Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]

@masterblastoise

I'm just an eepy lil guy with hort tummy-itis, setting gender to "no" || CEO of Autism || Aspiring Game Dev, forever Brain Dead

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Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· 26d

say what you want abuot the sims 4 btu wha't other game can you have darht vader sellign floral kombucha his boyfreind made

mysim dresssed up as darth vader selling kombuxha at a food stall

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· 27d

They said I can't have snacks yet

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· 27d

Here's the bastard (These pics are like 3 or 4 years old I couldn't find any recent ones)

Mr Noodles, a beautiful dark chocolate covered Maine Coon sitting on a window sill lookin out the window

Mr Noodles, a beautiful dark chocolate covered Maine Coon sitting on a window sill lookin at the camera

Mr Noodles, a beautiful dark chocolate covered Maine Coon sitting on a window sill, yellin at me

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· 27d

I'm taking care of the cats this week while roommates are out of town One cat, Cowboy, is sweet as honey and the most babiest baby to ever baby The other cat, Mr Noodles, craves human flesh Mr Noodles, I have loved you for many years, over a decade, why do you only know violence

Picture of my hand with a band-aid on it

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· Jul 9

it's time

peach time meme but instead of peach it's mango time

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· Jul 8

POV: your sister is pissed off you won't battle her in Pokemon so she tries to make your Christian boyfriend cry

"A'ight," he hopped to his feet, "Thanks for showin me your Pokemon, Maisey! I ain't ever played one of the games before. The church says it's evil because it talks about evolution."

"You should burn your church down," Maisey said, "Pokemon is more real than God."

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· Jul 7

It's summer baybee you know what that means

Nobody:
Me eating a mango:

Various depictions of stick figures eating mangoes sloppily like little deranged freaks

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· Jul 4

y'know you can just admit you're wrong

post from me:
"the information presented in this article is incredibly misleading. there were only about 1600 participants across both surveys, and the voting population of Maine is approximately 964k. furthermore, who qualifies as "working class" isn't consistent across the two surveys."

quoted post is not longer visible because the user fucking blocked me lmao

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· Jul 3

Tyler, The Creator: Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Cyber Bullying Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk Away From The Screen Like Nigga Close Your Eyes Haha

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· Jun 21

I'm obsessed with the Monster Hunter Wilds Lagiacrus Palico armor it's fucking adorable

my Palico (named Poncho) in blue leather armor that looks like a jacket and hat of a pirate. there is a tiny eyepatch over his left eye that has a pawprint on it.

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· Jun 17

POV: it's 2008, you're 17, your brother maybe kinda has superpowers and can predict the future a little and the government took him away, and also you witnessed the bombing of an abortion clinic that is linked to a growing Aryan cult and there's some MIB guy watching you write in your journal

Haeley has been texting me frantically because some suits are at her house right now interrogated Al, they wanna know who all he talks to

I'm literally writing this as some fucking needle dick is lookin over my shoulder FUCK YOU BY THE WAY

YOU SMELL LIKE ASS

I BET ITS YOU DICK THAT STANK

YOUR WIFE HATES YOU SHE'S FUCKING ANOTHER MAN THE MOMENT YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE

SHE HATES YOU AND YOUR NASTY STANK ASS MICRO DICK AND SHE FANTASIZES ABOUT CHOPPING IT OFF

SHE HATES THE WAY YOU CUM BECAUSE YOU SOUND LIKE A HORSE WITH BLACK LUNG

YOUR KIDS ARE GONNA GIVE YOU THE PILLOW TREATMENT

DIE BITCH

Oh this motherfucker think he's SO FUNNY pointing out all my spelling and grammatical errors

HOW ABOUT I TAKE THIS FUCKING PEN AND STAB YOU IN THE FUCKING NECK HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THA

——

My parents are very mad at me, and I gotta go to school tomorrow

I should fucking be dead

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· Jun 16

Every single time Cowboy lays down in my lap he does this and I do not understand why it's always the one foot on my boob

Crude drawing of a person's lap with a poorly drawn cat on said lap but with exactly one hind foot on the person's boob

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· Jun 14

black and white portrait of Robert Downy Jr looking surprised or something against a white background. there is text to the left saying "HE'S MAKING SHIT UP TO MANIPULATE THE MARKET"

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· Jun 4

i really like Paralives a lot but this loading screen is giving "Get Out" and "token black guy" and it kills me every time i load into the game

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· Jun 3

let's not forget this classic

Worf, Data and Picard in a sci-fi dune buggy in Star Trek Nemesis

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· Jun 2

I'm sure it will later be revealed that this AI startup is actually the ghost of Hitler or whatever, but all the people handwringing about Scorsese killing pre-vis jobs clearly didn't read the article or know anything about his process.

“For 70 years, I’ve been creating my own storyboards,” Mr. Scorsese said in the statement. “There’s always been this problem of how do you communicate what you see in your head to your cast and crew. There are some things you have to see and feel.”

“Now with this tool,” he said, “I can share what I’m visualizing more clearly and efficiently to my creative team — the production designer, art designer and cinematographer.”

