sam (@maybury) · DIRTY

sam

@maybury

I main front runners in umamusume because I'm an afFront to god popsicle junkie extraordinaire DNI: the city of Potsdam, Tornado Chasers

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sam@maybury· 26d

god is real and i am his favorite

Scout Results: Valentine Mihono Bourbon

obtained off of a single random trainee ticket (trainee exchange points 0 » 1)

one of the premier front runners in the game, which as a front runner main is very nice to get

umamusume pretty derby gacha may have been unkind to me over on light hello and tachyon but this kinda makes up for it.

sam@maybury· Jul 16

chat is this bad?

air quality in Minneapolis last night: 403 aqi which is like vaping the fumes from a car exhaust pipe

sam@maybury· Jul 10

revelling in the declining prominence of one of my oldest enemies:

the evil centerset single handle spiky crystal orb of pain faucet. Unintuitive and baffling, this invention of this baby is to ergonomics what the library of alexandria burning was to general knowledge.

sam@maybury· Jul 2

I will hit Uf once summer maru ssr banner drops later today

Tokai Teio rank Ug8, my highest ranked Uma to date. Unity Cup is wild.

sam@maybury· Jul 2

new uma update is nuts. The U in U rank stands for Unity Cup

Haru Urara Rank Ug4. 1186 speed, 489 stamina, 1191 power, 667 guts, 1411 wit. Skills include Professor of Curvature, Straightaway Adept, Focus, It's On!, No Stopping Me!, Homestretch Haste, Straightaway Spurt, Hesitant Front Runners + Pace Chasers, Unyielding Spirit, Intense Gaze, Tail Held High, Daring Strike, Ignited Spirit Power.

sam@maybury· Jun 18

!SPOILERS FOR TODAY'S POKEDOKU! tic-tac-toe 3 in a row

2026 June 18 Pokedoku. There are three shiny Pokemon in a row, diagonally from bottom left to top right. Emboar Mega, Hoopa Unbound, and Ursaluna.

sam@maybury· Jun 18

this motorcycle apparently

motorcycle handlebars with a small embossed plate that reads "dip me in honey and throw me to the lesbians"

sam@maybury· Jun 14

We did it Joe

Summer Maruzensky reaching rank U-g with a rating of 19688

sam@maybury· Jun 11

no pride without diatomaceous earth i guess? #carbonmonoxidecore

screenshot of my drafts, cropped to show a single skeet: "no pride without diatomaceous earth"

diatoms are welcome at pride ig. diatomaceous earth works bc bugs are inherently homophic. Q.E.D.

sam@maybury· Jun 10

please just let me get U rank

Maruzensky achieves a rating of 19,573. This is just a few small points shy of the threshold for Ug rank

sam@maybury· Jun 7

smdh stop eating the baby's food!

assign tab for my rimworld colony. all the colonists are set to Food Policy: don't eat baby food dumbass

sam@maybury· May 15

whole squad locking in at the same time

sam@maybury· May 14

endoids and latechuds don't even dream of seeing win rates like this

summer maruzensky with a 55% win rate, 85% top two rate and 90% top 3 rate.

sam@maybury· May 14

Frontmogging the backliners

5 wins in graded league round one of Taurus cup champions meeting. Team consists of Mejiro Palmer, Summer Maruzensky, and Silence Suzuka

sam@maybury· May 6

the doomed crush on a straight boy leaving my body when I learn that he uses AI

sam@maybury· Apr 29

why is my Tomodachi Life accurately portraying the origins of the King's Hand

Tomodachi life living the dream Mii manifested the King's Hand from her dream. The king's hand is a hollow, hand-shaped m&m cookie filled with Greek salad.

sam@maybury· Apr 28

holy shit I won Aries Cup group A Finals by 5 lengths

Champions Meeting Aries Cup (CM12) graded league A finals results.

