Matt (Taylor’s Version)

@mattyew

Retired mommyblogger

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Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· 2d

okay but I fully support Girl Taz

AI slop puts the Tasmanian Devil in girl’s clothes. Maybe Taz has been female this whole time and it was wrong of me to assume he was a “he” in the first place

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· 8d

The last line of this @electrolemon.bsky.social review really hits because when my gf watched this with me it was the first comic book movie she’d ever watched and she had a lot of questions. My time to shine

demi adejuyigbe Letterboxd review of Spider-Man No Way Home:

pissed with myself. i cried at the spider-man movie. they tried it sooo many times here and one of them actually worked on me. just fucking humiliating
i have a lot of misgivings about this movie and this iteration of spider-man entirely but i kinda think jon watts is one of the best directors the mcu has right now and i'm excited to eventually see him direct a comedy that is untethered from a "universe." i had fun! guys who love leaning over and loudly explaining something to their girlfriend are reeeeally gonna have a lot of fun

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· 9d

Odysseus told me the sea keep eating his men so l asked how many men he has and he said he just goes to the ship and gets
new men afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just feeding men to the sea and then Zendaya started crying. Original post by Mike Primavera @primawesome sorry for ruining it just for my stupid little joke

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· 10d

Christopher Nolan thought he could hide this guy but nothing gets by me

Josh Stewart’s IMBD page. He’s in like every Nolan movie

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· 11d

Only person capable of being Cody Mauch is Cody Mauch

before and after pic of Cody Mauch from his time in college, he arrived a cherubic TE and left a grizzled OT. Tweet captioned “my man did college the right way” username is unfortunately cut off so I’m not sure who posted this

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· 12d

the four kinds of deleted tweets

Emmanuel Acho deleted tweet: Legalizing weed in track and field competition is all good if you're running in a straight line.
Legalizing weed in track and field competition is terribly dangerous if you throw the javelin.
Where do we draw line.

Andrew Yang deleted tweet: Do I know black friends of Joe's who would swear by him? Yes I do.

Julie K Brown deleted tweet: So I'm going to slammed for this... from people I love — but I have to ask how can you be obsessed by fiction - yes "we" get how important it is — but at a time like this? I'm reading history books about how the fuck it came to this. Bracing for the hate.

John Clayton (RIP GOAT) deleted tweet: The

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· 17d

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· 20d

….good? What am I missing here

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· 20d

What’s up with this guy

Aric Toler, who works for the NYT, post about a NYT article

The exact same post, word for word, by shipwreck75, who does not work for the NYT

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· 27d

BOROMIR: What new devilry is this? ME: it’s a new cereal flavor. I don’t know how they made it either. I think General Mills has access to dark magicks BOROMIR: Isildur’s Bane is found. ME: yeah that guy fuckin loved root beer BOROMIR: It is a gift. ME: it’s just breakfast dude

Cinnamon Toast Crunch root beer float flavor

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· 29d

I’ve only played Elden Ring but I really like this spot in the DLC if you have Sacred Relic, you go from Fingerstone Hill back to the bridge site of grace and back, and wipe out all the worms, you can turn it into a circuit run. You can also add in wiping some of the fingercreepers for added runes

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· Jul 11

Text exchange between me and my mom:
Mom: “I knew her from Amazing Raxe. Very obnoxious. I would scream at the tv every week when she would make it to the next trip”

Text from me: “oh okay nevermind they just threw her into a volcano”

Text from Mom: Good. I hope she didn’t hurt the volcano”

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· Jul 8

Wolfpupy tweet: “I wake up, trip and fall into the toilet, both me and the toilet fall out the window in to the dumpster. the dumpster rolls in to the sewer”

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· Jul 2

going to the America 250 celebration seeing It Happen live

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· Jun 30

The Holy Trinity

A car with stickers for the New York Yankees, Oklahoma City Thunder, and Green Bay Packers

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· Jun 26

Who knew this tweet would so accurately predict the future

Classic Stev_D tweet: We're a modest company with modest goals:
1: sell a quality product at a fair price
2: drain the world's oceans so we can find and kill god

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· Jun 25

this freak thinks hypocrisy is worse than Holocaust denial. Nothing is worse than Holocaust denial. How hypocritical of them

a joke misunderstander quoting a joke that they misunderstood

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· Jun 24

Phillies win probability graph but I turned it into a joke about how annoying I was as a child

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· Jun 21

receipts

Texts from me: I have a tragic story
The last pants that I bought online are the relaxed fit and they're too loose. I needed the regular fit, I bought the wrong ones
Texts from a poor woman who doesn’t deserve to be put through this:
Ohhh babe.
Your pant saga is so wild

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· Jun 20

Holy shit

Alt text of my half-assed joke post basically saying the same thing as a real post: “Hi, thank you for your reporting from the front lines of the protests and we're all very sorry that the cops broke your shoulder, but could you please remember to post pictures with alt text?
Your visually-impaired followers would appreciate it. Hopefully you made it to somewhere safe!”

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· Jun 4

Wasted two 2K seasons with Jets. Why do I always get Jets

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· Jun 3

Now you’re cooking! This is a great idea — and it will make sure everyone understands the point of your film.

the ending of The Departed, with more rats

Matt (Taylor’s Version)@mattyew· Jun 2

I don’t think I understand how this game works because to me playing Dirk Nowitzki at PF and having Anthony Mason beat up people from SF is a guaranteed 60 wins already