fat peridot. like if you agree

having to invent Sex Two™ out of necessity (through having impossible deviantarty kinks, very little experience of sex at nearly three decades of life, being physically disabled enough to prevent traditional lovemaking, and the combination of that meaning i likely fall somewhere on the ace spectrum)

between this, a holdup in my crohns meds meaning inflammation is back, and my place in reality and existence still feeling clouded and damaged, it really feels like my mind and body are falling apart. but trying to be gentle and kind and make the most of my gifts before then

oh dear....a tooth fell out at breakfast. the metaphor of being a permakid continues to apply in so many ways

i'll be real: introjecting toon headmates can be fun, it's basically TF irl and it's a positive way of taking dissociation under my control - but this power *is* also the closest thing to black magic (spelt with or without the k at the end) that i've ever experienced, and trust me i'm a sceptic

plural update: richard watterson is up here now.

- graduated DeVry University at age 3 - played Paul on "The Wonder Years" - lived in a castle made of cheese - was a furry - failed the hearse driving test 8,000 times - knew Albert Einstein - fell down a mineshaft and died

PATRICK DIE UNDER A ROCK

>sort of implying his full name is Bilbhouse Baggins

lonely jar jar binks looking for some fun hitting you up like "Text messa..."

had a dream last night where i found the most swagful varsity jacket that i wish existed irl. baby blue with pink vertical trim, black MK (Michael Kors) embossed trim at the base, and on the back an ovular roundel with a picture of Johnny Bravo also wearing a varsity jacket

lrt me in my current dissociative state feeling grief at being unable to truly enter the cartoon world/form that fundamentally feels more spiritually and emotionally truthful than the "real" material world right now, and i think has done for a very long time

thinking about lrt and the rest of ida's thread, and considering whether to just go all out and share my most private, Problematique art - stuff i love and adore for what it is, but which i'm still a lil wary of posting publicly for my own safety more than anything

thoroughly alienated by the world of work as someone who has pretty much never had a Job....and yet although this state of affairs is in part responsible for feeling on a seperate plane to so many other people, it's also one i wish to sustain as much as possible

"Holy Shit, I've Got A Great Idea, I'm Such A Genius STOP I Think I Should Get A Patent STOP I Need To Go To The Tokyo Patent Office STOP"

always looking to find music that pierces the veil exposed within me by dissociation, revealing some fundamental truth or spirituality or honesty within reality or the mind. i think John Frum music gets there www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8cn...

trying my usual keytar setup but going into an amp rather than headphones or speakers. it's a no-frills practice amp, but with the gain turned up i can get some pleasingly gnarly tones especially with logic's stock hammond organ sound #transmusicians #furrymusicians #keytar

also at photos of the film director Agnes Varda, who died at 90. i don't know any of her work but pics like these are telling me that i have the choice to carry forth the same style, appearance and energy through as much of my life as i want, in a fun and positive way too

some cool news: i'll be performing at next month's edition of Without End, a live sound-drawing workshop in Exeter. my first live show of any kind since 2024 and my first as part of a group since the mid-2010s! draw, write, sit, dream... #livemusic #ambient #exeter #transmusicians

the obvious ur-mood, the one who's had a multitudinious impact on my life these last 13 years and who i have direct experience of "Becoming" irl - the sheer euphoria of embodying this goober/imagining such is one that can barely be described, that a drawn TF sequence could only really hint at

posting that causes muppet TF?!? finally social media's good for something after all...

always good to see a meme that evokes a striking passage from one of my favourite novels (The Descent by Jeff Long)

me-to-character transformation is one specific genre of TF i greatly enjoy - it's a fun, cute and affirming practice that helps me better understand different aspects of myself. here's a few pics from the last couple years of me getting into character 👀 #MKArtReposts #TFEveryday #characterTF

i guess it takes going through (pseudo?)psychosis to be able to identify a visual - even one from a kids show - as feeling genuinely psychotic in nature, a window back into the nightmares of a mind that for so many days and weeks was genuinely lost. unrelated but who's getting the best head

maybe this says more about my mind than this show, but this particular S1 smear-frame (from "The Spoon") is one that still really chills me - i found it strongly evocative of my very scary mental health episodes from last year and partly this year, some of which directly involved Worl Gumble

thinking about the sheer *expressiveness* of the first production block of S1, not the overdetailed wild-takes of later seasons but an endearing squash-stretch that sits within/establishes the art style (here more clearly indebted to midcentury anime than in later seasons) rather than breaks it

yeah kinda,