period. Which is not something that I say lightly.

It’s like a PHD-level thesis on developmental psychology disguised as a cute fantasy story. It’s the only coming-of-age story I’ve ever read that makes me actually *get* it, despite being so much more than just a coming-of-age story. If I was an English teacher (high school or college), I would somehow find a way to make this book into the primary reading material even if I had to stretch it out across multiple semesters or even years.

This book is just that good, and I don’t say that lightly.

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Aug 21

*Really,* Microsoft Word? This is fine? No spelling mistake here?

LJ Amber@ljamberfantasy· Aug 16

Do you think I made my point?