Mx Jon

@mxjons

They/Them, trans/nonbinary Mainer in the godless south (New Hampshire). Trying to find levity in the face of *gestures broadly*. Very strong feelings about lighthouses.

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Mx Jon@mxjons· 1d

Why is my friends group chat so thirsty for Lord Licorice from Candyland? I mean I get it, but why?

Lord Licorice from Candyland. A fop dressed in what looks like 17th century courtly clothing in red and black latex.

Mx Jon@mxjons· 24d

Other millennials talk about The Mummy but Romeo+Juliet (1996) was my bisexual awakening🫠

Benvolio (Dash Mihok) in an open Hawaiian shirt

Tybalt (John Leguizamo) looking sexy with his pistol

Mercutio (Harold Perrineau) makes an entrance in drag

Romeo (Leonardo DiCaprio) dressed as a knight and Juliet (Claire Danes) dresses as an angel kiss in an elaborately decorated elevator

Mx Jon@mxjons· Jun 15

And of course it was three. It's always three.

The three posts liked by the porn bot, including the post about porn bots always liking three posts

Mx Jon@mxjons· Jun 15

It is as the prophecy foretold!

A porn bot liking my post about porn bots liking my posts.

Mx Jon@mxjons· Jun 9

Describe your gender without downloading any new pictures

A seagull stands atop a sign depicting a seagull with a "no" symbol stamped over it. The seagull doesn't care. The seagull is ungovernable.

Mx Jon@mxjons· Apr 17

post the best picture you have ever taken of your pet (if you feel like it): This is Smokey. He loves to play fetch but sometimes the mice he brings you are real. He doesn't understand why you're screaming.

A gray tabby cat sitting halfway up a white artificial Christmas tree lit with colored lights. He is naughty and doesn't care if Santa knows it.

Mx Jon@mxjons· Apr 1

Not doing April Fool's this year. I didn't even put out the "I'm a smart paper towel dispenser!" signs at work.

A sign reading "I'm a smart paper towel dispenser! To operate simply say 'PAPER TOWELS NOW!' in a loud clear voice."

Mx Jon@mxjons· Mar 16

This guy's going to lose his fucking mind when he hears about potatoes.

From r/nostupidquestions u/OkRickySpinach asks "Why haven't we developed large rice? Rice is very small. Wouldn't it make more sense if each grain was like 8 oz? Then you'd only have to eat a couple rice"

Mx Jon@mxjons· Mar 6

"That doesn't count as a hear me out, that's a conventionally attractive tree." -my wife

Meme image of two muscly arms clasping hands. Text over the hands reads "The most unhinged 'hear me outs' imaginable." Superimposed on the arm on the left is the trans pride flag, and on the arm on the right is the demisexual pride flag.

Mx Jon@mxjons· Feb 28

Behold, the Sunbeam Enjoyer.

A gray tabby cat lounging in a sunbeam on a leather couch next to a chenille blanket.

Mx Jon@mxjons· Feb 24

Star Wars fact: Y-wings are shaped like that because you need line-of-sight between the nacelles to generate a stable warp bubble.

A Y-wing from Star Wars. It looks a lot like a Star Trek ship, with a primary hull, secondary hull behind, and two large cylindrical nacelles.

Mx Jon@mxjons· Feb 24

I get this impulse every few months and it's getting harder to fight. I can't be trusted with grown up money...

A cat wearing a jacket and button down shirt sits at the breakfast table with a newspaper and cup of coffee. Superimposed text reads "I should buy a 3D printer"

Mx Jon@mxjons· Feb 24

The Mondo Burger uniforms from Good Burger did something to my developing brain on a molecular level.

A thin blond haired man wearing combat boots, black PVC pants, and a diagonally colorblocked black, blue, and silver PVC jacket with an offset zipper walks towards the camera holding a silver cylinder in a menacing fashion. He is approaching a blond haired woman wearing a blue and yellow colorblocked PVC crop top with black sleeve detailing and a high waisted black PVC miniskirt. She also wears sporty safety glasses. She is assembling a hamburger but her hands are obscured by another extra upstage from her.

Mx Jon@mxjons· Feb 24

This object shouldn't exist. This is an adapter with a female XLR audio connector on one end and a male compressed air quick-connect fitting on the other. If you know what it's for, you're a pervert and we should be friends.

A silver cylinder with an audio connector on one end and a compressed air fitting on the other.

Mx Jon@mxjons· Feb 9

Always excited to see the Muppets* *Except this fucking guy.

Chip the IT guy, the most repellent muppet

Mx Jon@mxjons· Feb 6

Uh oh. This isn't good.

Mx Jon@mxjons· Feb 5

I just found the nacho recipe I wrote down in my mid 20s and while it does have some solid pointers good god is it cringey. Note- you actually want your oven closer to 400°F, and I've come around on red onion being an oven-able topping.

Mx Jon@mxjons· Jan 31

So #WonderMan was really great. Strong recommendation from me.

Black screen with small white text reading "Josh Gad will return in Avengers Doomsday"

Mx Jon@mxjons· Jan 25

Thought I might get a tattoo of the original fresnel lens from the lighthouse where my wife and I got engaged, but then I remembered I promised my artist no more straight lines and concentric circles and, well...

A photo of the original fresnel lens of Cape
Hatteras Light, an intricate piece of precision glasswork consisting entirely of straight lines and concentric circles.

Mx Jon@mxjons· Nov 5

A Domino's that very obviously used to be a Pizza Hut, complete with the classic Pizza Hut roofline in Domino's blue.

Mx Jon@mxjons· Oct 7

A zombie Jon would probably eat your brains, if they weren't so shy. 🔗 picrew.me/en/image_mak...

A blue eyed, purple haired, glasses wearing zombie smiles at you awkwardly from the pumpkin patch.

Mx Jon@mxjons· Sep 12

Nobody: No one at all: Not a single soul: Me: Revolutionary Girl Grootena

Utena and Anthy from Revolutionary Girl Utena, but Utena's face is swapped out for baby Groot's from Guardians of the Galaxy

Mx Jon@mxjons· Sep 12

Drop some COATS 🧥🖤🦁 (Okay it's a vest, sue me)

My Disneybounding battle vest designed after the character Tamatoa from Moana, photographed at the Journey of Water at EPCOT. The vest is pink fading to teal with gold nailhead studs covering the yoke, gold epaulettes, and a back patch featuring Maui's enchanted fishhook with text reading "what a terrible performance, get the hook (get it?)"

Mx Jon@mxjons· Sep 7

This is a test

Mx Jon@mxjons· Aug 30

Today I accidentally Doordashed nearly a hundred dollars of food to a stranger's house on the other side of town, but on the bright side, this also happened: