Michael Gerber, bon vivant
@michaelgerber
Boss @ American Bystander. Proud papa of Barry Trotter. Cerebrally Palsied. Survivor of bonus mystery illness. Lover of print comedy & cartoons, Worsley acupuncture, qigong, trains, chicken curry. Mayor of Santa Monica (unofficial).
And if Matt Taibbi were “a man” he would make it VERY CLEAR (with character, and physical strength if nec) that shit was not acceptable around him. Real trad masc radiates dignity & protection. The only men I’ve met obsessed with teasing/testing like this have been addicts not in sobriety.
The Obama Library, looking as good as it’s ever gonna look. Sorry, is this where Chicago stores all its road salt? It didn’t have to look like a Post Office, but we can’t cede all of traditional culture to the Fascists, then wonder why voters fall for their “we’re the REAL Americans” bullshit.
In the 24 hours after smoking a Cuban Montecristo No. 3 cigar, I have • written nearly two chapters of Barry Trotter 4 • started a new Substack I call the Monte #3 "The Murderer of Sleep"
After being hungover and oversleeping a meeting at the White House with JFK: “You can always meet a President, but you can’t always get a great piece of ass.”—Jim Garrison 1962
Have we stopped to consider the very real possibility that "RFK Jr." is just RFK buried in a Pet Sematary?
Missed the Kickstarter for Tom Chitty’s Nooks and Crannies of New York? DON‘T BE SAD — you can still reserve your copy here: www.kickstarter.com/projects/mic...
This is Big Max. He isn’t feeling very well today. Seems to be something serious with his kidneys. Any good thoughts you could send his way, he would appreciate it. And so would I.
"After this well-publicized dustup with the Trump Administration, the Vatican has decided to send over the big guns: Father Guido Sarducci."
I’m for birthright citizenship, but yes I agree it was stupid to let Donald Trump be a US citizen
A president who thinks the “Special Relationship” is about himself and a 13-year-old girl
Been waiting for this day. In 2000, Larry Summers called up @newyorker.com pissed off about a humor piece @schwarz.bsky.social and I wrote which made him out to be a callous, clueless asshole. We were blackballed at TNY, so Larry could achieve ever-greater levels of assholedom unbothered by satire.
"On behalf of America's Constantly Pants-Shitting Community: Let us judge Mr. Trump on his deeds & character, not one unfortunate live-mic mishap. Countless Americans suffer from Unruly Colon. Let's not add to their awful burden by unfairly stigmatizing extra-lavatorial defecation. Thank you."
Whenever I see him i think of how Sulla was consumed by worms
For the first time in a decade, I'm not horribly depressed this Christmas. I am celebrating my good fortune this year by reminding anybody who needs it—there is help.
That is not perspective, this cigar is as immense as a palm tree
An all-time great, but he forgot "THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER." For this, he will have a negative mark, at least in my mind.
LA Deli-lovers will feel me on this: Went to Bay Cities for the first time since it re-opened, and that Godmother sandwich was like an old friend.
If Trump thinks you’re funny, you’re not in the comedy business. You’re doing something else, no matter what excuses you give St Peter.
Just learned this is the AI-assisted brainchild of the incomparable @schwarz.bsky.social
Happy JAWS-iversary to all! I was 6 when JAWS premiered, and have spent the rest of my life fascinated and terrified out of my mind. That summer, on a family trip to Connecticut, I wouldn't go in past my knees. Today I live six blocks from a Great White nursery. Still...not past the knees. :-)