Matthew Bloch

@matthewblo

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Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Jul 14

💭

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Jul 12

This is not a category, #Connections

A hand opening a drawer that has no handle

A boy wearing an umbrella on his head - no handle!

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Jun 25

Makes The Day Today's graphics look pretty sober

Chris Morris standing in front of a nonsense graph with "Scale", "Man", "Drugs" and "Dead Children" in geometric shapes.

A graphic looking like something off BBC News from the 90s, with the title "Currency Susan", with pictures of 3 differently-dressed women standing in front of UK, Japanese & German national flags.

Another BBC news graphic entitled "Finance Arse" with the caption "But increased trading formed a unified arse at around lunchtime", illustrated with two globes close together looking like a bum

A news graphic showing a British policeman pointing a spray can at a cutaway diagram of a dog, with the dog apparently full of metal. The caption reads "The inside of the dog is destroyed but the outside stays the same shape". The outside of the dog is labelled "Resin".

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Jun 24

though Eternal Nightcap came back with me from my trip to Australia in 1997 and is still flawless

Cover of Eternal Nightcap by The Whitlams

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Jun 24

I mean, obviously

Suede's eponymous first album cover, showing two seated women kissing in a glowing sepia

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Jun 24

just a lovely gentle heat here in York

Arnold Toht melting after looking into the Ark, from Raiders Of The Lost Ark

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Jun 21

Got it

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Jun 14

barks about twice a year

A nearly silent greyhound, dozing on the carpet

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Jun 7

In my defence it used to be cheaper

An Amazon product page for the 4.5kg toblerone, headed with the phrase "Purchased 7 times"

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· May 21

you got The Claw 🫡

Chandler from Friends holding up his hand to show "the claw" after playing too much Ms Pac Man

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· May 6

He's gone a bit crack fox

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· May 1

can I join horse club

A magnificent black greyhound with a white chest standing on a track in a field

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Apr 26

There were definitely a few weeks of my life when I was 18 & living alone for the first time where I would kick this guy's ass after dinner.

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Apr 26

further bangers by the same artist www.facebook.com/groups/trash...

A woman in a spotty dressing gown wearing yellow tights, a grinch wig, yellow face paint, santa hat, sat on a sleigh, with three whippets attached to leads, each wearing a high-vis jacket.

A woman standing on a window sill with curtains drawn to her waist, doing a duckface. Jutting out below the curtain are two legs, way too far apart, each wearing a high heel and obviously belonging to different people.

A flower press, fully screwed down, apparently flattening the shins of a woman, out of shot.

An ordinary desk with hands coming out of each of the cable holes, one with a cigarette, the other a glass of red wine. A pair of kneelings legs are visible behind the desk's back board.

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Apr 20

Peter Serafinowicz as Brian Butterfield, looking dynamic in front of shelves full of binders - the caption is TREAT DAY

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Apr 14

Game idea for the Crystal Maze, if ever I heard one (from this excellent article on space toilets) mceglowski.substack.com/p/lets-talk-...

The Skylab toilet was a hit with the astronauts and helped inform the design of the next chapter in orbital elimination, the Space Shuttle toilet.

One piece of feedback from Skylab was that the toilet needed stronger airflow. This meant the Shuttle toilet opening had to be narrow. To practice correctly positioning their body, astronauts on Earth sat on a special training mockup with a camera mounted in the center of the waste tube. A successful docking with the device meant precisely centering one’s nether eye in the crosshairs of a video screen while crewmates looked on and yelled their encouragement.

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Apr 7

Time to pop down to the Red Lion for 3 pints

Ford Prefect telling Arthur Dent that he's not from Guilldford after all

A surprised barman being told to keep the change from a fiver

Ford and Arthur at the bar, staring at 6 pints

Ford and Arthur drinking their pints, staring out of the pub window

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Apr 4

Signing my daughter into the kids club before the exercise class, vs signing her out again

Guy Fawkes famous pair of signatures before and after his interrogation / torture

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Mar 24

Relaxation tips from Sean

A greyhound fully upside down, curved round a corner sofa, only nose and teeth visible

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Mar 17

Good morning

A foreshortened black and white greyhound standing on a path in a field

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Mar 10

This is still one of my favourite movie reviews www.capalert.com/capreports/s...

The most foul of the foul words was clearly spoken by the children at least 131 times and many other times in a muffled or garbled way as well as in rapid uncountable succession in song [Col. 3:8].

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Mar 9

Ohhhhh nooooooo my 6yo's primary school is advertising British Science Week activities with a slop poster. It's going to take all evening to pitch a firm response that doesn't make me sound insane 😬 but I genuinely think it's damaging to kids creative instincts to normalise this stuff around school.

AI slop poster for Science Week 2026, featuring a fucked up car, a fucked up solar system and a robot with an orange for a hand. Also the weird prompt "curiosity: what's your question?" at the bottom.

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Mar 5

School went with "decorate a potato" for world book day, alors, mein amis, zis is famous détective Montgomery Bonbon @misterabk.bsky.social

Matthew Bloch@matthewblo· Mar 2

Ah man, it's 25 years today we lost this dumdum. I wish I could hang out with more people who remember him! Chris was truly sensitive and kind with his brilliance and brashness, such an important friend to me. Appropriate accompaniment - lnk.to/MassOfTheChi...