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· May 22

and then there's this

“I swear I don’t know Gary Boone, but my teacher read this stupid book to our class and now everyone is picking on me. Thanks a lot, Goon!”

—Phil Hart (Foxbury, North Dakota)

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· May 22

i think i've said before how my favorite book of all time is Dogs Don't Tell Jokes by Louis Sachar. anyway i'm looking through it again and one of the best parts of the book is the "The Critics Raved" section at the end where there's testimonials from the other characters about Gary's standup.

THE CRITICS RAVED:

“Hilarious! Stupendous! Amorphous!”

—Fred Furst

“I never stopped laughing. Funny? He redefined the word. Tunny’ doesn’t mean what it meant yesterday.”

—Angeline Persopolis

“He deserved to win. He was quite funny, in an amazing sort of way.”

—Nancy Langley

“Well, sure. I could have won too if I had shaved my head.”

—Matt Hughes

“The world’s greatest sandbagger!”

—Joe Reed

“He’s going to be famous someday.”

—Abel Persopolis

“That’s my son. I used to be known as quite a wit myself. Or was that a half-wit? Ha. Ha. He even looks like me. And who knows, maybe in a few years, after I lose a little more hair, he’ll look more like me.”

—Spencer Boone

“Brilliant! Just don’t look at him.”

—Prentice Boone

“I laughed. I don’t know why I laughed. But I laughed.”

—Mrs. Walls

“Yeah, he’s hilarious. Now, are we going to play football, or are we just going to stand around talking about Goon?”

—Zack

“I’ve known Gary since he was in my fifth-grade class. I always knew he had it in him. I was glad to see him finally reach his potential. Yuck, I sound just like a teacher, don’t I?”

—Melissa Turbone

“Way to go, Buster! Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for my mud bath.”

—Gladys Pigbubble Snitzberry

“I don’t get it.”

—Ira Feldman

“He’s the tops. He’s the Tower of Pisa. He’s the smile on the Mona Lisa.”

—Leslie Ann Cummings

“He’s still a you-know-what.”

—Ryan Utt

“Strange, but funny. Still, I don’t think he should have won first prize.”

—Brenda Thompson

“I didn’t think all the jokes about nudity were appropriate. This is a school, not a Las Vegas nightclub.”

—Mrs. Ward

“Like I’m really going to imagine Gary Boone naked. Gross!”

—Julie Rose

“You have to admire the Goon.”

—Paul Wattenburg

“How could flushing a toilet cause a garage door to open? That’s impossible.”

—Michael Higgins

“Don’t ask me. I don’t know who shaved his head.”

—Gus

“He’s got something inside him that I don’t think any of us realized before. There’s a spark.”

—Mrs. Carlisle

“So what? It was just a rinky-dink junior high school talent show.”

—Philip Korbin

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· May 21

THIS IS COPE THIS IS PURE FUCKING COPE screenrant.com/palpatine-re...

"PALPATINE'S STAR WARS RESURRECTION WAS GEORGE LUCAS' IDEA

By Thomas Bacon | Published Nov 1, 2022, 12:50 PM EDT

"Emperor Palpatine being resurrected in Star Wars canon was actually the brainchild of George Lucas himself. The greatest goal of the Sith has always been to conquer death, and Palpatine was the one who succeeded. After the events of Return of the Jedi, his spirit leaped into a clone body, and he hid himself away on a planet strong in the dark side while he developed a fleet of superweapons with which to retake the galaxy.

"Most Star Wars fans will recognize that as a summary of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. However, fans who are familiar with Star Wars' classic Expanded Universe will likely also realize it's an effective summary of Dark Empire, a miniseries by Tom Veitch and Cam Kennedy published in the early '90s. The story was very different - it saw Luke Skywalker fall to the dark side, for example - but the basic premise was the same. This was one of the most important stories in the old Star Wars Expanded Universe, but it was branded non-canon (or "Legends") after Disney acquired Lucasfilm in 2012."

"Lucas may have been the one to come up with the idea of a resurrected Palpatine, but he clearly had no interest in using the idea himself. It never figured in any of his plans for the sequel trilogy (indeed - had it done so, he'd probably have refused to give consent). He was, however, delighted with the comic book miniseries; he famously even gave copies of the comic out as Christmas presents. It's no exaggeration to say that Dark Empire had Lucas' blessing."

(first sentence highlighted by me for emphasis)

"Lucas may have approved of the idea of bringing Palpatine back, but he's stated many times that he's in favor of Star Wars always changing and evolving, suggesting that it was a story he wouldn't have been interested in telling. Nevertheless, while fans have called out the sequel trilogy for falling back on the villain when many had assumed Palpatine was gone for good, Dark Empire shows that not only did the idea already exist, but that George Lucas gave it his approval to enter Star Wars' official lore."

(again, first sentence highlighted by me for emphasis)

Boywife Astarion Enjoyers of America [Lemon Huzzy Era]@masterblastoise· May 19

the US embassy in China is actively engaging in disinformation campaigns to make capitalism look cool and good and communism look evil. for example, they report that the average salary for americans is 170k but do not report that that average is heavily weighted by billionaire outliers.