Max Burbank
@mxburbank
Dad, husband, pants aficionado, raconteur, former pussycat dollI; permanently suspended from Twitter before it was cool to not be on Twitter. Life-long-lefty; Comedy archive at maxburbank.wordpress.com I BLOCK CRYPTO DUDES!
Maybe it's wild fires in Canada, but my walk to work smelled like I was inhaling directly over the Creepy Crawlers Thingmaker set I had in 1971. Hot metal and plasti-goop. Of course it could also be a neurological event. I don't know why I couldn't get burnt toast or popcorn like a normal person.
So, my sense is the only people outside the MAGA bubble who think this photo is real are the Oligarch owned media.
OK. I've sat on this for a bit, made myself not go for an immediate hot take. I do not believe this photo is real, for a host of reasons, the biggest being that Mitch looks several years younger. His hair is darker. His skin tighter. Add that to MAGA willingness to lie about anything any time...
Must be a hell of a hospital to make Mitchy about seven years younger than he was when he went in.
I can't believe it took me until today to think of the nickname "Gonad Trump"? I mean, "Damn Old Trump" was fine, but "Gonad Trump" sounds like something he'd come up with if he himself was bullying someone named "Donald Trump" #GonadTrump
Can you believe this mthrfckr is STILL calling Biden "sleepy Joe"? We should call him "Sleeping Don."
Try to live a life where when you are on your death bed, more than 1/2 the nation doesn't think it's hilarious. Pretty low frikkin' behavioral bar, but Mitch is a pro. I'm just glad his wife isn't in the country to see this.
In the entire history of human life on earth, has any person spent as much of their lives publicly praising themselves as Donald Trump? I bet he's spent more hours actively bragging then he has sleeping.
You could pull a random High School Sophmore out of class and they'd almost certainly know more about any topic you choose than Trump, and while in some cases that might not be the case, I guarantee you they could provide more accurate information.
The Republican Congress is the most ball free political assemblage since keeping a court full of eunuchs on hand was a thing.
I call this photo: "The only 20 minute conversation Mitch McConnell has had lately."
I call this photo: Marco Rubio thinking "I'm the only one in this administration who understands our journey ends in a jail cell and then an eternity in Hell, and yet, here I still am, so I have to conclude I deserve it."
Every day, without fail, the Trump Regime works tirelessly to make the USA more vulnerable than at any point since the immediate aftermath of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor.
IN OTHER NATO SUMMIT NEWS!! "Trump is expected to bring 1,400 people with him to Turkey, including those responsible for bringing back his toilet waste – a standard protocol to prevent other countries analysing the material for intelligence about his health. " -The Guardian.
Hey, Trump just posted about the state of his health on Truth Social! I was pretty down in the dumps about masked fascists marching in DC on the nation's 250th, but I feel better now! Thanks "Dumbold"! You cheered me up so much I made you your own nickname! #DumbOldTrump
I'm proposing an agenda item for any D running for president in 2028: The "Donald Trump Erasure Act" would call for the removal of all physical changes to the Capital committed by Trump, to be restored with historical accuracy to it's state prior to his presidency. #DonaldTrumpErasureAct #DTEA
It's July 4th and Nazis are marching in the nations capitol right now. Has our nation's president made any comment, pro or con Nazis marching in the nations capitol? He has not. My guess is he's saving it for his speech tonight, and I imagine it's gonna make "Great people on both sides" seem mild.
There's one person in this picture who isn't going straight to Hell. You think it's hot in DC? Wait.
Just as Scaramucci gave us a new way to measure time (Man, that fight only lasted 6 Scaramuccis!), the Great American State Fair has given us a new way to count attendance; (Wow, Taylor Swift's Wedding had, like, 100 Great American State Fairs at it!)
The Bicentennial. 14, lefty kid, lefty family. But we were all into it. Everyone was. Even if you knew all the f-ed up shit about our history, you could see the good in striving to make the best of our ideals real for all people. Maybe again one day, But there's gonna be a lot of scar tissue.
It's my 64th July 4th on the planet. Through Nixon, Reagan, Bush Dad and son. The one thing those guys never did, the thing that's NEVER BEEN DONE is taking partisan ownership. In my lifetime, it's always been a non-partisan holiday. Until Trump. Bicentennial? Non partisan. 250th? Trump ruined it.
I call this photo: "Natalie, get in here, pooped myself again. And bring a diet coke with you."
I would say that Trump probably no longer raped kids, in that he is old and frail, but what do I know? You'd think he'd be unable to play golf at this point, but he manages, so who knows.
If you ever wondered why Trump's parent's shipped him off to a private faux military school, check out this photo of how happy it makes him to beat Doug Burgum to cutting a ribbon for something. He's still that kid, and NOTHING makes him happier than taking something away from somebody