Nick Dixon

@ndixon

Software developer, writer of wrongs, photonerd and currymuncher

389 Following315 Followers1,678 Posts

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Nick Dixon@ndixon· 24d

Heading to Clacton to support their leader and bring back Ceefax

Nick Dixon@ndixon· 27d

This will surprise no-one, but three successive attempts at getting Google Gemini to answer a mind-numbingly simple question failed miserably. Maybe we need to throw more investors' money at it, and a few more lakes.

Google Gemini failing to produce a response again, even an incorrect one, to a simple question about the kick-off time of the World Cup final; instead collapsing like Pete Hegseth after Holy Communion.

Nick Dixon@ndixon· Jul 14

#photography #bemptoncliffs #puffin

Two puffins peering into the North Sea from a cliff edge at Bempton Cliffs, East Yorkshire

Three puffins on a cliff edge at Bempton Cliffs, East Yorkshire

Nick Dixon@ndixon· May 10

Labour could learn something from this too, as they rush to the right to compete with Reform.

Quote from Rick Wilson in his article in Byline Times, May 2026:
“This is the part the Tories need to understand, sitting there clutching their commemorative Thatcher mugs: you do not absorb a populist movement. The populist movement absorbs you. It eats your donors. It eats your activists. It eats your local associations. It eats your moderates first because they’re the most nutritious. Then it eats your conservatives. Then it stands there in your skin and tells everyone it was always there.”

Nick Dixon@ndixon· Apr 11

In the middle of reading Project Hail Mary, I asked Google's AI to describe an episode of MacGyver in the style of Andy Weir, and it came up with this absolute gem. I'm laughing my head off.

LOG ENTRY: MISSION DAY 1
I’m pretty much screwed.
That’s my considered opinion. Screwed.
I’m currently locked in a subterranean clean-room laboratory in the middle of the Mojave Desert. The bad guys—a group of generic "international contractors" with submachine guns and very expensive haircuts—have been kind enough to seal the pressure-door from the outside. They also left a chemical timer rigged to a tank of sulfur mustard gas.
In about eight minutes, this room becomes a very shiny tomb.
The door is a four-inch-thick slab of reinforced steel with a pneumatic locking mechanism. I don't have the key. I don't even have a bobby pin. What I do have is a roll of duct tape (bless you, Pete), a leaking canister of liquid nitrogen used for cooling the superconductors, and a half-eaten bars of high-fructose chocolate.
Time to do some math.
The Problem
The door’s locking bolt is made of a hardened carbon-steel alloy. At room temperature, it has a tensile strength of roughly 800 MPa. I can’t kick it down. I’m a fit guy, but I’m not a hydraulic press.
However, steel has a "ductile-to-brittle transition temperature." If I can get that bolt cold enough—specifically below -150°C—the molecular structure changes. It stops being "tough" and starts acting like a piece of glass.
The MacGyver Constant
Here’s the plan:
The Funnel: I need to direct the liquid nitrogen (LN_2) directly into the keyhole and the door seam. I’ll use the plastic wrapper from the chocolate bar, reinforced with duct tape, to create a makeshift cryogenic funnel.
The Thermal Shock: LN_2 boils at -196°C. When it hits that steel bolt, the temperature gradient is going to be massive.
The Mechanical Force: Once the bolt is brittle, I need a sudden kinetic impact.
Execution
I taped the chocolate wrapper into a cone. My hands were shaking a bit—not because I was scared (okay, maybe a little), but because the air in here was already smelling faintly of garlic. That’s the sulfur mustard. If I smell it, it’s…

I upended the LN_2 canister.
The liquid poured through my makeshift funnel. Sizzle. A cloud of white vapor filled the floor. I watched the frost creep across the steel door like a localized ice age.
Note to self: If you ever do this again, wear gloves. My fingers are currently screaming at me in a language made entirely of swear words.

