Me walking past all the people in line for pokemon cards on my day to open the store
Really should have been your muzzle instead
Last time you played with Nick you were a bully
Seeking good dogs to lick this off of me
Wake up wake up wake uuuuup
Dad's POV when you sneak into his room because you can't sleep
Dad's waitin' on that tongue
Dad wants you to tell him if this smells funny
I should be annoyed that my dumb fingers can't hold the slippery wet phone, but I think it just adds to the fat dad vibes actually.
You can look at your dad's tummy a little, as a treat
Small creature isn't big enough to order anything else from the bar
He just keeps asking me for mai tais
The showers are nice here
He's always acting so extra
My new child is so so perfect
Last weekend at the con; everyone can vibe with that moment you take a lazy picture of your crotch to show everyone your starus
Some of y'all should let me recreate this at the con over the weekend
Your dad dog is up making a mess again
This jock on the yoga mat never fails to amuse me
I take so many dick pics that's always this angle but you don't understand the fat boner never lets me out of bed
Hey, Dad needs your help with something
Enslaved to the bird for one year
Reviews from those who watched me open my @bearandbeagle.store order include "Dear God," and "That's a bit much"
At least one of us is awake
Forced to go back to work after being a little dork all weekend.
Gonna need you to clean this up
Why yes, I did only get it because of a picture of a fox on the package
