🍕 L.T. Vargus, disgraced author🍕
@ltvargus
Lex is my name, eating soup is my game Also writing books: ltvargus.com/books CRAP CREAM OF THE CRAP
imagine being mad at me and I'm just over here trying to catch bubbles with my mouth
1997 called, it wants its outfit back… only difference is I can sit down without exposing my entire asscrack now
👇 that's baby LT on the far left circa 1997 and I need everyone to know I just found a pair of plaid grandpa golf pants exactly like the ones I was wearing in the photo and it was worth the preposterously long line at ROSS to get these fricking pants I'll tell you hwhat
Wanted to make cornbread but it’s too hot for the oven. Planned on using the air fryer but my eyes landed on the waffle maker as I was getting the recipe out and I have accidentally created the best cornbread I’ve ever had
Don't talk to me or my son or the teapot that looks like my son ever again
❎ making yourself a capsule wardrobe ✅ making yourself a CATsule wardrobe
how my skeets are served because I don’t like politics touching my shitposts:
dressing not for the male gaze or the female gaze but for a secret third thing (our future AI chatbot overlords)
had to take this guy to the vet today and the news is fairly poopy (congestive heart failure) so I declare this day to be poopy 👎
I love him 🥹 This is my serial puker, and with him it is a race to see if we can clean it up before he eats it himself
Drop something from the 1990s (whenever I'm on the toilet I think of this ad and do my best to poop more sexily)
EVERYONE POST THEIR FLYEST FIT RIGHT NOW. (from my fashion design days, I was trying to channel the baddies in Crybaby when I made this one)
new wendy’s chicken sandwich needs to calm the fuck down