1st- My Summer Maruzensky by 5 Lengths
2nd- opponent Valentine Bourbon
3rd- My Smart Falcon
4th- opponent Seiun Sky

sam@maybury· Apr 25

thank you Marvelous Sunday for giving my entire team Hesitant Pace Chasers and letting me mog xoguris to death so hard that even my 720 speed dominator beats them

image of my team going top 3 in round 1 of aries cup cm. Notably, my 720 speed dominator Rudolf beat a properly built max speed Xmas oguri somehow

sam@maybury· Apr 23

i think the people of north and south dakota would welcome us as liberators.

Location of Minnesota Territory (1849-1858) with 2026 contiguous U.S. borders.

sam@maybury· Apr 10

only took 26 (completed) tries to get an ace for CM12. Xmas Oguri I am coming to end you.

Left side: Summer Maruzensky
1200 speed, 610 stamina, 1107 power, 635 guts, 1200 wit
Turf A, Medium S (and Long S for some reason idk she only had like 1 spark for that), Front A

skills: A kiss for courage lvl 5, Angling and Scheming, Victory Cheer!, Right-Handed ⦾, Standard Distance ○, Firm Conditions ○, Professor of Curvature, Taking the Lead, Final Push, Up-Tempo, Hesitant Pace Chasers, Front Runner Corners ⦾, Dodging Danger, Leader's Pride, Triple 7s, Groundwork, Radiant Star

Right side: List of veteran umas (completed runs) showing 26 completed summer maruzensky runs with a smattering of other umas

sam@maybury· Apr 2

ah shit here we go again

umamusume cm 12 graded league qualified for group A finals

sam@maybury· Mar 27

the stats for this cm are brutal, hitting high enough wit is where I'm struggling. so glad next cm is a medium

TM Opera O

1200 speed, 1113 stamina, 1200 power, 547 Guts, 558 Wit

Long S, Turf A, Pace A

Barcarolle of Blessings, Right Handed OO, Professor of Curvature, Swinging Maestro, Straightaway Adept, Breath of Fresh Air, Homestretch Haste, Prepared to Pass, Long Corners OO, Pace Corners OO, Straight Descent, Headliner, Radiant Star

sam@maybury· Mar 13

the wind in Minneapolis was wicked intense last night

picture of a residential street in Minneapolis. there is a very large tree (roughly 10m or 35feet long) that fell across it. The tree landed on a white/silver Buick and crushed it. My neighbor is having a very bad Friday the 13th.

sam@maybury· Mar 10

this cm is mine muahahaha >:)

my three umas, summer maruzensky, taiki shuttle and el condor pasa, placing top 3 in round 2 group A of the graded league champions meeting. the next closest finisher was 5 lengths behind pasa.

sam@maybury· Mar 9

they look like a mascara wand

a mascara wand. the brush end of it looks a little bit like a small caterpillar on a strand of grass.

sam@maybury· Feb 27

i love my pink diva eiscue

shiny eiscue on a tropical beach at night sitting next to its trainer.

sam@maybury· Feb 18

let's gooooo so glad I built smart falcon halfway through round 2 of the cm bc she absolutely clutched it here

umamusume Capricorn cup champions meeting graded league group A results, 1st place finish

sam@maybury· Feb 16

today is a holiday in the us but did you know that tomorrow is also a holiday ?

Google calendar notification reminding you that tomorrow is the anniversary of Rush Limbaugh's death

sam@maybury· Feb 15

Capricorn cup is RNG which means sometimes this happens

5 win finish in graded league round 1 of Capricorn cup. my runners are Taiki, air groove and bakushin

sam@maybury· Feb 10

I love this little creature

a colored sketch of a badnik from sonic CD. this one is a red caterpillar like creature with a 4-segmented body including one head and three sections with legs and spikes. The legs and spikes look very similar, and are clustered in groups of four on each of the segments. The head has antennae, two eyes that are not compound, and a smile with two fangs.