Alicia Lutes

@lutes

seventeen clams in a trenchcoat cosplaying as Gilda Radner. also a writer.

175 Following710 Followers322 Posts

Bluesky

cosplay

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Alicia Lutes@lutes· 12d

Oh yeah everything is fine in Los Angeles/America why do you ask????

Alicia Lutes@lutes· 21d

Chauncey may no longer live in a vent in my kitchen, but something tells me he hasn’t gone far either… THE END.

Alicia Lutes@lutes· 21d

At 27.5 hours there was a knock at my door: two maintenance guys heard about all I was dealing with and took pity on me, offering to help me free Chauncey. They removed the trash can and ensured he made his way out of my home! MY HEROES!!!

Alicia Lutes@lutes· 21d

Shortly after, I sobbed in the “experience department” office and said the word “fuck” too many times to a supervisor who did not appreciate that by hour 25 I had lost all calm, cool, and composure. I regret being upset but in my defense I HAD BEEN VERY CALM COOL AND COMPOSED FOR SO MANY HOURS!!

Alicia Lutes@lutes· 21d

And if you are wondering WHEN I had my full menty-b about the squirrel in my apartment it was around hour 24!!!! Which is also when I devised this genius contraption because, again, literally everyone—roommates, landlord, animal control—was refusing to help me!!!!

Alicia Lutes@lutes· 21d

Chaunce had a lot to say…

Alicia Lutes@lutes· 21d

Chauncey (named as such because he took a CHANCE that was DICEY) peed and shit and brought with him SIXTEEN NIGHTMARES WORTH OF DETRITUS from lord knows where…!!! 🤢

Alicia Lutes@lutes· 21d

I bake cookies so well it inspires squirrels to risk their lives and get STUCK IN MY KITCHEN FOR 27 HOURS because no one—not my apt complex or animal control—would help me remove it! lmao

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Jul 21

APPARENTLY I NEED TO CHANGE MY BUTTER RATIOS (browned vs. just melted) uuuuuuugh round two is only nominally better and that was mostly due to COOK TIME AND TEMP CHANGES They’re not bad but THEY CAN BE BETTER. Maybe I will swap out some of the browned butter for more brown sugar (vs. regular)?!?!

Brown butter gluten free black sesame chocolate chip cookies (with bitter, semisweet, and white chocolate)

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Jul 19

Sometimes you just gotta bake some gluten-free brown butter black sesame chocolate chip cookies about it, ya feel me?

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Jun 16

IMPORTANT WINSTON CONTENT ALERT

Winston the black pug mix shows off his very good teefs

Winston the black pug mix smiles like the main character of a Pixar film

Winston the black pug mix looks up at you, laying in the sunshine on a blue outdoor rug.

Winston the black pug mix sings the song of his people (begging for treats)

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Jun 1

Does anyone need some new photos of my dog Winston? @darthbluesky.bsky.social maybe?

Winston the black pug mix holds Alicia’s hand while sleeping with his tongue out.

Winston the black pug mix sits in the sun (also with his tongue out).

Winston the black pug mix looks at you to make sure you’re okay!!!

Winston the black pug mix shows off his natural beauty in the sun.

Alicia Lutes@lutes· May 28

I mean this is just SOME of what I’ve made in the last WEEK

Black cocoa and cream cheese brownies with smoked sea salt

Brown butter chocolate chip cookies with chocolate three ways (semisweet, dark, and white)

Brown butter black cocoa brownies with white chocolate chips.

Alicia Lutes@lutes· May 12

AND FOR THE RECORD, I do fucking wear makeup (even tho it is itchy and I feel very allergic to it/my skin reacts poorly) when I leave the house to go it somewhere nice or do my job! BUT YOU NEVER TAKE ME ANYWHERE NICE, DO YOU??????

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Apr 20

Does anyone need some perfect photos of my dog??? Guaranteed serotonin boost or your money back!!!

Winston the black pug mix sits and smiles wide at the crosswalk waiting his turn.

Winston the black pug mix and his friend Chewie the tan and white Maltipoo sit and expectantly wait for treats, teeth out, locked in.

