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maybenotalizard (@maybenotalizard) · DIRTY

maybenotalizard

@maybenotalizard

Hacker, Slacker, Midnight Snacker. Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.

269 Following262 Followers276 Posts

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maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· 8d

#startrek facts

Picard says: It is possible to commit mistakes and still lose.
Data holding a controller and wearing a headset: I agree sir, it was because of the lag and the cheaters.

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Jul 24

He's just a little guy #jimothy

A depiction of the Pokemon eevee with short spine syndrome

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Jul 23

#frog nice sized leopard frog, 7ish cm

Close up photo of a leopard frog in freshly mowed grass

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Jul 21

A play on the movie poster for Dune depicting everyone's friend Jimothy

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Jul 17

#caturday #cat #smile #kneelbeforezod

A cat with a crab carapace helmet looking at you demanding to be worshipped.

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Mar 12

#startrek #Metameme #meme Roger, Roger.

Beverly: Wait a minute. I know you! You're James Worthy. You play basketball for the LA Lakers.
Tall Klingon: I'm sorry, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Koral. I'm the Klingon pilot.
Beverly: I think you're the greatest, but my captain says you don't work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try, except during the playoffs.
Koral: The hell I don't!

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Mar 3

Sulu: captain? The check engine light just came on

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Mar 1

Movie poster in black and white featuring a closeup of the Gorn captain wearing round sunglasses with a reflection of Captain Kirk.
Poster reads:
The Metrons made them superstars
Natural Gorn Killers

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Feb 21

The last saved photo of a celebrity is your therapist

Capt Janeway: Advice, Mr Tuvok?
Tuvok: A photon torpedo
Janeway: BETTER advice, Mr Tuvok
Tuvok: Two photon torpedos

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Feb 2

*sigh* Kira please.
Ben, Ben, Ben... It's fine, I know what I'm doing...
*kira is holding a spiky bat with the label "negotiating with Dukat stick" *

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Jan 4

*Inside Mount Doom*
Samwise: Frodo!
Frodo: Please Sam no, not again
Samwise: If I take one more step, I'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Dec 7

Random Kazon: You, Janeway, will come alone by shuttle.
Seska: We're not falling for your "We're beaming someone over to negotiate" Ambassador Torpedo routine.
*Janeway and Checotay share a look*
Janeway: But he's so friendly though

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Nov 27

You've just died. The 6th picture in your phone gallery is what killed you. I looked.

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Nov 18

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Nov 8

Spock: I have a half brother
Kirk: Different mothers?
Spock: Shark attack

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Oct 23

Mark Twain: My boss keeps touching me inappropriately.
Troi: You should go to HR.
Twain: But I'm self employed.

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Oct 20

Picard: Back in the 2000s people paid money to name stars in this sector. They believed that we would actually call the stars those names!
Riker: surely that's the biggest rip off ever?
Data: Captain, we are now approaching Gary Ballsack 22

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Oct 17

Picard: I found a recipe from Morocco for homemade dinner rolls. It called for fresh thyme by mine was outdated. Nevertheless, I used it anyway.
Riker: How did it turn out?
Picard: You know, I really liked that old thyme Moroccan roll.
Riker: *face palm*

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Oct 2

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Sep 19

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Sep 10

If everyone on Star Trek: TNG wore the same uniform as Counselor Troi

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Sep 9

No I don't want to talk about how I got these scratches. But if you want to know how many squirrels fit in a pillowcase, the answer is nine.

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Sep 9

When you turn up late to the party and everyone's already on drugs

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Sep 8

Diana: tell me about your mother.
Barclay: she used to say I could be an idiot sometimes.
Diana: how did that make you feel?
Barclay: it was nice to have her permission.

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Sep 7

Her: I don't know how I can pay my rent... *Unbuttons blouse*
Him: oh I think there's a way... *Unzips pants*
Everyone else playing Monopoly:

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Sep 5

Captain Kirk sitting with a slash through his shirt and visible blood trail: "so I'm sitting there, barbeque sauce on my tiddies"

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Sep 2

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Sep 2

Hieroglyphs depict a scene of ancient Egyptians planning health packs, weapons, and ammo around their tombs so Lara Croft can use them one day

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Sep 1

Sure, but...

Lt Shax, reporting for duty.

maybenotalizard@maybenotalizard· Aug 31

Miss Frizzle: Battle stations, everyone!!!
Kids: We never violated the Prime Directive at my old school...

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