I checked my watch. Two minutes left. The gas hissed louder.
I grabbed a heavy fire extinguisher from the wall. It’s a standard CO2 model, weighing about 20 pounds.
"Okay, physics," I whispered. "Don't fail me now."
I swung the extinguisher like a sledgehammer, connecting right where the frozen bolt met the frame.
CLANG.
The sound was like a gunshot. The brittle steel bolt didn't just bend; it shattered into a dozen jagged shards. The door creaked under the residual pneumatic pressure and swung open.
Results
I stumbled into the hallway, coughing and blinking. I was alive.
Total materials used:
12 inches of duct tape.
1 chocolate bar wrapper (chocolate consumed for caloric morale).
2 liters of liquid nitrogen.
1 fire extinguisher (still functional).
I’ve still got to stop the bad guys from launching the satellite, and I’m currently armed with a Swiss Army knife and a prayer. But hey, the math checks out.
I’m going to go find a Jeep and some more tape. Today is looking up.

Nick Dixon@ndixon· Apr 5

TV schedule for Tuesday April 7:

CBS, 8pm: Let's Make a Deal

Nick Dixon@ndixon· Apr 5

On the south-west corner of a historic walled city you've all heard of, there's a massive stone "Traitors' Gate" where they used to put the heads of people like him on spikes.

Micklegate Bar in York, where historically the heads of enemies of the Crown, like Richard of York, were placed on spikes as a warning to others

Nick Dixon@ndixon· Mar 27

This new Trump-signed US currency looks a bit shady tbh

A $100 bill, Benjamin Franklin replaced with *that* birthday message from Donald Trump to Jeffrey Epstein, inside a sketch of a female torso, with Trump's signature where the pubic hair would be. Classy.

Nick Dixon@ndixon· Mar 16

Legendary text response:

i ain't reading all that
i'm happy for u tho
or sorry that happened

Nick Dixon@ndixon· Mar 14

Melania Trump with her palms together, as if in prayer

Nick Dixon@ndixon· Mar 9

There is always a tweet.

Tweet from @realDonaldTrump August 5, 2024: STOCK MARKETS ARE CRASHING, JOB NUMBERS ARE TERRIBLE, WE ARE HEADING TO WORLD WAR III, AND WE HAVE TWO OF THE MOST INCOMPETENT "LEADERS" IN HISTORY. THIS IS NOT GOOD!!!

Nick Dixon@ndixon· Mar 6

This is a really odd statement to make unless you're in danger of running out of weapons.

Headline from BBC News on the statement from the White House Press Secretary: "US military has enough weapons to demolish Iranian regime - White House press secretary"

Nick Dixon@ndixon· Mar 1

So there it is. The new Sarajevo moment. And here's Israel now:

Gavrilo Princip, after his arrest following his assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand in Sarajevo on 28th June 1914. That incident triggered a chain of events which led to the outbreak of the first World War.

Nick Dixon@ndixon· Feb 17

Great #kevlinhenney at the station ticket machine this evening.

A station ticket machine showing a Windows blue screen of death, and the reassuring message that "Your
device ran into a problem and needs to restart. We're just collecting someverror info and then we'll restart for you" 0% complete

Nick Dixon@ndixon· Feb 14

Or Strax.

Steven Cheung, White House Communications Director. Sontarans were a humanoid race of belligerent and militaristic clones from the planet Sontar.

Nick Dixon@ndixon· Jan 18

Cletus Spuckler from The Simpsons, smiling and holding a rat

Nick Dixon@ndixon· Jan 16

Me versus US Embassy, on the day they kidnapped Maduro

A tourist in Pariser Platz, Berlin, giving the finger in front of the US Embassy, on the same day that the US invaded Venezuela and apprehended Nicolás Maduro.

Nick Dixon@ndixon· Jan 8

I asked Gemini to rewrite Trump's Minnesota Truth Social post with fewer words and more compassion. A machine did a better job of faking sympathy than Trump can.