Winston the black pug mix smiles with all his best teeth out while rooting for his friend’s kid all team.

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Apr 2

Ahh yes, cancellation ruins lives 🙄

Screenshot of the press release about Louis CK’s new Netflix comedy special.

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Mar 28

Starting this Sunday evening, I’m doing a twice weekly cooking livestream (one for baking, one for cooking) on IG (for now! May try to also stream to YT)!

A poster that reads “Lutie’s Chaos Kitchen: freshly baked. Streaming bi-weekly” and details that include “Tuesday Treats at 6PM PST” and “Sunday Supper at 5PM PST” as well as the Instagram handle @alicialutes and sketches of several food items.

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Feb 8

HEY LOS ANGELS DID I MENTION I AM THROWING AN ANTI-ICE BAKE SALE ON SUNDAY THE 8th?! From 10am - 2pm I will be slanging gluten-free and gluten-full baked goods I and a few friends make to benefit CHIR-LA!! Will also accept any donations to the cause! My goods are LEGIT and YES WINSTON WILL BE THERE!

Venmo for @alicia-lutes for donations for her anti-ICE bake sale.

A poster for Alicia’s anti-ICE bake sale happening 2/826 at 10pm-2pm at the intersection of w. 6th and Masselin in Los Angeles.

Winston the black pug mix smiles and IMPLORES YOU to come to Alicia’s bake sale on Sunday morning!!!

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Jan 29

okay I feel better now sorry everyone I love you okay here’s a picture of Winston to make up for it bye

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Jan 13

News? Bad! Winston? GOOD????

Winston the black pug mix stands up smiling wide, excitedly waiting for a treat

Winston the black pug mix stares in awe as he stands on his hind legs hoping for a treat!!!!

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Dec 15

This weekend’s news cycle has just been nonstop terrible. The worst of the worst. I dunno what to say about any of it, but Winston is here to provide two (2) serotonins to you each.

Winston, the black pug mix, looks out into the middle distance, his underbite gleaming in the winter sun.

Winston, the black pug mix, closes his eyes to enjoy the vitamin d, his underbite gleaming in the winter sun.

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Nov 21

Winston thanks you all for the love and he would like you to look over there so he can steal your lunch, xoxo

Winston the black pug mix sits very silly on a nice chair in his sherpa-lined denim vest.

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Nov 19

Important that you know it ALSO HAS HIS NAME ON IT

Winston the black pug mix shows off the cool patch with his name on the back of his denim jacket while he PEES ON A PLANT!!

Winston the black pug mix looks like a bad boy with a heart of gold in his new jacket.

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Nov 19

It was Winston’s birthday yesterday! He’s 4, but still a rascal! And also cold. So I got him a cool dude denim jacket and now he looks like he wants my lunch money.

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Nov 7

I truly have nothing to offer the world social commentary-wise, but I do have this photo of my dog being naughty by sitting on a TABLE!!!!

Winston the black pug mix sits on the table like a BAD BOY!!!!

Close up on Winston the black pug mix’s perfect, cartoon dog face!!

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Nov 1

For the record, Beta the dog we are watching ALSO tried on some of the costumes:

Beta the French bulldog dressed as an aggrieved purple unicorn.

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Nov 1

and how could I leave out JURASSIC WINN?

Winston the black pug mix dressed as a distressed dinosaur.

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Nov 1

The dog I am watching has so many costumes so we are having a fashion show and OH MY GOD WHO SHOULD WINNIE BE?

Winston the black pug mix dressed as a unicorn.

Winston the black pug mix dressed as a lion.

Winston the black pug mix dressed as a very sad-looking bunny.

Winston the black pug mix dressed as a Jimmy Buffet fan and/or Trader Joe’s employee.

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Oct 24

Hi guys, happy Friday. Winston is not sure who got into the yogurt container but he’s determined to find out!!!

Winston the black pug mix looks up at the camera, face covered in Greek yogurt.

Winston the black pug mix looks up at the camera, face covered in Greek yogurt, and licks his lips.

Alicia Lutes@lutes· Oct 14

My dog is a true master of getting treats out of people. He just looks at them with this face and the treats rain down upon him!!!