Riding home in the bendy part of the bus #Picklesburgh

The weather made Live Nation quit FUCK Live Nation

That was before i was three pickle drinks deep

I think the Pirates should fuck up a run down for #Picklesburgh

This looked gross from a distance and still isn’t great close up

Shoutout to this booth with a bulk discount on cocktails at #Picklesburgh

The marketing worked on me

Rick Ross voice

Yeah I definitely haven’t ended up with five other cups trying to get the Grimace one

Maybe this is the coffee table in question

Hell yeah I’m imagining you like that guy in the movie Unstoppable driving the pickup truck

Waiting for the big train

Stayed up late making this image of Ball Arena photshopped into my parent backyard for a joke they won't get because they don't follow the NBA or NHL enough to know that this arena is literally called "Ball Arena"

I’m sorry I hate shrimp too much to commit to the bit

Wasn’t Shaq already part of an #84 Carvana livery? investors.carvana.com/news-release...

This remote I got to replace the one for my TV that stopped working was definitely not intended for people my age/ability

Chili and cheese on it somebody needs to raise my taxes

Torpedoing my future congressional campaign because I ordered the Big Glizzy at Sheetz instead of two for a dollar hot dogs

You have to sneak into the games under a cardboard box. Can’t let stadium security see you

Found my receipt for the scale I bought two years ago, it does all the body measurements but it’s not smart so you have to put them in your app yourself, less than $30

It’s Disclosure Day Day (the day I go see Disclosure Day) but first I have to make sure I’ve read the book

Can confirm, I’m at a soccer match right now not in my seat because it’s easier to deal with my Invisalign aligners if I have a table to set things down on

Pride Night x Dollar Dog Night

When I’m President this is who I’m fighting in an octagon on the White House lawn

There we go #PittBS #H2P

Okay, I think I can do better than this

Good morning

#PittBS question: do you think you could drink enough at Gene’s Place to spend your age for your birthday? I’m starting out by asking Gene for his most expensive shot and an Old German

Thank you Chase Bank for giving me the great news that I can afford to spend way less than what a house actually costs on a house

Look at what Pitt did to the turf at Heinz Field #PittBS