malaphor
@malaphor
I’ll be with you in a minute, Mr. Peabody!
Worth rolling the dice on a smoke headache to get a true high desert swim* in all to yourself *where it’s so hot you dry off without a towel in <20min
My coworkers don’t know how lucky they are that I have integrity bc otherwise this would have vanished days ago
I forgot about the Odyssey promotion briefly and thought Roku City was just on a PF Chang kick
One of the best American institutions: the middle-of-the-road hotel/motel pool We really cooked with these
Righteous indignation aside, I couldn’t turn down a free 3-day weekend so happy 4th from the dying mining town that was saved by a gay couple with the suggestion that it transform into a Bavarian-themed tourist village
2:15-2:30 must be the most discouraging runtimes to see on a movie. Too long to keep tight, too short for meditation. I don’t even trust the s-tier directors with it anymore.
I’m planning a family trip down the coast and my mom is not listening to reason when it comes to Prehistoric Gardens, saying it’s for kids. Prehistoric Gardens is for everyone.
I have a free siriusxm trial rn and this Studio 54 channel is playing straight disco bangers but won’t even give them the dignity of credits:(
My whiteboard tag ever since undergrad has been “C4D,” or, “CHICKEN FOR DESSERT” and idk why but it’s getting left up on all the boards in the building at work
Scouring thrifts and overpaying for vintage goods < mining your boomer hoarder parent’s house for goods they don’t realize have crossed the vintage threshold
We made it boys! Personal projects @ the neighborhood bar patio season has officially begun!
I have never, ever been the first one to want to go home from water so every time I go to the coast with someone I need an extra trip back just to spend the 4-5 hours on the beach like my soul desires Lincoln City was gorg yesterday
ATTENTION: going forward all black cat owners shall be required to outfit them with little pink collars and heart charms bc look at this gorgeous baby
Between the bargain bigass kites and finally swapping out the nasty grapefruit seltzer it’s about to be a hot costco summer
I hate Windows so much y’all. This shit reads like the grow up voices in Charlie Brown, how tf am I supposed to know what any of this means? And how tf do I know if finding out is important enough to spend all day playing phone tag w tech support?
Ok Seattle, it’s officially Shen Yun ad barrage season—the final countdown to springtime
After the new world is done waiting to be born we need to get rid of these fuck ass chairs once and for all
I feel like logging into my student loan portal is just payment date roulette at this point. I have no idea why this is but I ain’t saying shit.
I hate the name of these chocolate bars. If Tony has a candy empire and is still lonely that’s his problem and he should be embarrassed.
If I suddenly turned British I wouldn’t tell anyone, but there would be signs
I’m transitioning away from Spotify still (I’m trying, ok??) and gotta say it’s a bold move for a widely disdained platform to kick off their biggest day of the year by calling their listeners a bunch of old ass mfs