Be a shame if someone took this literally!

sorry, I may have spent too much time walking around Midtown yesterday afternoon

I guess you never know what your version of Proust's madeleine will be until you encounter it, like how I saw one of these today in the wild and it kinda fucked me up

The bowling part of this one at least makes sense (mostly?) but the sex part of the metaphor seems imprecise at best

Wait, what’s the sexual situation in which a person would need hard balls?

I have two problems with this: one, that big ball would actually be harder to score with, and two, is there any overlap between “American soccer fan” and “Big Johnson t-shirt wearer”

Now that I’m image-searching vintage Big Johnson shirts (totally normal thing to do), I have to wonder if they were designed by teens who had never actually had sex

Fellas: have you ever tried to have sex with your car

This is such a half-hearted attempt to enter the discourse. Embarrassing stuff, just running on fumes.

I'm sure it's fine

I'm at my parents' house helping to clean out the attic, i.e. unearthing the origin stories of all my personal traumas

Peak '90s short story: narrator who hates working in an office, nothing happens, Alicia Silverstone reference

In college, did I write a short story called "Apathy" in which the narrator is doing a crossword and can't think of a six-letter word for "indifference?" Yes. Yes I did.

Apparently I went to college at a very specific technological moment: when your Milton professor couldn't expect you to actually make a website, but she might ask you to write a paper DESCRIBING a hypothetical website

Finally, Spotify has identified my core musical identity: coastal grandmother

s/o to all my writer friends getting rejected but keeping the faith

apparently the little bed icon is for booking a hotel, and not "good luck staying up past the fourth inning, old man"

It took me a while to realize this sign is meant to have commas

I got to incorporate this image into a slide deck for my creative writing class today. It's nice to be reminded periodically that you did, in fact, make the correct career choice

My trying to convince my bosses that they shouldn't replace me with an AI "professor"

And after Eddie Vedder specifically asked him not to!!

Look how cool we were (someone send this to the Criterion people for their “the 90s do the 70s“ feature

Wonder if I can get this in time for AWP or if I should ship directly to the convention center

We've been talking about narrative framing in my first-year-writing class, which can sometimes be a tough concept for students to wrap their heads around, so s/o to this drop-down menu, which is going to make my job today much easier.

“When you coming home, Dad?”

Sometimes while slogging through a gray winter day you listlessly flip through a legal pad, looking for a blank page you can use for your class attendance, and happen upon the Barrelhouse Writer Camp dance party playlist

My possibly unhinged belief is that The Pitt and The OC exist in the same cinematic universe and Oliver Trask is still up to some evil shit!

They call this rhetorical move "the self-Chotiner"

I let out a little involuntary yelp, like when a character in a movie says the title of the movie

It's good to get out of the Bluesky bubble every now and then and see what folks are up to in the neighborhood facebook groups